To wonder why the fucking world is filled with spiteful rude fucking bitches who are bitchy with every given moment?

[BITCHdumbBJTCH]

My dd was unplanned. She was born a month before our first wedding anniversary. I felt amongst all other emotions really embarrassed I conceived so quickly after marriage. Comments from family members saying things like "oh you couldn't wait could you?!!" And "your little one wanted to come along quickly eh?!!" Didn't help with my embarrassment.

Fast forward 6 years, but dd is 5 now. I just had a phone call from one of my sil's friends, who for some fucking reason has my phone number instead of hers. I haven't seen her or met her for about 10 years. So this is the little gem this woman comes out with whilst laughing uncontrollably :

"I found out you were married and had a baby really quickly. I mean how old is your daughter now?"

Fucking fucking cunt bitch.

All those insecurities I had about having my dd quickly came rushing back. This fucking bitch has 4 sprogs. FOUR. Who the fuck does she think she is? The baby making police? Fucking bitch.

[if I'm being unreasonable just tell me gently, as I have serious pmt right now so might not be viewing things properly]

When Op comes back and apologises for the vile misogyny, then perhaps we can rest assured that she is regretting her "rant"

You need to screen your calls. its done wonders for me.

Seriously, dont let your sil bother you. I dont know why you think it is something to be worried about. Now grab a pillow n scream into it ... ' I have been shagging your brother since day 1 and there is nothing you can do about it!'

you will feel much better about this. btw I am Asian and I dont get the embarassment thing. I do know the shit that can come with in laws though, so vent away.

Thanks for all the lovely replies. Really. All of them.

I suppose on reflection, yes I may have overreacted. I've cut sil and my brother out of my life for the past 8 months but I still get her shitty remarks passed on to me by someone or other. Today I flipped. Rest assured I didn't flip in RL, nor do I flip like this regularly over little things. I'm also starting my period soon, or I'm pregnant (we are ttc; ha! Very apt for the thread), so am obviously not thinking clearly.

Pinot, you make a good point, I have never and will never let dd get wind of how she was unplanned. This is why I ranted on here.

I'm not a misogynist. Don't really need to go into detail about justifying myself on that matter. I've already apologised very early on in thread about the bad language. Let me say it a bit more clearly: I apologise for the bad language particularly aimed at women on the thread.

i dont understand your embarrassment either - it must be a cultural thing, but ASAIK, in most cultures, marriage takes place so you can then have children.

so i still dont understand.

i would have said

"Yes dear, i had sex 5 years ago, grow up::"

Also AnyFucker, you really don't know my sil. This is the same woman who cried when her daughters were born because she wanted a boy. Hardly a model human being, let alone woman.

I assumed that the point of the OP was that the friend was implying she had had a shotgun wedding.

I've probably missed the point though.

I really really have no idea what your problem is op?

Why would you care? You married, had a shag and had a baby.

If this is the worst irritation you face then good for you.

It sounds as if these people annoy you quite a lot and it's not just this specific incident. There's not much you can do about family being pains as you're stuck with them. Just ignore them if you can.

I get that your SIL might be a horrible specimen of womanhood.

Your reaction is waaaay out of line though. And if you really "didn't need to justify not being a misogynist" because of how you are under a different name, then you would be mortified with yourself for falling into the trap of using language that reduces women to the status of an animal. For making a flippant comment and/or using your buttons. Lovely.

pushing your buttons

Good. Glad that's sorted.

I hope you get the result you want btw, (the ttc bit). It shouldn't take too long, what with you being so fertile 'n' all

< braces self >

Everlong

Are you on an ipad? " arses one but" is a classic

OP, no need to feel embarassed at all. But I have a vague feeling that I remember a previous thread of yours - your SIL advising you not to be friends with someone and then making them her friend? If that was you, then I'm so glad you cut her out of your life, she was (and is) poison.

You need to go and stand in front of a mirror and practice making a facial expression that says 'wow, you are clearly a deranged person' and to just walk away - obviously not as easy over the phone.

I think I preferred it when I thought it was a school boy having a laugh. The alternative reality is umm quite scary. I guess I am just taken back by the intensity of the anger.

Could you not have just hung up the phone?

I think you may need some help if this is your reaction.

Was your SIL's friend implying that you must have got pregnant before the wedding? Is this something she would think is shocking because of cultural differences?

DIYapprentice, yes that was me. Thanks for understanding.

Don't understand why this would be a troll thread, it's hardly an interesting topic, if you take away the swearing.

I really really must activate caller ID on my handset. Tomorrow morning I'm calling virgin to do just that.

So, with an arranged marriage, are you meant to refuse your DH intimacy for the first year? I am a bit confused tbh? Not sure what the form is really.

It's Asian politics. She is jealous because your dh is virile.
You should just look smug when you see her, it will wind her up no end.
You have my sympathies.
Sex is a very private issue and she is trying to embarass you, yes, she is a Bitch.
You just need to understand it is jealousy.

Donder, no, she was implying that we must have gone at it like rabbits not caring about contraception or time or day because we'd both newly "found" sex. Quite pathetic and vulgar. Yes it's true. We were newlyweds in love, but some pathetic women from my culture find this hilarious. This is why I was embarrassed when pregnant because certain family members (including sil) had made pathetic comments.

I suspect there's an element of 'innocent virgin bride so naive and stupid that you can't even avoid getting pregnant straight away' attitude coming from SIL and others of her ilk.

It's also difficult for the OP to deal with because of the conservative attitudes you are brought up with, and in a closed community the feeling that you are doing something a bit rude and naughty by having sex. (How else do you get the girls to stay virgins until they're married!)

Combined with a SIL who puts the OP down at every opportunity, implying that she's not good enough to be friends with certain people, and other such nastiness on a frequent basis. So it is highly doubtful that any of these comments are made with any positive feelings, but would be assumed to be (and probably are) made with a bitchy and negative undertone.

(Am I heading in the right direction OP?)