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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To return our cat to the rescue home we got her from?

216 replies

DreamingofFour · 03/01/2013 08:56

Our 10 year old cat has always been shy and twitchy, which we put down to a hard life before we got her from the Cat Rescue Home 3 years ago. But since we moved house six months ago she has become a bit of a nightmare. She keeps weeing & pooing all over the new house, and despite our best efforts (putting out cat lit if she wants it, helping her thru cat flap etc) she seems to be getting worse. Now she is really jumpy and even more shy. We have taken her to the vet, who said there was nothing physically wrong but wondered if it was psychological and should she have Prozac. At the same time we are dealing with our youngest waking up every night, all the kids sick, work etc etc so we don't have the capacity to be cleaning up the sofa from cat wee/poo every day.(The latest spot she chose). Given that she isn't very happy, would it be ok to return her to the cat rescue home where I suspect she would be happier?
Anyone else been in this situation?

Thanks for your help

OP posts:
SparklingSnow · 04/01/2013 18:02

Posters who are saying that it's acceptable to have the cat put to sleep.

seeker · 04/01/2013 18:36

Putting an animal to sleep is not cruel.

Keeping a cat alive when it can no longer keep itself or it's environment clean is. As anyone who knows anything about the nature and instincts of cats will know.

SolidGoldFrankensteinandmurgh · 04/01/2013 18:44

Circumstances change, though. What was once manageable becomes unmanageable for a variety of reasons. People have to move house to rented premises that won't allow pets; people who have dogs and once3 worked PT sometimes have to change their working hours, people who had pets before DC suddenly find that the DC are either allergic to the pets, really afraid of them or can't treat them properly (or the pet feels sufficiently displaced by the child to become aggressive towards the childs). Some of the whinyarses on this thread remind me of antichoice whinyarses who think that terminating a pregnancy is OK as long as your reasons are 'good enough' by their standards when the fact is it makes no difference to a foetus - and none to an animal that is being either rehomed or euthanized. That you don't want to continue in your current situation is reason enough to change it.

SparklingSnow · 04/01/2013 19:39

Seeker, putting a cat to sleep just because the cat has some problems is disgusting.

SparklingSnow · 04/01/2013 19:41

If an animal has a terminal illness and would be suffering in pain, that's a whole different situation. But for someone to put an animal down just because they see him/her as an inconvenience is disgraceful.

stookiesackhouse · 04/01/2013 20:08

There are some total arses on this thread.

To clarify, those who are saying the cat is inconvenient, get rid, it's only an animal.

NaturalBaby · 04/01/2013 20:18

I was beginning to wonder if some posters had any idea what they were talking about.

The cat cage idea sounds perfect. My cat (who has had very similar issues) has our loft room to escape to, as soon as our dc's are all asleep he comes downstairs and has the whole house to himself. He's always been an indoor cat so living outdoors wasn't an option.

Do rescue centres really put cats to sleep if they can't be rehomed?? I'm pretty sure the cats protection don't (where our cats came from) and was aware that some dog rescue centres do.

HazleNutt · 04/01/2013 20:23

True, if you do get rid of the cat, it probably does not matter to her if this is after you have tried everything and think it's the best for the cat or when the cat simply became a bit of an inconvenience. However, obviously the person who believes pets are disposable if they are not that cute and convenient any more, is more likely to get rid of the cat and to add to the number of pets in shelters.

socharlotte · 04/01/2013 20:30

Why is it disgusting or cruel to put a cat to sleep.It won't know anything about it.It has no hopes and dreams to fulfill before it dies.
stop projecting human thoughts and feelings on to an animal!

stookiesackhouse · 04/01/2013 20:31

socharlotte - are animals lives disposable then?

SparklingSnow · 04/01/2013 20:36

socharlotte, you sound like such a lovely, kind person Hmm

gordyslovesheep · 04/01/2013 20:37

exactly - just kill a pet once it becomes too hard to look after - I would ban people with that attitude from keeping pets

a bit of wee and poo is not going to kill the OP - once all options have been tried rehoming may be needed but this cat hasn;t even been given basic help to adjust which is down to lazy owners

gordyslovesheep · 04/01/2013 20:37

exactly - just kill a pet once it becomes too hard to look after - I would ban people with that attitude from keeping pets

a bit of wee and poo is not going to kill the OP - once all options have been tried rehoming may be needed but this cat hasn;t even been given basic help to adjust which is down to lazy owners

SparklingSnow · 04/01/2013 20:39

gordys, I hope that no animal ever ends up with some posters on here! The poor animal wouldn't stand a chance with them.

seeker · 04/01/2013 20:55

"Seeker, putting a cat to sleep just because the cat has some problems is disgusting."
You obviously know nothing about cats.

marriedinwhite · 04/01/2013 21:49

I've just remembered a documentary I once watched about a family here in Putney whose cat was involved in a dreadful hit and run and last all control over bladder and to some extent bowels. I think the DH was a banker and had enrepreneurial aptitudes and invented nappies for incontinent cats.

It sounds slightly mad I know but could th OP google and research and cd this be a solution.

Seeker - you are too "royal" to be flamed but I reserve the right to disagree with you on many occasions.

Kentish maids (you might be a Maid of) must always stick together - even in disagreement.

SparklingSnow · 04/01/2013 21:49

And you obviously do not have a heart.

SparklingSnow · 04/01/2013 21:53

So, Seeker, you are basically saying that it's fine for cat owners to be lazy and irresponsible.

And that's putting it mildly.

marriedinwhite · 04/01/2013 21:59

I've seen many of Seeker's posts. Seeker and I disagree on very much but Seeker is a caring person. Seeker is being pragmatic and even as a "cat" person I can see that.

We faced a difficult decision, not dissimilar to the OP's and hand on heart we had tough choices ahead if we hadn't had a lucky break via the vet. We may have been at an adv because the cat had had the same vet for 11 years and we had developed a gd relationship with him and he helped us when the chips were down.

marriedinwhite · 04/01/2013 22:03

Sod the litter tray. Anyone want to join forces and found "Catsnet". (Grin)

seeker · 04/01/2013 22:12

So it's better for an animal who is driven by instinct to be clean to be forced to live a life where it can't help itself peeing and pooing where it knows inn the heart of it's being that it shouldn't than for it to be, without pain or fear, put to sleep? Why, exactly? Because it's human owner is a coward?

seeker · 04/01/2013 22:13

Thank you, marriedinwhite-I think!

SparklingSnow · 04/01/2013 22:15

The point is that the OP hasn't bothered to try out many suggestions which could help the cat. Many people have pointed this out.

SparklingSnow · 04/01/2013 22:18

marriedinwhite - I read your post about your cat and you did what was best for your cat. Your cat was obviously well loved and you did the right thing.
You were doing what any responsible cat owner would do.

redwallday · 04/01/2013 22:24

It's the stress of the move. You really need to restrict her to one small room and do so until she is totally at ease. Then allow her a bit more space and reintroduce her to the house slowly. Remove anything she can damage. I have two nervous cats and recently had an extension done which meant the house a wreck, builders in site and having to move to my mothers for several weeks. It's hard but it's not impossible.