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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU and PFB? I don't think i was.

226 replies

fuckitfuckitfuckit · 30/01/2013 14:03

I was visiting a neighbour who has a DD a similar age as mine, her DD is 13 months, my DD is 10 months.
The DDs were playing side by side with us sat on the sofa drinking tea, when my DD bit her DD, cue screaming.
Before i had chance to react, my neighbour picked up my DD and said 'no, you don't bite.' and bit her on the arm saying 'see, how do like it?' cue DD crying.
I saw red, and snatched DD back and shouted 'What the hell do you think your doing?' and walked out.
She then sent me a text saying that she was sorry she upset me but babies need to learn and has just sent one saying she's really sorry but she thinks i totally over reacted and that it wasn't that hard a bite and it didn't leave a mark.
I'm still angry at her.
I don't think i was BU but i know I've been a bit PFB before, so wibu? AIBU to not want to see her again?

OP posts:
Waitingforastartofall · 30/01/2013 14:27

You have excellent self restraint cause id have belted her. loon

Bakingtins · 30/01/2013 14:28

scarlet what difference would it have made if the OP's baby was the 13m old?? Confused
An adult biting a child is completely unreasonable. Full stop.

daddyorchipsdaddyorchips · 30/01/2013 14:29

Nicola in Emmerdale nearly went to jail for that. Just saying.

drinkyourmilk · 30/01/2013 14:32

Good grief!! That's assault! Horrible woman. YANBU.
I would text back and tell how unacceptable this is and point out that you could prosecute her for assault.
I would never ever socialise with her again. I would also be seeing what my oh thought.

Original poster
fuckitfuckitfuckit · 30/01/2013 14:33

Text back basically saying that i want nothing more to do with her, she replied saying that she doesn't see why i'm over reacting, that kids need to learn that their actions have consequences. So i text back that she was mental. Blush Not my finer moments but she has really angered me.

OP posts:
BattlingFanjos · 30/01/2013 14:33

Wtaf?! That is just ridiculous! Well done OP for not smashing her face in! Don't think I could have shown such restraint! I'd text back saying "stay the fuck away and do not contact me again. Wtf is wrong with you?!" what a crank!!!

Haberdashery · 30/01/2013 14:33

Bloody hell. YANBU. I would steer clear of her if I were you. She sounds a bit lacking in appropriate boundaries. Biting your own kid would be pretty awful but biting someone else's baby is deranged.

TheHamish · 30/01/2013 14:34

A human bite is the worst non-venomous bite you can receive, I think I can remember from a first aid course, but am happy to be corrected.

That's assault. Who knows what she'll do to the next child that hurts her DD? Bonkers, dangerously bonkers.

BigGiantCowWithAKnockKnockTail · 30/01/2013 14:34

Shock Shock Shock Shock Shock

Please please tell this woman how utterly appalling her behaviour was and warn every other parent that goes near the mad cow.

Does she ever look after other people's DCs?

atthewelles · 30/01/2013 14:34

Crazy behaviour and her defensive texts would make me even more mad.

I wouldn't go to the police, I think that would be an over reaction. I would just have nothing more to do with her.

Nanny0gg · 30/01/2013 14:35

It was a horrible and unnecessary thing to do, and it would be more than understandable if you never spoke to her again, but I do think calling the police would be a slight over-reaction.

beginnings · 30/01/2013 14:38

I would very seriously think about inviting the local constabulary to explain to her on how many levels you were not over-reacting. You don't assault someone else's child! You move yours out of the way and let the other parent deal with it!

My 9 mo old does a great line in hair pulling if she gets too close (she doesn't have much, I think it's envy :) ) but if one of my friends pulled her hair back, I'd remove a chunk of theirs!!

Stay away OP....

HorraceTheOtter · 30/01/2013 14:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

diddl · 30/01/2013 14:40

I also wouldn´t see her again.

I can imagine that I might have overreacted & shouted "no!" too loudly at your daughter.

But at that age, it´s not deliberate, is it?
(And even if it was then biting back still isn´t OK if course)

The thought of biting someone-least of all a baby, makes me feel sick tbh.

FriendlyLadybird · 30/01/2013 14:42

Words fail me. If I were you I would not have anything further to do with her. Ever.

Your poor little girl. She probably doesn't even have teeth, does she?

RobinSparkles · 30/01/2013 14:42

Shock Shock

Are you serious?!? You don't ever bite a child for biting! She's a baby! I would have been fuming, how dare she!

RobinSparkles · 30/01/2013 14:43

YY, your "adult" neighbour probably has more teeth than your 10 month old has, I would imagine!

I can't believe she did that!

waltermittymissus · 30/01/2013 14:44

Text her again. Say:

I was thinking about what you said about people needing to learn consequences for their actions. So, I'm reporting you to the police for assaulting a baby. Thanks for helping me see things clearly. And stay away from me in future.

diddl · 30/01/2013 14:44

How is deliberately biting not assault?

In the first text did she just say "sorry", or "sorry for biting your daughter"?

I´d be seriously tempted to report her-so that she can she that you haven´t overrreacted.

Her poor child.

Loie159 · 30/01/2013 14:44

utterly shocking..... its not so much the biting IMO, although that is awful, it is the fact that she seemed to think it was totally OK to physically discipline another persons child without wondering whether it was her place to do so. I would be furious and unable to see her again., Does that mean in her eyes that if your DD pushed her child over / off a slide etc when they are a bit older that she would do the same thing again? She is horrific and I would stand well back. How can you ever be friendly with someone who thinks its not only OK to bite a baby, but to bite SOMEONE ELSES baby! Total fruit loop. Text her back saying it is not up for discussion and that physically disciplining anyone elses child is never ok. I am totally shocked a well that she tried to tell you it was your fault for overrecting as well!

nickelbabe · 30/01/2013 14:45

YANBU.

you were right to text that you want nothing more to do with her.

what the fuck kind of twat bites a 10 month old Baby?

a baby FFS, they don't understand the difference between right and wrong! they don't even understand what biting is - all they think/know is "ooh, if i close my mouth like this, it goes squish on this arm"

helenthemadex · 30/01/2013 14:50

I cant actually believe that anyone thinks that is an ok to do, I would report her to the police, it is assualt and I dont think it would be an over reaction

what does your dh/dp think? I know my dc father would have gone apeshit

NellyBluth · 30/01/2013 14:51

I'd use WalterMitty's text, though without the police bit - "I was thinking about what you said about people needing to learn consequences for their actions. So, after you disciplined my child using physical force, I don't want anything to do with you again. Thanks for helping me see things clearly. And stay away from me in future."

CailinDana · 30/01/2013 14:52

As someone else mentioned, a human bite is the most dangerous bite you can get short of a venomous snake bite because of the massive amount of bacteria we carry in our mouths. When I worked as a special needs teacher we had to get vaccinations etc protect against the transmission of disease from bites from children and if anyone did get bitten (rare but it did happen) they had to go straight to A and E and have a tetanus shot, antibiotics etc. A grown adult biting a small child is extremely dangerous - had she broken the skin she could have passed on diseases like hepatitis (which you can carry without realising), or STIs like chlamydia. Luckily she didn't break the skin but it would be easy to do it without meaning to with a baby's soft arm.

This seems to be something from the older generation - my FIL mentioned something about biting a child to prevent them from biting. I soon put him in his place!

Original poster
fuckitfuckitfuckit · 30/01/2013 14:55

In the text, she said sorry for upsetting you, not sorry for biting your DD.
I don't have a DP and there's no reason to tell DD's father as he would go apeshit and blame me. (history of DV etc).

OP posts: