To wonder why the fucking world is filled with spiteful rude fucking bitches who are bitchy with every given moment?

[BITCHdumbBJTCH]

My dd was unplanned. She was born a month before our first wedding anniversary. I felt amongst all other emotions really embarrassed I conceived so quickly after marriage. Comments from family members saying things like "oh you couldn't wait could you?!!" And "your little one wanted to come along quickly eh?!!" Didn't help with my embarrassment.

Fast forward 6 years, but dd is 5 now. I just had a phone call from one of my sil's friends, who for some fucking reason has my phone number instead of hers. I haven't seen her or met her for about 10 years. So this is the little gem this woman comes out with whilst laughing uncontrollably :

"I found out you were married and had a baby really quickly. I mean how old is your daughter now?"

Fucking fucking cunt bitch.

All those insecurities I had about having my dd quickly came rushing back. This fucking bitch has 4 sprogs. FOUR. Who the fuck does she think she is? The baby making police? Fucking bitch.

[if I'm being unreasonable just tell me gently, as I have serious pmt right now so might not be viewing things properly]

[FlouncingMintyy]

I think the finger wagging is more to do with the wording of the thread title and the op?

Fair enough if the op has a horrible sil. But her username does her no favours and neither does the ridiculous amount of swearing in her thread title.

She doesn't say "My sil has been really insulting towards me and I am extremely hurt upset and angry".

She has said "the world is filled with spiteful rude fucking bitches".

And I disagree.

[CaptainVonTrapp]

Is there any chance that she just heard you had a baby and phoned to say 'congratulations'?

Just wondered...

If not, and if its because your family/friends find sex within marriage embarrassing and funny, I would be turning it round and saying something like

"oh yes we couldn't wait to have a baby. Its a good job cos with all the sex we were having it was bound to happen, couldn't keep his hands off me and I couldn't get enough of it, we hardly left the house for a month. Tell me dear SIL how do you cope with all the shagging?"

You get the gist?

[HurriedCurry]

"...couldn't keep his hands off me and I couldn't get enough of it, we hardly left the house for a month. Tell me dear SIL how do you cope with all the shagging?"



Imagining saying that to my sil. And mil. Lol!

[twilight81]

I fell pregnant the first month we MET!! We are still happily together 11 years later.. Never bothered me what anyone thinks.

[cheesesarnie]

'Tomorrow morning I'm calling virgin to do just that' arf.

make love not war op.

[lubeybooby]

Is it just me who, if any supposed ADULT was being all 'teeheehee you had sex' I would answer, yes I have, and it's sooo damn good, seeing as my husband has such an enormous cock... mind you, it's a wonder we ever conceived seeing as I swallow so often'

Watch them stfu and back away slowly, and laugh your arse off...

[NonSwearyName]

OP here. Nc'd to a less offensive name.

I wasn't going to come back to this thread because I am utterly ashamed at the use of my language. I can't even go back and read it. It is disgusting. I don't even like the word "cunt". When i wrote on here i felt like I was being ganged up on By sil and her friend. Unfortunately, that's how I felt at the time and those are the words I used. I could have and should have calmed it down, hindsight is a good thing.

Lots of references to "being embarrassed by sex". I'm not embarrassed. But I hate being made to feel embarrassed. Being asked when I had my daughter and then laughing uncontrollably about how she was born so quickly after marriage is implying that DH couldn't keep it in his pants and I was legs akimbo from day one. I'm sure there are other women out there who don't like their sex life being discussed by other people. When you're in a relationship, of course you're going to have sex and perhaps have children. Why make snide comments about it and make someone feel uncomfortable?

DIYapprentice, your second post is definitely in the right direction. I was made to feel like I'd done something wrong. The fact she's probably been discussing with sil in the past made me angry.

TwitchyCurtains- glad you understand. Sil is my brothers wife, and being how I am, I've even stopped going around to meet them because of her horrible behaviour with me.

All I can say is that I did calm down yesterday, and I've calmed down some more today. DH thinks (obviously) it's ridiculous and that I do take some comments to heart. Although he does agree, it was a completely stupid and rude thing to say to someone when you don't even know them.

I do like all these come backs, may well have to put them to use in the future.

[CaptainVonTrapp]

I'm not embarrassed. But I hate being made to feel embarrassed

No one can 'make' you feel embarrassed if you aren't.

[NonSwearyName]

Ok. Maybe I am uncomfortable about discussing my sex life. I am not embarrassed I have had sex though, because I've done nothing wrong.

[CaptainVonTrapp]

She obviously knows this and its unkind of her to try and make you feel uncomfortable. I think you may have to beat her at her own game.

Of course you've done nothing wrong!

