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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think i shouldn't have to pay HALF of the holiday, just because i have a child?

415 replies

WhistlingNun · 26/01/2013 14:45

My two friends suggested we should go on a caravan holiday this summer with my 5yo dd (neither of my two friends have children).

We've decided on a self-catering Haven holiday and the total price is approx £450 for the week, including funworks passes etc. Only additional costs would be for food and transport, which we'd pay our own way on when we get there.

Anyway, my friends are expecting me to pay half - so £225 - rather than a third - £150.

They say it's because dd will count towards the price too.

I've just checked how much it would be for me and dd to go alone - on the exact same holiday - and it's still £450 - the same price.

The price is based on size and type of caravan, not how many people are in the group. And since the smallest caravan is 2 bedrooms, it's the same price.

(Hope this is making sense).

Anyway, i'm a bit peed off they expect me to pay £225 and they can just pay £112 each. They've reluctantly agreed to go thirds instead (£150) each, but have said it's just to shut me up, they're not happy about it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
WhistlingNun · 26/01/2013 16:47

Gilmours, i've discussed all scenarios with them at length. This is why i'm sure. And this is why i'm annoyed. They are basing the holiday on price per head. They don't care what the sleeping arrangements are.

I'll take Oddboots point.

If i'd said 'i'm being expected to pay half of the holiday even though me and dd won't have a room', would you all still agree with my friends?

Would you still think me a free loader? Or would they be the free loaders?

Cortana - i use caps because it's quicker than using bold. No patronising intended.

OP posts:
ShipwreckedAndComatose · 26/01/2013 16:48

Lovelyladure your example is not the same to this situation at all!

You were geniunely ripped off.

Op is BU

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 26/01/2013 16:48

Whistling will you answer my question please?

PickledInAPearTree · 26/01/2013 16:48

What point are you making?

Your only angry they want you to pay a contribution towards your own child.

I give up.

Mutt · 26/01/2013 16:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Waltons · 26/01/2013 16:49

I hardly ever venture onto AIBU but this thread is making my teeth itch SOOOO badly.

Just look at the maths, whistlingnun. If your friends had invited two other adults to share the holiday (as I suspect they may well do in future), the cost per person would be £450/4, i.e. £112.50 per person.

Instead, they have invited a 5 year old child as the fourth person. Why should that decision cost them £37.50 extra each?

When your DD was in a travel cot there could reasonably have been a fourth adult occupying the other bed, and therefore it was reasonable to only ask you to pay a third. She is now occupying a bed which no one else can occupy, and the cost of that should be yours, not theirs.

YABVVVVVU. And dense.

crashdoll · 26/01/2013 16:50

They are basing the holiday on price per head.

This sentence just makes me think that you really don't want to pay for your daughter.

Original poster
WhistlingNun · 26/01/2013 16:50

Puds - i would, but it would be a struggle.

Pickled - my point is their reasoning behind why i should have to pay half for using a bed that'd be spare if dd wasn't going.

My point is me and dd could sleep on the floor and they'd still expect me to pay half for accomodation.

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 26/01/2013 16:51

You have discussed this at length with them?

And yet you continue to scrounge and freeload.

I'll be surprised if you have any friends let alone a holiday next year.

HecateWhoopass · 26/01/2013 16:51

Yes. If they had a bedroom each and you and your daughter were sleeping in the lounge area then I'd say it was reasonable to expect a reduction to reflect the fact you don't have s room or private space.
But since that's not the case, what's it got to do with anything?

GilmoursPillow · 26/01/2013 16:51

They probably don't care what the sleeping arrangements are; there are two rooms - one for them, one for you. Sleeping on the sofa/floor/in the bath is irrelevant as it's not necessary when there are enough bedrooms.

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 26/01/2013 16:51

Then don't go!!!

No one is making you!

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 26/01/2013 16:51

Right so they are making your life easier? But your still kicking up a stink? I think your embarrassing yourself.

ModernToss · 26/01/2013 16:52

i've discussed all scenarios with them at length.

Oh dear. It gets worse.

Mutt · 26/01/2013 16:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DizzySometimes · 26/01/2013 16:53

OP, seriously - get over yourself. The fact is, they are NOT expecting you to sleep on the floor, and if you had put that as the title of the thread, you would have been untruthful as you've already said you're having a room for you and your DD. For all you know, they may have decided that they were going to hold firm to splitting the costs in half as you would obviously have the room between the two of you, so stuck with the cost whatever sleeping arrangements you decided to come up with. Perhaps they see you're so inflexible so decided to beat you at your own game?

And I would not say they were freeloaders - I would say that you are looking a gift horse in the mouth as you're so sure you're right by repeating over and over 'but a child doesn't make this holiday more expensive', when you fail to see your friends being there don't make it any more expensive either as you wanted to go anyway!

Stop trying to mainpulate the scenario so that people agree with you when they obviously don't.

If you were a friend of mine, I would have given up and gone on holiday with my friend, and let you fork out the £450 on your own.

DonnaDoon · 26/01/2013 16:53

cortana yes to the supersoakers and op you are being unreasonable, sorry but the kids cost money..lots of..fact!

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 26/01/2013 16:55

My point is me and dd could sleep on the floor and they'd still expect me to pay half for accomodation.

They actually said that? Hmm

You have a room though Confused why shouldn't you pay for it?

Cortana · 26/01/2013 16:55

You didn't bold or capps anything else. Just the point made to me, words like they and child, I understand your DD is a child. It felt patronising although I accept this wasn't your intention, so thank you.

This comes to mind. I think given you have made your point clearly a few times that we are as up to date on the situation as we will ever be. I think if you can't accept that most posters think YABU, it's either time to pay half of the total caravan cost, suck it up and get on with enjoying your holiday. Or stick to your guns and accept that as Anyfucker so wisely pointed out, friends don't raise points like this lightly, and they may not be so forthcoming with invitations or offers to help out in the future.

Stropzilla · 26/01/2013 16:56

So because you're going to struggle to psy you're looking for ways to to make it reasonable for your friends to pay more?

Making you pay half even if you were on the floor is a bit of a non issue since that's not the case.

WhereYouLeftIt · 26/01/2013 16:56

WhistlingNun, your friends offered to come ON A HOLIDAY THAT YOU SUGGESTED, thereby halving the cost to you. They didn't invite you to join them on their holiday; they agreed to come on your to cut your costs.

Original poster
WhistlingNun · 26/01/2013 16:56

Of course i'll be paying for my daughter. i'll still have to feed, entertain her, and get her there and back.

What i don't understand is why i should pay for her to share a bed with me, or a room with one of my friends, or sleep on the floor when the bed was going spare anyway and her presence costs nothing more.

If my friends weren't going, i'd pay the £450 and have two beds spare. But i'd be getting my own room out of it.

My friends pay £112 and could still request their own room. In their eyes, the price has naff all to do with where people sleep.

OP posts:
puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 26/01/2013 16:58

YOUR FRIENDS ARE MAKING YOUR HOLIDAY MORE AFFORDABLE! STOP BEING A SELFISH TIGHT ARSE!

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 26/01/2013 16:59

I am amzed that they are still friends with you

GilmoursPillow · 26/01/2013 16:59

I need to stop coming back to this thread. It's like picking at a scab. I know I shouldn't but...