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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

for flouting hospital 'no sibling' rule for ebf baby?

659 replies

StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 14:57

DS had an operation yesterday. He needed me to be there. Breastfed baby also needed me.

I took my Aunt to look after my ds and we were sent initially to a waiting room. The plan was for her to keep him there and for me to pop out of the ward to feed him.

However, we were there for half an hour and my ds started to ask for a feed, so I started to bf. Literally 2 sucks in, we were called. I pulled him off and he screamed so I jigged him about (which quietens him as a distraction) and moved towards the ward with him in tow.

The nurse told me he wasn't allowed. I told her that I needed to finish his feed and then I would take him back to my aunt. I offered to vrubg ds ub 10 mins but she got arsey saying that ds would have to have his operation cancelled if he missed his slpt. Nurse started tutting about him disturbing the other patients and that there was a strict no-sibling rule that I knew about as it was in the letter (it was).

so WIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 19:03

Mutley77 Currently my ds goes around 2 hours between feeds, day and night Sad

OP posts:
AreYouADurtBirdOrALadyBird · 05/02/2013 19:04

I'm not going off on a tangent. I gave you the exact scenario you had except it was formula.
You cannot accept you were wrong.

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 19:04

Bout, I am chosing to ignore the reasons for not allowing the baby to bf in the ward, that were never given to me by the hospital.

I don't believe they are an issue because if they were an issue, they would have said so in the letter. The issue they stated is space. For that reason I carried him and kept him on my lap, leaving the buggy unattended but out of the way in the waiting room.

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atacareercrossroads · 05/02/2013 19:06

I doubt they will relax the rules. They'd have to for ff mums with 'fussy' babies, mums with 2 yo who won't calm down except for them etc. Just not feasible.

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 19:07

'Your baby is old enough to have been popped back in his buggy by auntie and walked around the grounds with a drink of water and a rice cake for the 10 mins that you needed to sign consents etc'.

AndFanjo, you are probably right about this, but there was no way of knowing, and the nurse was not forthcoming with any information about where we were going, what we were doing and how long we would be. For all I knew we were going to be gone for a couple of hours, or at least a good amount of time. Otherwise she would have said 'well, lets get you sorted then you can come back and feed, as we won't be long'.

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Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 19:08

Although, the consent forms came at random intervals with random people who didn't introduce themselves over a period of an hour and a half.

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WipsGlitter · 05/02/2013 19:08

Arghhhhh. "I read no siblings" but thought it didn't mean me. And all the other people who think "it doesn't mean me" for a million and one valid and not valid reasons. That's how chaos starts and that's why there are RULES. If we all think "oh but they don't mean ME".

You are coming over as smug, supercilious and incredibly entitled.

And you CAN be separated you CHOOSE not to be. He does not need fed 24 hours a day.

AreYouADurtBirdOrALadyBird · 05/02/2013 19:08

Well she was quite rightly expecting you to follow hospital rules.

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 19:09

Are have you ever breastfed?

If you wake an asleep baby and bf them, they will fall straight asleep again within seconds and NOT feed.

OP posts:
sittinginthesun · 05/02/2013 19:09

I'm sorry, OP, but your baby could have been left for a few minutes. You would not have caused him damage. Would he not take a bottle or cup of expressed milk?

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 19:11

'What if it was a formula fed baby who would only take a bottle from Mum? Should she be allowed to flout the rules? '

Perhaps. i don't know much about ff babies tbh but if the baby really had NEVER been fed by anyone other than mum and was dependent in that way, then probably the same should apply.

I think those people would be very rare though.

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Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 19:11

Yes. He could have been left for a few minutes, but not abandoned for an unknown quantity of time.

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AreYouADurtBirdOrALadyBird · 05/02/2013 19:13

Yes I have,tandem fed my last two. Obviously couldn't feed on the school run so had to make it work around my schedule. Obviously couldn't feed the older one whilst I was in hospital having the younger one. Expressed and gave formula,re established bf when I came home.
Thanks for asking.

sittinginthesun · 05/02/2013 19:14

But there are plenty of babies who will cry if left by their mum, particularly between 9-13 months or so. I had one of those, but I still had to leave him at times.

I think the feeding is not relevant, tbh, it is just an excuse (and, yes, I have BF a baby, FF another, and would have left them both with a relative in the next room if asked).

AreYouADurtBirdOrALadyBird · 05/02/2013 19:15

Yes I have,tandem fed my last two. Obviously couldn't feed on the school run so had to make it work around my schedule. Obviously couldn't feed the older one whilst I was in hospital having the younger one. Expressed and gave formula,re established bf when I came home.
Thanks for asking.

exoticfruits · 05/02/2013 19:16

I never know why people start AIBU and then don't listen. You clearly started in the view that the hospital was unreasonable-on average 50% will disagree. I would say that it was time to put your older DC first with your undivided attention-apart from the fact that rules are rules and not up for interpretation.

AreYouADurtBirdOrALadyBird · 05/02/2013 19:16

Sorry,heavy fingers on the post button Grin

KitchenandJumble · 05/02/2013 19:17

YABU. Completely and utterly.

And it is ridiculous to say a baby is exclusively breastfeed "bar a couple of ricecakes." He either is or isn't exclusively BF. Yours isn't.

hopenglory · 05/02/2013 19:18

"abandoned for an unknown quantity of time'

oh, so dramatic Wink

Left with his aunt who presumably he is close with since she came with you to the hospital - and you could have asked how long it would take

Coconutty · 05/02/2013 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AreYouADurtBirdOrALadyBird · 05/02/2013 19:21

I am very identifiable after that last post so I am going to name change and leave this thread.

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 19:21

Actually, he doesn't know my aunt. She lives in Lancashire and made the journey to London for the purpose of helping me with my childcare issues, as my 'interesting circumstances' recently posted about mean that I am only starting to make friends where I am and have no-one to call on to help.

But I believe he would have been 'alright' with her otherwise I wouldn't have agreed to her offer.

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Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 19:23

sitting, presumably a 9-13 months has had more a chance of being past the exclusively breastfed stage? DS doesn't cry when being left by me. He cries when he is hungry, sees me and then his only source of food walks away.

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BigSilky · 05/02/2013 19:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 19:25

There's no drips, just challenging of assumptions.

My aunt can't breastfeed. Is that a drip feed?

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