Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Porn porn pissing porn!

294 replies

Lucy411 · 07/01/2013 15:33

Found porn for the 10th time on my partners phone
I have previously broken up with him over it I really can't describe my hate for it
He knows my reaction when I find it he always promises it will stop etc and this time I really don't think I can take him back
I have a 11 mo and I'm 10 weeks pregnant he knew that carrying on would mean him being kicked out and me having baby on my own yet still done it and played the its old trick then admits it hours later

So confused what to do and upset at his disrespect :(

OP posts:
Locketjuice · 07/01/2013 17:22

Oh changed my name btw!

WaspFactory · 07/01/2013 17:23

agree with all saying you shouldn't split your family over this, if you can help it. counselling is a good idea, it could really help you to meet in the middle somewhere.

there's nothing wrong with getting aroused by other men/women, it's weird if you don't, imo. I think he lied to you because you made him with your ultimatum.

there was a thread on here not so long ago about porn and seemingly a lot of women were naive to their partners habits which were covered up by lies.

Amytheflag · 07/01/2013 17:23

OP, how come you don't want him watching porn?

Locketjuice · 07/01/2013 17:24

I hate it,he's cumming over other girls. It's cheating in my opinion

Amytheflag · 07/01/2013 17:25

Ah I see. I don't know how to respond to that! Thanks for clarifying though :)

Locketjuice · 07/01/2013 17:26

Lol sorry, graphic!

Alisvolatpropiis · 07/01/2013 17:27

Do you think men who masturbate without porn are always thinking about their partners OP? Hmm

PollyPeck · 07/01/2013 17:28

Prudish. Try watching together and it might enable him to last longer. Something to bring you together rather than force you apart. It's not the same as having sex with another person

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 07/01/2013 17:28

I fantasise about Gerard Butler other people sometimes, does that mean I'm cheating on DH? Confused

MadamFolly · 07/01/2013 17:29

There are many reasons why people might dislike porn, the OP does not have to justify herself to us!

Her husband has a choice, porn or his relationship. He has chosen porn which is very sad but the OP does not have to put aside her moral code and her feelings of hurt and betrayal just because some people in society think porn is acceptable.

Notice that nowhere on this thread have I posted my opinion on porn because my opinion is not relevant.

Locketjuice · 07/01/2013 17:29

It's in there mind then its not under my nose and going against the one thing I despise!

InNeedOfBrandy · 07/01/2013 17:30

Porn is cheating, really? So if your having sex with your dp and you think of someone else is that cheating to? Or listing after johnny dep is that cheating to? Confused

MadamFolly · 07/01/2013 17:31

If we were in a country where plygamy was considered acceptable and OP was upset that he husband wanted a second wife there would be people on here telling her to suck it up and her marriage is more important than her feelings of hurt and betrayal.

PollyPeck · 07/01/2013 17:31

I guess it wasn't gay porn then

InNeedOfBrandy · 07/01/2013 17:31

Lusting not listing.

Locketjuice · 07/01/2013 17:31

And not at all a prude... Opposite in fact when porn is not involved!

OwlLady · 07/01/2013 17:31

Is he really only lasting that long during sex with you? are you satisifed at all with your sex life?

I am sorry to be so personal but it doesn't sound like a very fulfilling sexusla relationship for you at all, porn or no porn

OwlLady · 07/01/2013 17:31

sorry sexual

KenLeeeeeee · 07/01/2013 17:32

The porn itself isn't the issue, but the lying and complete disregard for the OP's feelings would be the deal breaker if I was in the situation. He's chosen to carry on indulging a desire to watch pornography, knowing full well that he was risking his relationship by doing so. He's made the decision there.

Locketjuice · 07/01/2013 17:32

Why would you be thinking of another man whilst having sex I don't know?

MadamFolly · 07/01/2013 17:34

It comes down to what is more important to him and he has demonstrated the answer to that question 10 times!

PollyPeck · 07/01/2013 17:35

That's the problem with ultimatums. What to do when the other party goes ahead anyway? Better to negotiate a compromise. I'm sure there are worse things that would be a lot more damaging to your relationship

AlistairSim · 07/01/2013 17:35

I don't think you're being unreasonable, OP.

I find porn to be morally reprehensible and could not be in a realtionship with a man who could think that way about women.

Alisvolatpropiis · 07/01/2013 17:35

Okay, so it's porn you don't like. What if you caught him masturbating to a Rihanna music video? Would that be cheating?

I totally get that people are morally against porn, as in, the industry entirely. I don't so much get that it's cheating?

InNeedOfBrandy · 07/01/2013 17:36

Alis it seems IMHO the op has issues with dp thinking about anyone but her.