Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think i shouldn't have to pay HALF of the holiday, just because i have a child?

415 replies

WhistlingNun · 26/01/2013 14:45

My two friends suggested we should go on a caravan holiday this summer with my 5yo dd (neither of my two friends have children).

We've decided on a self-catering Haven holiday and the total price is approx £450 for the week, including funworks passes etc. Only additional costs would be for food and transport, which we'd pay our own way on when we get there.

Anyway, my friends are expecting me to pay half - so £225 - rather than a third - £150.

They say it's because dd will count towards the price too.

I've just checked how much it would be for me and dd to go alone - on the exact same holiday - and it's still £450 - the same price.

The price is based on size and type of caravan, not how many people are in the group. And since the smallest caravan is 2 bedrooms, it's the same price.

(Hope this is making sense).

Anyway, i'm a bit peed off they expect me to pay £225 and they can just pay £112 each. They've reluctantly agreed to go thirds instead (£150) each, but have said it's just to shut me up, they're not happy about it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
GilmoursPillow · 26/01/2013 16:34

I suggested the holiday and said it would be a struggle. Then they suggested we go away together instead, splitting the cost.

When they suggested coming with us and splitting the cost

It sounds like you were planning on going anyway. Them offering to come and reduce your costs should be a bonus, or have I missed something?

scarletforya · 26/01/2013 16:35

I would never dream of asking a CHILD to pay a full share of the holiday, when it costs not a penny more for them being there

Your child would not be able to be there in the first place if your two friends weren't going!

The least you can do is pay your & her way!

The caravan would cost you and DD £450 if you went alone, so your friends are kindly going along each paying for themselves making your holiday possible Now instead of being happy that you can now go at all you want them to also pay for your DD!?

Confused
puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 26/01/2013 16:36

Whistling would you even be able to afford to go on holiday if your friends weren't going?

Original poster
WhistlingNun · 26/01/2013 16:36

Hecate - they're not basing it on bedroom though. This is why i'm struggling to accept i'm being unreasonable. They're basing it on price per person. I could let them have a room each and i'd still be expected to pay half for sharing the living room with dd.

OP posts:
PickledInAPearTree · 26/01/2013 16:37

So if you went with another adult with four kids and had to get an extra room you'd think if fair to pay half then?

Just adults pay?

HecateWhoopass · 26/01/2013 16:38

You're getting a holiday for half what it would otherwise cost you.

Why piss off your friends over 75 pounds?

They are telling you they don't want to sub you

ENormaSnob · 26/01/2013 16:38

I think the only other way is to book a 3 bedder and pay 1/3 each or leave the dd behind and get a fourth adult so you only have to pay 1/4.

Both of these options are fairest to your friends.

PickledInAPearTree · 26/01/2013 16:38

But your not. Wether you do it per ro or per head it's still fair you pay half!

WhereYouLeftIt · 26/01/2013 16:38

WhistlingNun Sat 26-Jan-13 14:45:58
My two friends suggested we should go on a caravan holiday this summer with my 5yo dd (neither of my two friends have children).

WhistlingNun Sat 26-Jan-13 16:07:48
I suggested the holiday and said it would be a struggle. Then they suggested we go away together instead, splitting the cost.

WhistlingNun, can you see that these are two very different scenarios?

Original poster
WhistlingNun · 26/01/2013 16:39

If i had to get an extra room as a result of her children being there, i'd expect her to pay extra.

In my situation, there is no need to pay out for an extra room though. Totally different.

OP posts:
OddBoots · 26/01/2013 16:39

If you started a thread saying that you were going on holiday with friends and they expected to have a bedroom each and for you and your dd to share the lounge but pay half then people would say they were being unreasonable and that you and your dd should have a bedroom.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 26/01/2013 16:40

WHISTLING WOULD YOU BE ABLE TO AFFORD TO GO IF YOUR FRIENDS WERE NOT GOING?

