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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To return our cat to the rescue home we got her from?

216 replies

DreamingofFour · 03/01/2013 08:56

Our 10 year old cat has always been shy and twitchy, which we put down to a hard life before we got her from the Cat Rescue Home 3 years ago. But since we moved house six months ago she has become a bit of a nightmare. She keeps weeing & pooing all over the new house, and despite our best efforts (putting out cat lit if she wants it, helping her thru cat flap etc) she seems to be getting worse. Now she is really jumpy and even more shy. We have taken her to the vet, who said there was nothing physically wrong but wondered if it was psychological and should she have Prozac. At the same time we are dealing with our youngest waking up every night, all the kids sick, work etc etc so we don't have the capacity to be cleaning up the sofa from cat wee/poo every day.(The latest spot she chose). Given that she isn't very happy, would it be ok to return her to the cat rescue home where I suspect she would be happier?
Anyone else been in this situation?

Thanks for your help

OP posts:
msrisotto · 03/01/2013 16:25

It's just an animal

It's only a cat

Now i'm not one for equating pets to children, but I don't view their lives as disposable and those attitudes displayed above are absolutely vile.

FierySmaug · 03/01/2013 16:26

Yanbu. I'm with HDee on this one. If it's getting too much, then it's perfectly acceptable to take it back to the cat rescue.
If I was in your position, I wouldn't think twice about getting rid, especially as I have children. I couldn't stand cleaning up cat wee and poo on a daily basis, it's vile and would drive me mad.
It's just a cat, not a child, and can be re-homed.

KellyElly · 03/01/2013 16:36

Now i'm not one for equating pets to children, but I don't view their lives as disposable and those attitudes displayed above are absolutely vile Agreed. I think judging by the attitudes I see frequently on these sort of threads, animals who have owners who see them as part of the family and commit to looking after them for their whole lives (not sacking them off when they become too inconvenient), are very lucky. A nation of animal lovers seems to be a bit of an overstatement.

HDee · 03/01/2013 16:41

I don't think their lives should be disposable. For example, my shih-tzu no longer matches our decor, but we still keep him. But when he starts making everyone's lives unpleasant, it will be time to send him on his way.

I'm not sorry to say that an incontinent animal is never going to be part of our family.

msrisotto · 03/01/2013 16:43

HDee you said:
A pet has to give some degree of pleasure, and when mine fails to do that (hopefully when he is old and senile) he will be PTS.

You view their lives as disposable. I don't mean to implicate the OP in this btw as she only said they'd consider rehoming the poor thing.

GrumpySod · 03/01/2013 16:44

If cat is soiling everywhere all the time it is not happy in OP's home and that alone suggests a compelling case for finding it a home better suited to ITS needs.

Paiviaso · 03/01/2013 16:45

I am also very saddened by the "it's just a cat" comments. Sad

HDee · 03/01/2013 16:45

I'm just thinking, times like now, where I am relaxing on my bed, listening to my children have a disco in the front room, would be impossible with a pet whose bowels let loose without warning. I'd have to be constantly on my guard, ready with the cleaning equipment, just-in-case.

The alternative would be to shut away our pet, who has been part of our family for years, in an area that can be easily mopped/hosed down. This situation would be far more traumatic for our dog than just putting him to sleep, surely?

HazleNutt · 03/01/2013 16:46

10-year old cat with problems re-homed? Very unlikely. One of our cats also peed on the bed and sofa for several months and one of the dogs pees when she is excited or scared. Annoying as it is, it happens, they're still our pets and I haven't even considered getting rid of them.

Feliway and why not prozac as the vet recommended.

Justforlaughs · 03/01/2013 16:47

Well I'm not an animal lover, hence I have no pets and proud to say so. I think our general attitude that animals have been put on the planet for our entertainment is vile. The logical conclusion to that is that we shouldn't be keeping pets at all, animals should left in the wild where they would live a natural life and a natural life span. Once you start treating animals as commodities to enhance your own life (which is what a pet is) then you start down the slippery slope of when that commodity becomes an inconvenience.

msrisotto · 03/01/2013 16:48

No, if you're determined not to make an effort to find out what is causing the potentially reversible anxiety then take him to a re-homing place that won't put healthy animals down. Have a little compassion! It isn't a case of living in your house or dying!

