To be mad with my friend and want to end our friendship altogether ?

[thingsthatrhymewithorange]

My friend has had three terminations in the past 5 years.
After each one she has said she never wants to go through it again
She hasn't waited to have sex for the 2 weeks your supposed to, to prevent infection the past two times, therefore risking getting pg again.

She phoned last week to say she thinks she may be pg again as she has been having unprotected sex since she came off the injection about six months ago.

I wanted to hang up on her I was so angry. She's an idiot and i cant be arsed with her anymore.

WIBU of me to try and drift away from her She's been such a twat I don't know if i can hold my tongue any longer. So its either say what i think and loose the friendship or try and distance myself and save the arguement.

The bupa health leaflet doesn't seem to be saying that.

I suppose this is the gulf between 'pro' and 'anti'. I will simply never understand why taking the pill is not seen as the moral equivalent of an abortion. You are still preventing a life coming into being. Indeed, I had thought that the view of the catholic church - both practice is sinful, every sperm is sacred etc.

www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/contraceptivecoil.htm

Sorry on iPad, so if a link is not clickable I can't cut and paste. Well probably I could but I don't know how.

But even if I am wrong about the coil, why is contraception so morally superior to abortion - apart from potential drain on NHS. It's not a traumatic or difficult procedure if carried out early enough and some forms of contraception have unpleasant side effects.

I'm not sure if the OP meant this to become a discussion about the rights or wrongs of abortion or more in that her friend seems to have adopted a set of behaviours which in the OP's mind doesn't stand in line with behaviours she considers acceptable within their relationship, be that abortion, drinking, smoking or whatever.

There is still debate over when 'life' begins, which no one can ever 'prove' one way or another. I watched a horrific pro-life video once that showed an ultrasound of an abortion of a foetus of 9 weeks... I will never forget it. I won't post details as it could upset some readers but it completely changed my mind on the topic.

It effects many women deeply - not everyone clearly but many and a counselor told me it's the most common cause of depression of women in their 20s. It also carries a risk - premature delivery of subsequent pregnancies and more.

Well 'if' being the operative word there Spero. The difference I suppose is that with preventative BC there is no room for ambiguity. There is no PG. With abortion there is always the thorny issue of when does life actually start, and how soon can a foetus think, feel pain, etc. I don't know the answers and I don't wish to get into all that on this thread, because even if the answer is from Day 1, (which I doubt) for some people abortion is the right and the only thing to do. However, I don't think it's something that should ever be done lightly, while we have to bear that in mind. Not when there are so many other alternatives, like safe, simple, readily available, free, preventative birth control.

it's the most common cause of depression of women in their 20s. It also carries a risk - premature delivery of subsequent pregnancies and more.

Sources?

And when I say 'not to be done lightly' I don't think that suddenly everyone should start having the babies that they didn't plan or want, on the basis that abortion might be cruel. I think that unplanned babies are often a disaster and many should not be born, in certain circumstances.

But what I really think is that lots of people ought to take preventative birth control a bit more seriously to start with.

I don't know, I had counselling to help me decide what to do when I found out I was pregnant, this is what I was told.

The op got her answer very early on but I don't see the problem if the thread develops.

Life of course begins at conception. But for me the distinction is when can that life survive independently from the mother. Until that time I don't think anyone has any right to determine what happens apart from the woman in question.

And while I accept that for some women, an abortion is horribly traumatic and stays with them for ever, I think there is a real danger that an assumption is made that this is true for ALL. And that clearly isn't true as several of us can attest on this thread.

I had counselling to help me decide what to do when I found out I was pregnant, this is what I was told.

And which organisation provided this counselling?

Always asking - I know what a 9 week old foetus looks like. I knew when I had an abortion. What's your point? That if I knew it had fingers and toes etc I wouldn't have done it?

I went to a 'care confidential' centre in my city.

I have found a study carried out by Coleman titled "Abortion and mental health: quantitative synthesis and analysis of research published 1995?2009" which says that women who had undergone an abortion experienced an 81% increased risk of mental health problems.

Again, of course this doesn't mean every woman becomes depressed as a result, but it can be a highly traumatic and stressful route, I have never heard of anyone becoming depressed due to using birth control but know a couple of people who seriously regret abortions (and a few who don't). I guess it is hard to tell how you will feel about it until afterwards, maybe you expect to feel relieved and actually feel regret, maybe the other way around. Either way, I am seriously questioning why op's friend is putting herself in this situation over and over again.

Spero I said I wouldn't post details as it could upset some, but my point was there is debate over when life begins and for me this particular video changed my views on when this was - not due to it's 'baby like' appearance but due to things I don't think some women would want to read.

Life begins when sperm meets egg. The zygote forms. Any other view is simply illogical. You can't say life begins! Just because the foetus resembles a baby.

Thus I continue to struggle with view that contraception is morally superior to abortion. By preventing sperm from meeting egg, you prevent a life forming.

God has 'views' on that as I understand it.

But I clearly said it wasn't due to it's appearance, but factors such as we cannot know when it feels pain and how aware it is. The video appeared to show a distressed foetus, and I grew uncomfortable with the idea of abortion as an option for me. I fear we are getting very off topic!

'feeling pain' cannot be the definition of life.

No sorry that's not what I meant, had a few . But my point was I see a big difference between abortion and taking BC, abortion being a more 'drastic' and sometimes unnecessary option. Continued abortions due to carelessness seems cruel if the feotus feels pain, which none of us can know.

Do you believe abortion should be used as contraception? Continuously?

With regard to the horrifying facts about 9 week old foetuses that you're keen to protect us all from, may I suggest you read this.

Watch it for yourself if you want

I just don't want to post details that someone who doesn't want to read then does, I'd be pretty pissed off.

always really, you are basing your views on a video that was made nearly 30 years ago?

please

it's xmas

could we not do this ?

today..or any day ?

Has your friend been with the same partner during the time she's had 3 terminations?

Does he/they take any responsibility, or is it just her who provokes your ire?

Is it that silent scream movie?

May I politely suggest that anyone who finds abortion really distressing, does not come to read and post on a thread which is about someone who has lots of abortions?

I would like to discuss what I am interested in on any day of the week, given that I am not a Christian and thus do not celebrate the birth of Christ or even the giving of boxes.