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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband wants a lie in while we have guests over.

148 replies

Empross76 · 04/01/2013 23:54

A friend if mine, her husband and children are popping over tomorrow morning for a cuppa, catch up and to exchange Xmas pressies for the kids. Just for an hour or so.
My husband has told me he will stay in bed and have a lie in while this happens.
He is not very sociable and never instigates social situations, although he is very witty, entertaining and fun in these situations, and has friends.
He just doesn't see why he should lose the chance for a lie in cos of 'my' visitors.
I disagree - I think if a family pops in to see us then we should host as a family. I will be beyond embarrassed having to make up a white lie about him having a headache or something to keep him in bed.
I think he's being selfish and childish. What do you think? AIBU?!!!!

OP posts:
SirBoobAlot · 04/01/2013 23:57

YANBU. How rude. ExP did this when we were at his parents for Christmas, a friend had come over to see all of us, a friend of his family, so he has known her way longer than me.

I wouldn't lie. No need for you to excuse him behaving like a child.

And I would also be as loud as possible in the hour before they arrive.

Guessing they're not arriving at like 8am?

LauriesFairyonthetreeeatsCake · 04/01/2013 23:58

Don't lie, just say he's in bed. He didn't invite them so he doesn't have to see them.

Did you say to him that you wanted to invite them over as a couple/family?

Personally I don't make plans for dh without asking.

HollyBerryBush · 05/01/2013 00:05

What time are your visitors arriving? 6.30am?

No reason for anyone to be in bed past 7am. (unless they are on shift work) pure idleness.

Original poster
Empross76 · 05/01/2013 00:07

LauriesFairy - didn't ask him. As I said, he's not one for making social plans so I tend to go ahead and sort our social calendar. If it was shyness I'd be understanding, but it's not - it's lazy, rude and anti-social, in my opinion!

OP posts:
ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 05/01/2013 00:07

Holly - what a lot of crap.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 05/01/2013 00:07

Tell him he needs to get up, he's being very rude.

FelicityWasSanta · 05/01/2013 00:09

OP I would want my DH to be up in your situation.

Holly- thank fuck goodness I don't live with you!

ClippedPhoenix · 05/01/2013 00:09

YANBU. I can see why he wants a lie in (I love them) but it's not the right thing to do.

AgentZigzag · 05/01/2013 00:09

Your thread reminds me of one last week about a DH who didn't interact with the OPs SIL.

But if they're only over for an hour, what's the problem.

Your DH is not a sociable person, why would you want to force him into being something he's not?

I wouldn't even mention it, and if they asked just say where he is.

verytellytubby · 05/01/2013 00:10

Can't you delay your friends? I wouldn't let anything interfere with my lie-in's and I'm incredibly social.

Findingmyself · 05/01/2013 00:11

I think it's really rude of him.

Lighthousekeeping · 05/01/2013 00:13

What time are they coming at?

Original poster
Empross76 · 05/01/2013 00:13

We both love lie ins and try to alternate as much as possible. He had a lie in today til nearly lunchtime and his parents are over Sat night so will give us both a lie in on Sun morning. So it isn't like this is a rare opportunity for him!

OP posts:
Original poster
Empross76 · 05/01/2013 00:14

10, prob for an hour or so.

OP posts:
HollyBerryBush · 05/01/2013 00:14

chipping I'm usually up at 4 .... anything after 6am is bone idlenes in my book .

Original poster
Empross76 · 05/01/2013 00:14

That last message was for Lighthousekeeping!

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 05/01/2013 00:16

He's a big lad and doesn't need anyone else telling him what time he has to get up!

Do you tell him when he should be going to bed too? When to have a dump? What he can eat??

chandellina · 05/01/2013 00:17

Can't he just get up at 930 and pull himself together? Not a big sacrifice.

OeufsEnCocotte · 05/01/2013 00:18

Posting on MN at gone midnight and up at 4am - are you Margaret Thatcher HollyBerryBush? Confused

AgentZigzag · 05/01/2013 00:19

Maybe you'd prefer him to be sat there feeling uncomfortable and wanting to be somewhere else when they're round?

You are morally far superior to me getting up at such a ridiculous time 4 am Holly.

My morals are those of an alley cat going on that definition.

tigerdriverII · 05/01/2013 00:20

Give him some slack. This the one time of the year when you can lie in and they are your friends and maybe just maybe he isn't very interested in seeing them. And breath! Why don't you just enjoy your pals? If you can't on your own then they aren't really friends and you should tell them not to come. Don't beat up your poor DP, he has a life too

Original poster
Empross76 · 05/01/2013 00:20

Agent ZigZag - I'm big on politeness and doing the right thing. DH won't do things if he doesn't want to, even if it's the right thing to do. This is a general pattern for him, e.g. always tries to get the kids out of having a bath because he doesn't enjoy giving them, or putting excema cream on my DS because he's wriggly. Or getting DS to brush his teeth cos he struggles. IMO they are things that should be done, need to be done, so just do them! And social situations are the same - just man up and do it! That's what I think, anyway!

OP posts:
TalkativeJim · 05/01/2013 00:22

Take them up to say hello, they can all squash up on the bed and have a lovely chat Grin

Original poster
Empross76 · 05/01/2013 00:22

Agent Zigzag - he won't be uncomfortable, he's brilliant in social situations. He just can't be bothered with them!
Tiger driver - he's had oodles of lie ins over Xmas!

OP posts:
ClippedPhoenix · 05/01/2013 00:22

I can't be with a socially inept person OP, why did you marry him in the first place?