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AIBU?

Husband wants a lie in while we have guests over.

148 replies

Empross76 · 04/01/2013 23:54

A friend if mine, her husband and children are popping over tomorrow morning for a cuppa, catch up and to exchange Xmas pressies for the kids. Just for an hour or so.
My husband has told me he will stay in bed and have a lie in while this happens.
He is not very sociable and never instigates social situations, although he is very witty, entertaining and fun in these situations, and has friends.
He just doesn't see why he should lose the chance for a lie in cos of 'my' visitors.
I disagree - I think if a family pops in to see us then we should host as a family. I will be beyond embarrassed having to make up a white lie about him having a headache or something to keep him in bed.
I think he's being selfish and childish. What do you think? AIBU?!!!!

OP posts:

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complexnumber · 05/01/2013 01:17

"And my sisters boyfriend lies in bed till lunchtime everytime he visits my parents house or on family weekend away regardless of who else is there, plans for the day etc which I think is really rude cos he can't be bothered to say good morning" dylsmimi

Hmm, I'm sure that has some relevance to this particular thread I just haven't quite spotted it yet.

Numberlock · 05/01/2013 01:17

It is in this house on a weekend.

ClippedPhoenix · 05/01/2013 01:22

Depends how old the kids are though

AnyFucker · 05/01/2013 01:27

OP...is your husband already asleep, incidentally ?

maxmillie · 05/01/2013 01:38

I have to admit this happened to me thi Xmas with DP friends and I was really grumpy about having to get up early but it wouldn't have occurred to me to actually have the lie in

AgentZigzag · 05/01/2013 01:40

And now it has occurred to you max, do you wish you had?

CoolaSchmoola · 05/01/2013 01:42

Part of me thinks that if you don't discuss a visit, or at the very least the timings thereof, you can't really complain when the other person opts out.

So many people are saying that the OPs DH is being rude - but is it not also rude to make arrangements, that you expect someone else to attend - without consultation, and insist that they be social on command with your friend, her husband and their kids,even though they had planned to do something else?

It doesn't matter what the OPs DH had planned, be it sleeping or running a marathon - the point is she didn't consult him before she made plans for him.

If the OP feels embarrassed then maybe a quick "is this ok?" timing check would have been the way to prevent that embarrassment.

Astelia · 05/01/2013 01:54

YABU, I think 10am is early for a social visit where you expect the whole family to be up, dressed and the house looking ship shape. What were you thinking? Why didn't you ask him?

I have admiration for a DH who will stand his ground and stay in bed- I would like to do the same but would get up resentfully to entertain my DH's friends and small children. Not that my DH would dream of doing anything like this.

I feel your DH's pain.

maxmillie · 05/01/2013 01:55

Naaah not really, would have been rude. They came at 9.45 tho which I did think was a bit early because "their children get up at 6" - not sure why that should have been my problem!

Damash12 · 05/01/2013 02:13

Rude with a capital R. I doubt you have friends coming every bloody day so yeah tell him to get his arse outbid bed into hear and be bloody sociable.

ClippedPhoenix · 05/01/2013 02:17

of course it's damn rude.

Catchingmockingbirds · 05/01/2013 02:56

Your guests are being unreasonable for visiting so early.

Bogeyface · 05/01/2013 03:04

No reason for anyone to be in bed past 7am. (unless they are on shift work) pure idleness.

dylsmimi · 05/01/2013 03:27

complex because the thread is talking about whether it is rude for the ops Dh to stay in bed I was commenting that as a family we find it rude when a visitor stays in bed till lunchtime instead of interacting but the ops dh is being asked to get up at 10 for a one off visit which is less of an ask so as I had said in a previous post it depends if the visitors are aware the Dh is lying in bed when they have come round.as they may feel like they are intruding
It was just a comparison really
Very sorry if you don't understand why it is relevant - feel free to ignore instead of pulling my post up.

Moominsarescary · 05/01/2013 04:25

I think it's rude, 10 isn't early and it's only for an hour

McNewPants2013 · 05/01/2013 04:29

I do not give up my lie in. to me social activities happen in the afternoon/evening.

mathanxiety · 05/01/2013 04:47

Ten o'clock is taking the piss in a big way. He won't be up til noon because things that are supposed to take an hour always take an hour and 45 minutes.

If the friends were turning up at nine then I would be inclined to say you had arranged something unreasonable without running it past him first.

He is lazy and not willing to be a team player or show a good example to the children of hospitality or basic consideration to his wife, which is more to the point. He should be willing to get over his need for a lie in on this one weekend.

cynner · 05/01/2013 04:52

Well, Holly should be up by now..I have not yet been to bed..

cynner · 05/01/2013 04:54

OP, I like talkativejims idea of bringing everyone into the bedroom and having a Cosy chat round the bed..

Astelia · 05/01/2013 06:27

Yup Holly should be along in a minute...

YellowDinosaur · 05/01/2013 06:51

Too late but...

Why is it his lie in today anyway? He had a lie in yesterday till 12 so it's your turn! Stay in bed till 9.30 after kicking him out to sort the kids. Then get up before your friends come. Sorted.

He is bu to do this but yabu to make arrangements without checking with him if you want him there.

PorridgeBrain · 05/01/2013 06:52

As he had a lie-in today, you should be telling him its hs turn to get up and you will be getting up at 9/9.30 to join him in greeting the guests!

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PorridgeBrain · 05/01/2013 06:53

XPost withYellowdinosaur - great minds :)

Tee2072 · 05/01/2013 06:57

I have four minutes to Holly's deadline...

::rolls over and goes back to sleep::

CheCazzo · 05/01/2013 07:09

I don't believe Holly said not being on MN by 7 is bone idleness did she?
I envy you people who can lie in bed - really I do. I wake up and I have to get up and have never been any different. The only time I sleep beyond 7 at the latest is if I'm ill.

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