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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

for flouting hospital 'no sibling' rule for ebf baby?

659 replies

StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 14:57

DS had an operation yesterday. He needed me to be there. Breastfed baby also needed me.

I took my Aunt to look after my ds and we were sent initially to a waiting room. The plan was for her to keep him there and for me to pop out of the ward to feed him.

However, we were there for half an hour and my ds started to ask for a feed, so I started to bf. Literally 2 sucks in, we were called. I pulled him off and he screamed so I jigged him about (which quietens him as a distraction) and moved towards the ward with him in tow.

The nurse told me he wasn't allowed. I told her that I needed to finish his feed and then I would take him back to my aunt. I offered to vrubg ds ub 10 mins but she got arsey saying that ds would have to have his operation cancelled if he missed his slpt. Nurse started tutting about him disturbing the other patients and that there was a strict no-sibling rule that I knew about as it was in the letter (it was).

so WIBU?

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 05/02/2013 15:00

Well, I can see your POV but yes, YABU, rules are there for a reason, and not just to make life complicated.

Hope your DS is ok :)

AgentProvocateur · 05/02/2013 15:00

Sorry, but yes I think you were. The rule's there for a reason, and no matter how quiet your baby is, there's still a risk that he'd be a distraction when anaesthetists are telling you important information or carrying out a procedure. I think your solution of taking another adult was ideal though.

WorraLiberty · 05/02/2013 15:02

Yes sorry.

As much as it was difficult for you, the letter didn't say 'No siblings except in cases of XYZ'.

Couldn't your Aunt have gone into the ward while you fed the baby?

ENormaSnob · 05/02/2013 15:05

In my trust this rule is being strictly implemented due to mass norovirus outbreak.

Is that the case for your trust or is that the normal visiting rules?

Yabu imo.

NaturalBaby · 05/02/2013 15:05

My ds has recently had an operation - I asked a lot of questions trying to get around their 'rules' but was simply told 'it's not safe (to do that)'.

You had a good back up plan but it didn't work, the staff in the hospital have rules for a reason, you can't expect them to break rules when the safety of their patients is their priority.

whatyoulookinat · 05/02/2013 15:06

Yanbu its not as if hospitals are quite places without distractions anyway. You were organised & took someone with you to look after your baby too so no big deal for the staff to let you feed him them let your aunt take him.

BigSilky · 05/02/2013 15:07

YABU

Viviennemary · 05/02/2013 15:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

nipersvest · 05/02/2013 15:09

yabu. rules are rules, it's not just down to noise tho, there's other health and safety issues, infection spread etc

secretscwirrels · 05/02/2013 15:10

Not safe for the baby.
When DS2 was 1 week old DS1 was rushed into hospital by ambulance. DH had to accompany him and stay overnight on the ward with him as DS2 was EBF.

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 15:10

Worra, my aunt DID come into the ward, and whisked baby away as soon as he was fed. he didn't disturb anyone because he was feeding, and then not there iyswim.

Aunt offered to go to the ward in my place with ds, but nurse not happy because she couldn't sign hte consent forms.

OP posts:
Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 15:11

ENorma, it was normal rules. DS has another sibling who had a 3rd adult looking after her, in keeping with the sibling rules. However, no-one else could breastfeed ds, so arranged for additional adult to be responsible for him for all except feeding.

OP posts:
caramelwaffle · 05/02/2013 15:12

Having lived for months in a hospital "clean" environment I would say, yes, yabu.

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 15:13

It wasn't for safety reasons that he was not allowed. It was because there was very little room on the ward.

OP posts:
Kveta · 05/02/2013 15:13

I think by this age, even an ebf baby should be distractable by snacks or toys tbh.

I can appreciate it must be difficult when worried about one child and having to worry about the baby too, but for infection control reasons, I wouldn't want to take my 7 month old onto a ward anyway.

hope your older DS is ok.

brettgirl2 · 05/02/2013 15:14

YANBU. It's just another situation of the nhs preaching about breastfeeding but then not actually supporting women to succeed. Maybe they should try cleaning the fucking places more often, I imagine that would be more likely to prevent noro.

Go and tear down the patronising 'breast is best' posters and make a bonfire in the car park.

If your baby needs feeding they need feeding, what a joke.

I'll book in for anger management classes Smile

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 15:17

Kveta,

It was only grommets. Thanks. He went in at 9:45am and was allowed home at 11am Shock

I wasn't expecting that. If I had known I could have made sure baby was topped up well and then left him at home. DS had the very same operation 2 years ago at a different hospital and it took all day.

OP posts:
Kveta · 05/02/2013 15:18

sod's law Starlight!

glad he's ok :)

nefertarii · 05/02/2013 15:19

The rules aren't there because children are a distraction. Well not just that. Its do with disease control.

Sorry, I understand you were in a difficult position but the rules are there for a reason.

I prefer rules that are for saftey to strictly adhered to. Once they start bending them it goes down hill.

MummytoMog · 05/02/2013 15:20

I got ordered off a ward with my six week old once (although there was sod all on the doors about not bringing children) because it wasn't 'safe'. Not sure why it was safe for my disabled and chronically ill dad to be there in that case, although as he got C Diff and MRSA I'm bloody glad I took her out.

I don't think you were being unreasonable, you couldn't have known that it would only take a couple of hours and you had made a good plan otherwise.

BigSilky · 05/02/2013 15:20

I think the problem is that allowing you in with your baby for 20 minutes means all the other families can take their babies in for 20 minutes, and then Granny needs to come in, and Aunty, and then all hell breaks loose. Better a flat no.

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 15:21

The rules stated in the letter were that there was no space.

I left the buggy in the enormous waiting room and just carried ds (who had just started his first feed of the morning) with me to the ward, then he fed on my lap.

Aunt took him away once he'd had enough not to be distressed.

OP posts:
brettgirl2 · 05/02/2013 15:26

In terms of 'infection control' it's rather ironic that most people think the safest place to have their baby is hospital Confused?

coraltoes · 05/02/2013 15:26

Hospitals are hideously grubby, be glad your dc was spared the filth!
Glad your son is ok

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 15:26

Bigsilky, I don't think allowing an exclusively breastfeeding baby access to his mother (next of kin to the patient) when he needs a feed is anything like a general 'allowing babies in with aunts and grannies' etc.

It is quite a specific detail.

What do posters suggest the solution might have been? Postpone ds' operation until the baby no longer needed me?

OP posts: