for flouting hospital 'no sibling' rule for ebf baby?

[StarlightMcKenzie]

DS had an operation yesterday. He needed me to be there. Breastfed baby also needed me.

I took my Aunt to look after my ds and we were sent initially to a waiting room. The plan was for her to keep him there and for me to pop out of the ward to feed him.

However, we were there for half an hour and my ds started to ask for a feed, so I started to bf. Literally 2 sucks in, we were called. I pulled him off and he screamed so I jigged him about (which quietens him as a distraction) and moved towards the ward with him in tow.

The nurse told me he wasn't allowed. I told her that I needed to finish his feed and then I would take him back to my aunt. I offered to vrubg ds ub 10 mins but she got arsey saying that ds would have to have his operation cancelled if he missed his slpt. Nurse started tutting about him disturbing the other patients and that there was a strict no-sibling rule that I knew about as it was in the letter (it was).

so WIBU?

[knackeredmother]

Well the secondcoming seeing as I was that patients doctor and therefore had the best interests of him and his family at the forefront of my care I think I was perfectly within my rights to have a quiet word with the nurse involved. It was totally inappropriate to refuse to let his wife in.
Had I not been the doctor in charge of the mans care I would have Considered reporting that nurse.

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

It's quite normal for parents to accompany their child to the anaesthetic room and see them to sleep. Same as we let them in recovery to collect them.

[McNewPants2013]

Rules are rules and when I was in having dd2 I did say to the MW why isn't my partner allowed in yet the women had hers.

Soon after he was told to go.

There could have been many other mothers in the same boat as you, and it does cause other people to complain about it.

[StarlightMcKenzie]

I wasn't allowed anywhere near recovery. But went into the theatre where he was put to sleep AND operated on, which I found very surprising. I had no baby. I doubt the huffy nurse would have allowed that regardless, and I would not have asked. The reason given then would not be space I expect.

[CloudsAndTrees]

To be fair, the hospital is more likely to tell you that the reason is no space rather than infection control when you are about to send your child into theatre where there's a risk of infection.

It would make some parents worry even more if they started worrying about infection when their child was about to have an op, and they probably just use the 'no space' rule for everyone because they probably really don't have the space for everyone to bring along younger siblings and pushchairs.

[DoItToJulia]

Yanbu. Another example of baby unfriendliness and a lack of understanding and promotion of breastfeeding.

You made provisions for the baby to be properly supervised. The baby needed one feed. So you fed him. What's the big deal?

[bonkersLFDT20]

Rules can be bent in exceptional circumstances.

The hospital my Mum was in essentially closed due to norovirus. We were allowed to stay as she was dying. It was made completely clear to us that rules had been broken purely for this situation and the nurses had to fight our corner when infection control came round. I had my 9 month old BF baby with me and I felt torn (MacMillan encouraged me to stay).

I do not think your situation merits you breaking the rules.

[knackeredmother]

Secondcoming, yes it did sorry. I forget we are all strangers on here not knowing each others jobs and lives! Am very sleep deprived.

[BigSilky]

I just don't see breastfeeding as a reason to change or break hospital rules (except in cases like Bonker's).

The child the NHS was providing for was the child having the operation. Why should it make provisions for its siblings too?

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

Wouldn't most people prefer the rules being bent a little to allow a baby to feed rather than a screaming baby in the waiting room?

I would have thought that would have been less disrupting for other patients, visitors and staff.

Yes there are rules. No siblings visiting due to no space. But does it have to be as black and white as that?

A small baby feeding on mums knee is not the same as a 3 year old running round the ward is it?
Surely there has to be a bit of flexibility?

[StarlightMcKenzie]

Anyway, the idea of a 'win' is tempting TSC

Their website says that aiming to become the first fully accredited UNICEF baby friendly hospital in the London area and I have the name and email of the lead contact.

I will email them and update when I get a response.

[attheendoftheday]

I think YANBU. If the baby needs to be fed it needs to be fed.

[SueFlaysAgainstTheDaleks]

A lot of people have asked how old your baby is, but I haven't seen a reply anywhere.

Given that you were warned in advance about the 'no siblings' rule, in your situation I would have called the hospital and asked about exemptions for breastfed babies (a previous poster mentioned a policy for babies

[RedHelenB]

I had an exclusively bf baby & she had to go without a bf in order to have her operation. I think you are being ott about this, at 7 months I'd have taken some finger food or a yoghurt for aunt to give in the waiting room.

[Flisspaps]

I don't think you were being unreasonable.

It'll be very interesting to see their response, considering they're classed as 'baby friendly'

[ChunkyPickle]

I don't think you were being unreasonable. I think that 'babes in arms' are different to children, and I think that a feeding baby coming in with you for 10 mins is infinitely preferable to a screaming baby for the time you're away.

'Rules are rules' is a very silly way to behave - rules are there for a reason, and unless you understand that reason you are destined to mis-apply the rules, or not apply them when you should because they don't meet the exact letter.

[higgle]

YANBU my personal experience is that hospital staff like rules for the sake of them. Having threatened to report to police if they touched my "not allowed" flowers in the past I have found they tend to back down if you are assertive with them, and threaten to complain about the individual concerned.

How much space does a baby being closely held take up? total nonsense.

[nefertarii]

The op seems very good at avoiding certain questions. I doubt you will get confirmation of age. I suspect her baby is well over weaning age and she thinks if she says that more people will call her unreasonable.

[nickelbabe]

nefertiti I think Starlight's DS2 is about 7 months.

[nickelbabe]

nefertarii even.

[nickelbabe]

so not well above weaning age and about the clingy age where they can't understand why mummy knows they need food but have disappeared into another room and will they ever come back and i'm starving now oh help, i think i'm going to die because my one source of food has leftr me forever and i will starve to death

[DonnaDoon]

YANBU I had to feed my 4 month old in a cubbyhole thing at the dentist today (They were running very late and I am too embarrassed to feed in full waiting room )

[MrsMiniversCharlady]

So, to recap:

Your ds2 was operated on and discharged within 3.5 hours, despite expecting it to take all day. You were welcomed into the theatre to offer him reassurance as he was anaesthetised and were quickly reunited afterwards.

Prior to this they waived the rule of no-siblings on the ward in order for you to breastfeed, despite being warned in advance that siblings would not be allowed due to a lack of space (which yes, causes safety issues).

And yet you want to email a complaint. About what exactly? That a nurse was 'huffy' when you made a fuss when she pointed out that you'd be warned that siblings wouldn't be allowed?

I think a thank you letter for the safe, speedy treatment of your ds2 and the flexibility shown towards your baby would be rather more in order quite honestly.