[OxfordBags]

When people are bitchy like it, it's always masking jealousy, IMHO. You and your DH love each other, I'm presuming you had a passionate and fulfilling honeymoon and beyond, you adore your DD, you have fulfilled one cultural requirement by having a child... it's all good, yes? Perhaps she is really envious. When you look at it how I've put it, it sounds perfect. I bet her marriage, and the start to it, is not as happy and sexually fulfilling as yours.

People can only make you feel as bad as you let them. Try to hold on to the much more inportant fact of what a lovely little family you have. If SIL carries on, I would be tempted to point out that she seems alarmingly interested in her BIL's sexual prowess! If sexual feelings are frowned upon in your culture, as you describe, keep emphasising how dodgy it is for her to focus so pervily into your private life. To anyone who brought it up to my face, I would fake concern for them and act like I thought they were talking about the issue because their honeymoons were disappointing, their husbands terrible in bed, etc. (try this, as genteely as you can within your cultural constraints).

[VikingLady]

I've adopted a riposte I read on a thread about large families - it fits very nicely here.

"Well, I just love cock. Can't get enough of it."

If you don't feel that is appropriate, how about

"Yes - turns out pregnancy is caused by sex! Who knew?"

I have used both to straight laced relatives (DH's side, very rude people). I don't come across as someone who would say that, so it really works.

[GrendelsMum]

I really do sympathise, OP. It's just another thing she's thought of to bully you about, isn't it? And the way bullies work is they take something totally innocuous and twist it round to make it seem disgusting. And then getting other people in on her nasty act - no wonder you were so upset.

She's obviously desperate to get one up on you and make the family and friends think that she's the superior one. Is there a reason that she's so desperate to get her self-worth by putting you down? Do you have a good job and a good degree, for example? Is your family perceived to be better than hers?

[NonSwearyName]

Grendel, I have always thought she suffers from an inferiority complex. She is always out to prove she is better than me at everything. She has always been very competitive with me, copying me in everything and trying to out-do me despite the quite big age gap. Her favourite line is "I'll show everyone"...I do have a good degree and had a very good job too. I then started my masters when dd was 3 and I was invited around her house to find loads of her friends with babies and they questioned me why i hadn't had another baby yet. She knew i was having fertility problems. She lied about having a masters in statistics when she married my db. When I asked her some pretty basic questions about stats for my degree module, she had no idea what I was talking about, and just mumbled they do things differently in her country...stats calculations are universal and my lecturer was from the same Country as her! Sorry gone off on a tangent there, but she has always hated me for some reason.

She is a bully. She's horribly twisted and having cut her off I'm still at the receiving end of her shit. I know everyone says just ignore, but it's really hard when you have weeks of good days and then she strikes again and everything just goes bad. Wish there was a way I could get away from her.

[GrendelsMum]

Have sent you a PM!

[PickledInAPearTree]

Fair play for coming back op I'm glad you feel a bit better

I'm sure I've seen you posting before about her putting off new friends?

I hope you find a resolution - it's so hard for you that she makes you feel so rubbish and angry.

It's so hard to know why some people relish picking on others and making their lives hard.

[perfectstorm]

"KateSMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 21-Jan-13 15:47:24
Hi everyone,

Thanks for all the reports. We can assure anyone who might have been worried that the OP is a regular MN and we have absolutely no concerns about her posting history/intentions. Please stick to the guidelines and cool it with the PAs and trollhunting."

But please, do keep breaking the rules on trollhunting, and not bothering to read threads before you comment, if that's how you manage to boost your self esteem.

[rollmopses]

Dearie, OP could very well be a founding member of MN, doesn't change the fact that the opening statement, if you will, is beyond idiotic. One must admit that the collective wailing that ensued could hardly have been more entertaining if one had a particularly dull sense of humor, that is.

[NotGeoffVader]

I went to a wedding years ago where the bride and groom disappeared for an hour between the wedding and reception. Apparently to return their hired car. Which was at a location 10 minutes away from the venue.
They arrived at the reception looking a little flustered.

9 months later their son was born.

Nobody commented!

OP I can understand you being annoyed by people's comments but perhaps next time if you have a phone call like that hang up? Or just say, "I think you'll find that is none of your business".

I have only one DC and am constantly being asked if we're having any more. DH says we are not. (BTW I am old and not likely to be fertile much longer and feeling torn between enjoying the DC I have or trying to persuade DH another might be a good idea. And it took 6 years to conceive).

[SnowLiviaMumsnet]

AHEM

[rollmopses]

One shall exit left....

[perfectstorm]

Rollmopses, I appreciate that you're attempting Dorothy Parkeresque wit.

Unfortunately, you're actually coming across as a rather tragic blend of Hyacinth Bucket and Forrest Gump.

[NippyDrips]

Next time just say, "yes, we had a FABULOUS honeymoon" and give a big wink.

[Ormiriathomimus]

???

Why...just why??