HoratiaWinwood · 26/01/2013 16:41

::gives up::

lovelyladuree · 26/01/2013 16:41

YANBU. I was ripped off like this once. I let a 'friend' book a group holiday to Disneyland Paris and my DS was the only child. At the time of booking kids under 12 travelled and stayed for free. She paid the bill and let us all know what we owed her. I paid the money into her account and looked forward to the trip. On the train, she announces that the bill was divided between most of us, and a couple of her newly married friends who hadn't been able to afford a honeymoon had not paid a thing. Our payments had covered the cost. I had never met this couple and spent the rest of the trip seething, especially when I found out DS and I were sharing a room with my friend and another woman who was a complete stranger to me. I had paid for DS as if he was an adult. Never again, and I suggest you don't go away with these money-grabbers.

HecateWhoopass · 26/01/2013 16:41

So suggest to them that you do exactly that.
Whether its by bedroom or by person matters not.
They are telling you they aren't happy.
They are telling you that you aren't paying your fair share.

You can't force them to agree that your child doesn't count as a person!

BegoniaBampot · 26/01/2013 16:41

I think they sound mean. Would be happy to split it three ways in this situation and as the child is little.

GilmoursPillow · 26/01/2013 16:41

Are you absolutely sure about this, or is this just opinion?

Cortana · 26/01/2013 16:41

Whistling, you don't need to capps key words for me, it's rather patronising, see below.

THEY have offered to subsidise YOUR holiday.

No one is asking your CHILD to pay. They are expecting YOU to pay HALF, as YOU wanted to go on this holiday, with your CHILD.

The cost isn't raised by your friends being there. It is reduced. I suspect in the future YOU will be paying the entire cost for YOU and YOUR DD.

Price per bedroom - HALF of cost should be payed by you. You and DD have one bedroom out of two.

Price per person - you and DD are two people out of a party of four. HALF

If your friends are unreasonable, don't go, if you feel so strongly that you're right, pay the £450 and go just you and DD. If you can't afford this, think about the favour your friends offer while you sit at home, with no holiday.

Catchingmockingbirds · 26/01/2013 16:42

I went on a haven caravan holiday, me, DP, ds, my friend and her daughter. She had her own room, DP and I had our own room and the kids shared. All adults went thirds even though DP and I were sharing. I don't think yabu tbh.

If there are already problems and you've not even left yet, is it really worth going?

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 26/01/2013 16:42

I agree, I would never expect a child to pay for a place on a holiday.

I would expect their parent to pay for them. Your daughter isn't a non-entity, she is a personal who will use water, electricity food and space.

GilmoursPillow · 26/01/2013 16:42

Sorry, meant to C&P I could let them have a room each and i'd still be expected to pay half for sharing the living room with dd. into my post asking if you're sure.

PickledInAPearTree · 26/01/2013 16:43

Why did you start this thread as you won't take anyone's view on board?

Your going to save 75 but if eat my hat if you get a similar offer next year..

You said earlier on you would never expect a child to pay so in theory you should be happy in the senario i described to split between adults.

Wether it's per room, or per head, if works out you should pay half. They are clearly not happy about it, it's obvious why. If I were you I'd either not go or pay more.

ENormaSnob · 26/01/2013 16:43

I can almost taste the resentment from the friends.

Can't imagine what the conversation will be like after a few wines.

It's going to be like holiday hell Shock

DizzySometimes · 26/01/2013 16:44

i have a totally different opinion to the majority of you (and my friends) about whether or not it's fair to charge a child for a holiday which would cost the same even if they weren't there.

The point is: it would cost the same whether a child wasn't there, or whether your FRIENDS weren't there.

And, honestly, it doesn't matter whether they're calculating it by person or room. The fact is, the cost for you comes out as being the same. If they WERE expecting you to sleep on the floor, then you could take issue with it. But, they're not! So, why can't you just agree that the cost is fair even if the method of getting there isn't?! Is it so important for you to be right when they are doing you a favour? Seriously, if you continue to be so inflexible, you may find they don't want to go on holiday with you in future, and I couldn't blame them in the least.

Also, a lot of people don't feel a child should be charged for a holiday - they feel the child's parent should take responsibility for costs incurred by having a child there, and that the costs should be split in a fair way. A lot of people have said to you that they feel it should be split by room (so that the number of people/children wouldn't actually matter), and you're splitting hairs about the fact you don't think that's how your friends calculated it.

Catchingmockingbirds · 26/01/2013 16:45

lovely I'd be raging if that was me!