for flouting hospital 'no sibling' rule for ebf baby?

[StarlightMcKenzie]

DS had an operation yesterday. He needed me to be there. Breastfed baby also needed me.

I took my Aunt to look after my ds and we were sent initially to a waiting room. The plan was for her to keep him there and for me to pop out of the ward to feed him.

However, we were there for half an hour and my ds started to ask for a feed, so I started to bf. Literally 2 sucks in, we were called. I pulled him off and he screamed so I jigged him about (which quietens him as a distraction) and moved towards the ward with him in tow.

The nurse told me he wasn't allowed. I told her that I needed to finish his feed and then I would take him back to my aunt. I offered to vrubg ds ub 10 mins but she got arsey saying that ds would have to have his operation cancelled if he missed his slpt. Nurse started tutting about him disturbing the other patients and that there was a strict no-sibling rule that I knew about as it was in the letter (it was).

so WIBU?

[nickelbabe]

other posters have said 7 months because they know roughly when she gave birth and also, in her profile, one of her last threads she says "DS is 7 months"

[crunchbag]

YABU. You knew the no sibling rule and decided it didn't apply to you otherwise you would have made sure your DS had his first feed before you were likely to be called in. You wouldn't have relied on him staying asleep long enough.

[nefertarii]

so roughly 7 months, over weaning age then. Some babies are clingy at 7 months some not.

There is a reason the op doesn't want to confirm the age.

[Chandras]

Frankly, I think they went the extra mile by allowing you to do that, at that age a child can have ebm.

Your older child needed your whole attention, you risked missing his operation slot (and probably delayed those of other patients that may have been in the waiting list for long), the staff had to be dealing with you rather than paying attention to their patients, and you want to complain? Good grief!

[Chandras]

And being clingy is not a excuse to bring a child to hospital. I can assure you that in every hospital there are a handful of parents who have left young children in the care of relatives for longer hours as they spend weeks in the ward.

[StarlightMcKenzie]

I haven't said the age because it has been mentioned many times.

Weaning age has nothing to do with the UNICEF and NHS guidelines on breastfeeding who state that babies should be breastfed on demand until well into the second year.

However, I can confirm that my ds isn't weaned.

[nickelbabe]

nefer - no not above weaning age!
you start to wean them at approx 6 months, but there is no way a 7mo would be expected to take normal food and accept it as filling!
it's quite normal and expected for a baby of less than a year not to understand that food is food.
and 7mo is only just above the age of guidelines to start weaning.

when DD was that age, she would have screamed the place down if i tried to give her to someone else once I'd started feeding her.

[StarlightMcKenzie]

'You were welcomed into the theatre to offer him reassurance as he was anaesthetised and were quickly reunited afterwards.'

Less welcomed, more to interpret. DS has autism and they were scared of how he might react. I wasn't, but they wanted me there all the same. Not complaining, but not a huge favour either. Just doing as I was told.

[GeorginaWorsley]

Could dad not have been there for DS and you stay home with baby?
I am a paediatric nurse and do children's pre op and theatre alot.
We usually say 'no siblings' as the parent needs to be there 100 per cent fpr the child having the operation.The lists run very quickly and there is no time unfortunately for any hold ups.Theatre just cancel if any problems.
Did you have a pre operative assessment?
That is the place to iron out any difficulties and maybe reach some compromise.
The consent form is a legal document that the parent has to sign having been informed of associated risks,outcomes etc so needs to be done without distraction if possible.
Also I usually tell parents that whilst their child may be allowed home withon a short time,it is by nomeans guaranteed as it is never possible to forsee how a child will be after an anaesthetic.
The other concern would be space around the bedside.Again,should anything untoward happen an emergency team needs clear access to bedside,and also in this scenario a parent would need to be available without distraction.
I believe taking another adult was correct,and am sure I would have accomodated ypou if I were your nurse,but can see their point of view very well

[StarlightMcKenzie]

'would have made sure your DS had his first feed before you were likely to be called in.'

And where exactly, can these Crystal Balls that tell you when you are likely to be called in , be found? I timed it as best as I could. Do you really think that anyone would start a feed exactly 1 minute before being called by a nurse?

[StarlightMcKenzie]

'Did you have a pre operative assessment?'

No. We got sent a questionnaire which I sent back.

[nefertarii]

Weaning is from 17 weeks to 26 weeks. So 7 months is above weaning age.

I have several children and don't need that explaining thanks. My point is there were several options available to the OP, possibly including finger food.

the fact she is reluctant to answer these sorts of questions is very telling. YOur 7 month old is not the same as everyones.

[StarlightMcKenzie]

'The consent form is a legal document that the parent has to sign having been informed of associated risks,outcomes etc so needs to be done without distraction if possible.'

The baby was feeding. He wasn't a distraction. He just does it. No-one knows he's there. Not even me. At night he helps himself and I don't even wake up.

[StarlightMcKenzie]

No. Guildelines state that you should START weaning (not FINISH) after a period of exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months, and that babies rely on milk as their main source of nutrition until a year.

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

Weaning is 17 weeks?
Really?

[atacareercrossroads]

Yanbu, and neither is anyone else who says Yanbu as long as you / they would agree that a ff baby be treated the same ie. A ff baby who has always been fed by the mum, can't wait for his feed etc.

[StarlightMcKenzie]

But, are you saying that your opinion would be different if he was 5 months. Are siblings allowed iyo then?

[StarlightMcKenzie]

what questions nef?

[StarlightMcKenzie]

'Again,should anything untoward happen an emergency team needs clear access to bedside,and also in this scenario a parent would need to be available without distraction.'

This is a bit dramatic no? Why is anything more likely to happen to ds whilst he's sat next to me in a ward waiting for paperwork, than say, on a bus/in cinema etc.?

[nefertarii]

The minimum weaning age is 17 weeks. Its recommended that you wait until 26 weeks. But not always.

My opinion would not be different. My point is that there is a reason you ahve avoided confirming the age. I suspect the reason is that is due to his age there would have been other things possible.

Personally I would have worried what would have happen if you son really needed you and baby needed bfing. What if something (god forbid) had gone wrong?

[GeorginaWorsley]

Did you inform the ward that you would have baby with you beforehand?
Or did you just arrive with him?
Would make a difference to me if I knew situation before op day

[StarlightMcKenzie]

nef ds can eat rice cakes, kind of. but they make a mess and don't fulfil his nutritional nor comfort requirements.

[SamSmalaidh]

OP, am I right in thinking you often have issues around wanting to breastfeed in places where babies aren't welcome/wanting special provision made? I seem to remember previous similar threads...

Look, even with a demand fed baby it is possible to feed them before you have to go and do something or distract them for a little while with food or drinks or cuddles. It seems like you made a big fuss about this to make a point.

[StarlightMcKenzie]

'Its recommended that you wait until 26 weeks. But not always.'

I don't think a yet to be confirmed sibling operation date is a factor in deciding when to begin weaning.

[GeorginaWorsley]

And the emergency scenario I outlined you may think dramatic but no anaesthetic is to be taken lightly and the risk is always there.
The hospital were trying to minimise possible risks and do their best by their patient.
That is all.No one wants to alienate mothers and cause problems ,well at least I certainly don't.
i think letting them know beforehand would have been the polite way to handle it,you may have done so,aoplogies if that the case.