To feel so upset regarding contact.

[MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong]

Some of you may know my backstory from the nature of my post. I namechanged a while ago and have been trying to put the past behind me and move forward with 5mo DD.
Me and my ex have a rather volatile relationship. He didn't want me to keep DD. since she has been born he hasn't provided physically or emotionally. He pays half the maintainence he should.
I tried to keep him seeing DD, him coming here, me there (2.5 hour drive). Supervised by me.
I don't want or agree with any child been taken away from their father but he is so inconsistent and to put it bluntly useless it had crossed my mind that it may be better if he goes away.
He has had a new girlfriend who seems to have taken priority since when I was 5 months pregnant.
It's now 22 days since any contact with him. He's ignored my attempts to send pictures and updates and is like to know if I am BU by thinking this is not acceptable and letting it upset me.
I'm a bit of a wreck today. I know this is AIBU but please try to be gentle.

I attract the pervs, not sure what about me says, "Dirty Bitch".

But if he calls your a MILF, walk away, because hes a perv.

Ewwww milf I hate that I really do.

Aww Greg, you'll find one. Although now I've been asked on a date I'm not so sure anymore.

Well one date wouldn't hurt would it, Make, something to break up the week. Maybe he has an older brother.

Forgot to comment when you mentioned earlier DD is sitting up, another skill!

Date lined up Skye? Great!

Not yet lol, still trying to get the nerve to send him a message.

DO IT
DO IT
DO IT
DO IT

DOOOOO IT SKYE

He might be your Prince charming.

Lol. I will if Make will

go on then Make, then you both come and give us details on the dates, coz we iz nosy bitches.

Okay okay ill go

In going to a new playgroup this morning- I am terrified

Deep breath before you go in, gorgeous DD, hi+smile, you'll be fine.

ARGH got all the way there and it was cancelled!!

What a faff, oh well at least you got some fresh air. I made a couple of good pals at playgroup, kept in touch for years. .

Thought i might share some news- a filly I used to ride is the first mare to be in foal by Frankel I'm so excited

Even I have heard of Frankel, wow that foal will have some pedigree; worth keeping an eye on!

Some very good news

Ooh, a date. Make and Skye, I'm going to live vicariously through you two if that's ok. So go on your dates and report back. Where did you each meet these men anyway?

Mine was from riding out the horses
The most beautiful man just came to read our gas meter. I thought he was eying me up until I realised I have banana in my hair and sheep pjs on!!!

Very, er, foxy, Make, maybe try a different loook for that date.

Oh you can laugh your heads off at me last week.

1am, two mega hot policemen come to my door, i've left me car door open (dumbarse), so me, with bed ruffled hair, a cow night on, no bra, stubbly legs, omg i was embarrassed, and they were very hot coppers, oh the shame of it.

nightie*

I bet you were the talk of the town

I am really having trouble today trying to find us somewhere to live- I really need our own space.
Problem-
I cannot find anyone willing to accept a rent bond deposit scheme or bloody housing benefit
All estate agents are lovely to me (we go in) until I mention it- then I normally get shown the door

Make i know how that feels, we had to pay double deposit before i could get the house i got now, as if Essex prices arent high enough.

Just keep on going, you'll find somewhere, its just finding the right agent.

So judgemental people are

Make I found my house to rent on Gumtree. Well actually, my landlord found me. When I was looking for this house I was looking on Rightmove, Gumtree and the local forum's property section, I posted 'wanted' ads on Gumtree and the local site. My landlord had just renovated this house and was browsing Gumtree to get an idea of what kind of rental prices were charged in this area, when he saw my wanted ad and contacted me. I've been here 3.5 years . It's a private rental and I deal direct with the landlord, so there was no letting agency fee to pay which saved some money at the time.

Try putting a wanted ad on Gumtree but make it really, really positive so they love you, then just mention the DSS at the bottom. Feel free to send me a pm if you want a hand with it.