Paiviaso · 03/01/2013 16:50

The OPs cat is not incontinent; incontinence is the inability to physically control urination. The cat is simply going to the bathroom in places the OP doesn't like, likely do the stress of moving. It is a situation that can likely be rectified.

SparklingSnow · 03/01/2013 16:51

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PeachActiviaMinge · 03/01/2013 16:54

Yes I do appreciate that HDee Grin

My dog has recently been peeing the behaviourist and vet both agree its due to the fact I'm pregnant and the changes are hard for him (I.e having to sleep downstairs) he even peed on DD's duvet while she was staying at her DGM's I didn't for a second think of putting him to sleep or rehoming him. Instead when I got up in the morning and he was shaking in his basket afraid of being told off I made a fuss of him and just cleaned it up. Its not his fault he's afraid we rehomed him after he was bounced around several people the first lot got rid of him when she fell pregnant so I can understand his fear even DH who really isn't an animal lover would never consider having him PTS or rehomed for incontinence.

Go find Fabs "I think this will be Fabcats last thread" thread in the litter tray and look at everything she has done for her cat who tends to be incontinent is very old and needs regular vet treatment now thats how we should be caring for our pets the amount of love she shows her cat really makes me hope that more people could think like she does.

PessaryPam · 03/01/2013 17:00

PeachActiviaMinge maybe you could take it in?

PessaryPam · 03/01/2013 17:06

gordyslovesheep Pam you are making no sense what so ever - sorry

Oh I am, you just don't like what I say.

gordyslovesheep · 03/01/2013 17:09

no I actually didn't understand a word of your last post to me as it made no sense - hth :)

Squirrelface · 03/01/2013 17:18

If the problems started when you moved house, then presumably this has unsettled the cat. She might be scared of other cats outside, or noise from building work too? If possible I would keep her in one room, with a litter tray, no soft furnishings and ideally no carpet, so it's easy to clean and doesn't tempt her to pee/poo in inappropriate places. Provide a box or bed out of the way, where she can feel secure, and try the feliway recommended by others. If she starts using the litter tray, then gradually give her access to more rooms. I definitely wouldn't give her the run of the house until she has got back into the habit of using the litter tray. Also some cats are quite fussy about the type of litter, or how often you change it.

I can understand you must be tearing your hair out with this, but it sounds as if maybe she needs to feel more secure, and reducing her territory to a smaller quieter area might help.

alistron1 · 03/01/2013 17:38

The cat is distressed by the move and changes. She's trying to mark her territory. Cats aren't idiots and she knows that what she's doing is 'wrong' but she can't help it.

As a pp said, you need to work on making her feel more secure - hard work for you but less distressing for her than returning her to rescue where she will not be rehomed.

This is part of being a pet owner. It's not all purrs and stroking.

PeachActiviaMinge · 03/01/2013 17:52

Yes because the cat would be oh so happy being shuffled about again into a house with a dog breed bred to have a very high prey drive for small furry animals. Hmm You really are proving yourself very intelligent. Smile

ComposHat · 03/01/2013 18:13

I think to say 'he will not be re-homed' is a bit absolute - why not speak to the shelter and see what their policy is and the likelihood of him getting a new home?

I don't think that it should be the first course of action and there are plenty of other things you can try before it gets to this stage.

We actually went out looking for an older cat when we got wee Poppy (we think she was about 8 or 9) and she had been living at the shelter for some six months.

PessaryPam · 03/01/2013 18:25

OK I have decided that there are a lot of strange people on here who think that subjecting small children to a life of living in a stinking house with a cat that shits and pisses everywhere is reasonable. I think it's child abuse, but obviously cats are far more important. Talk about 1st world problems. And all those holier than though cat lovers, why not step and offer to have the thing. Put your money where your judgemental mouths are. The OP has tried really hard and has failed so cut her some slack.

SparklingSnow · 03/01/2013 18:33

And I have decided that there are a lot of heartless, cruel people on this thread.

People need to think properly before taking on a pet so they don't keep getting rejected.

PeachActiviaMinge · 03/01/2013 18:54

The OP has not tried "really hard" hence the advice offered on here! Maybe in your little world hardly any effort is needed to have tried really hard but for most people its a case of exhausting all possibilities including those offered on here before giving up and having tried really hard.

Corygal · 03/01/2013 18:55

"...to all those who think it's acceptable to inflict feline shit and urine on small children in their own home."

What about the shit and piss of babies and small children... in other people's family homes, the bus, the train and shops?