Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU and PFB? I don't think i was.

226 replies

fuckitfuckitfuckit · 30/01/2013 14:03

I was visiting a neighbour who has a DD a similar age as mine, her DD is 13 months, my DD is 10 months.
The DDs were playing side by side with us sat on the sofa drinking tea, when my DD bit her DD, cue screaming.
Before i had chance to react, my neighbour picked up my DD and said 'no, you don't bite.' and bit her on the arm saying 'see, how do like it?' cue DD crying.
I saw red, and snatched DD back and shouted 'What the hell do you think your doing?' and walked out.
She then sent me a text saying that she was sorry she upset me but babies need to learn and has just sent one saying she's really sorry but she thinks i totally over reacted and that it wasn't that hard a bite and it didn't leave a mark.
I'm still angry at her.
I don't think i was BU but i know I've been a bit PFB before, so wibu? AIBU to not want to see her again?

OP posts:
Pippinintherain · 31/01/2013 16:14

Really, the health visitor said that to you?

Ok then...

countrykitten · 31/01/2013 16:15

Imo anyone who thinks that biting babies is ok needs a little more than 'parenting help'.

countrykitten · 31/01/2013 16:16

I am amazed at the posters downplaying this incident - oh, and now the crazy baby biting lady is a 'victim'. Really?

Original poster
fuckitfuckitfuckit · 31/01/2013 17:32

HV is wonderful but does occasionally say things that she probably shouldn't when trying to reassure me (like telling me a friend of mine was also late getting her DC vaccinated when I was worried about missing DDs because of a family funeral) but that's a different thread.
She didn't tell me what exactly was discussed/happened or what her following it up means and she probably told me i was right to be concerned/tell her because she knows that i doubt myself and constantly worry that I've done the right thing or not (although I am getting much better)

OP posts:
countrykitten · 31/01/2013 18:46

All of which makes perfect sense. So now the people who think that the victim in all of this is the mad toothy neighbour can bugger off maybe....? And perhaps remember that a baby was bitten!!

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 31/01/2013 18:52

YANBU! I'm about the least PFB first time mum around, and even I think that's fucking disgusting.

nickelbabe · 31/01/2013 18:56

yes, I see that she probably just meant that it was right to raise a concern with her, not that you were right to be concerned.

Sarahplane · 31/01/2013 19:01

wtf crazy bitch. I'd have slapped her, or called the police.

lljkk · 31/01/2013 19:16

I wouldn't call the police. I would keep my distance.

Yfronts · 31/01/2013 19:42

text and say 'biting someone elses child is totally unacceptable and a rubbish way to discipline. I don't parent by biting or smacking and expect others not to bite my child too'

I probably would let her be if she didn't apologise.

bbface · 31/01/2013 19:51

Oh for goodness sakes, I read this early this morning and posted that i was skeptical about the whole incident. Now I read that a Hv has been saying that there are concerns about a neighbours child????

All I can say is Hmm but that doesn't adequately convey my thoughts on this thread.

FutTheShuckUp · 31/01/2013 19:58

Didnt this happen on Emmerdale? With Viv Windsor's child?
Not that im suggesting its far fetched or anything

MarthasHarbour · 31/01/2013 20:31

OP I would be bliddy furious. Keep your distance from this woman, she was bang out of order.

And I can see how the HV conversation went, she was prob saying you were right to raise concerns. I can also imagine the odd one can be a gossip

MrsMushroom · 31/01/2013 20:38

You're right fut!

Original poster
fuckitfuckitfuckit · 31/01/2013 20:53

I don't watch emmerdale and if i knew that a story line similar to this had appeared on it i probably wouldn't have started this thread in case i was accused of having hairy hands.
I don't have hairy hands btw.

OP posts:
Figgygal · 31/01/2013 21:08

Omg I would have gone mad and certainly wouldn't go anywhere near her again

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 01/02/2013 09:27

Maybe the crazy bitey lady saw it on Emmerdale?

Catchingmockingbirds · 01/02/2013 09:53

sarah you would have either assaulted her or reported her for assault? Hmm

ThreadPirateFanjoBeard · 01/02/2013 09:53

I can believe this happened. I had a loon- mother do something similar to my DS when he was about 3, physically SHOVING him. You can't reason with loons. You can however report them and keep your children away from them. although at the time the tiger mother in me wanted to be entirely unreasonable and slap her into oblivion, one of us had to show the children present the correct way to behave--

ThreadPirateFanjoBeard · 01/02/2013 09:54

Oops. Strikeout fail Blush

Zipitydooda · 01/02/2013 13:03

How on earth can biting a baby teach her NOT to bite??? If anything it will teach her to bite.

Absolutely disgusting. I haven't read the other replies but just had to register my disgust with your neighbour. You poor baby!

atthewelles · 01/02/2013 13:12

Jeeze, calm down countrykitten. People are simply saying that all mothers are entitled to have confidentialilty between themselves and their HVs. No one is saying that what she did was okay.

peeriebear · 01/02/2013 13:27

I agree with drjohnsonscat, yes it is awful and reprehensible to bite a baby but, but, but- a lot of people do still think it's how you stop a baby biting. I have two DDs aged 11 and 6 and both times when they had a bitey stage, otherwise-sane people advised nipping them back. My Mum said when my brother was little she bit him back for biting. (she was NOT advising me to do it, just telling me how things used to be!)

AmberSocks · 01/02/2013 13:31

we have a friend whos partener is always saying we should dos tuff like that,she has a nephew who she looks after a lot and she said he bit her so she bit him back and he hasnt done it since.Shes a teacher too.

PickledInAPearTree · 01/02/2013 13:41

I got told to do it by

A social worker
Two teachers
Nursery staff
Hinted at by hv