To be mad with my friend and want to end our friendship altogether ?

[thingsthatrhymewithorange]

My friend has had three terminations in the past 5 years.
After each one she has said she never wants to go through it again
She hasn't waited to have sex for the 2 weeks your supposed to, to prevent infection the past two times, therefore risking getting pg again.

She phoned last week to say she thinks she may be pg again as she has been having unprotected sex since she came off the injection about six months ago.

I wanted to hang up on her I was so angry. She's an idiot and i cant be arsed with her anymore.

WIBU of me to try and drift away from her She's been such a twat I don't know if i can hold my tongue any longer. So its either say what i think and loose the friendship or try and distance myself and save the arguement.

Believe whatever you want to believe about abortion. As long as you don't try to impose your views on others or abuse them for having different views, I don't care what you think.

I thought the replies were very clear. You don't like this woman, you are disgusted by her behaviour. Of course it is not unreasonable to not want her in your life.

YANBU.

I am anti abortion unless in extreme circumstances but I don't hate people who have abortions. However to me there are a few issues here I would be hurt by.

1. She does something you find reckless yet you stick by her and yet when you do something that she equally doesn't agree with, she doesn't support you.
2. Fair enough she has a termination but it is becoming a habit now which can have multiple problems including infections, stds, possibility of not being able to get pregnant when and if she wants to in the future and other such things. She isn't taking care of her body at all.
3. I know a baby isn't classed as a living, breathing thing unless it is born but you are destroying a living being (from 12 weeks plus especially, have feelings) over and over again. That's cruel to me and morally ambiguous at best.

These things and the fact she doesn't seem to even try to see your point of view (doesn't have to agree with it) would make me not want to be her friend.

If I had a friend who honestly wanted to have a termination and begged me to go although I'd be against it I'd want to support her. If she asked me for the 4th or 5th time my sympathy would run out. Why on earth wont she learn from her lessons? She doens't like contraception, too bad. I would've thought the procedure for an abortion which can be uncomfortable at best, would be worse anyway.

A very selfish woman, in my opinion.

i could never be friends with someone that used abortion as a birth control method. its irresponsible. contraception isnt only there to protect against pregnancy... its to protect againts sexual infections etc. its easily available so there is no excuse imo. also she could be passing on anything to other people

i had an abortion when i was 22. i was raped (was on the pill though) and decided it was the best thing to do. i have since regretted it but thats my issue, no one elses.

me and dh have been ttc for nearly 4 years now, its heart breaking and killing me and that is another reason why i couldnt be friends with someone like that. however, if it was a genuine mistake/accident/wrong timing/whatever then i would support someone through it if they needed me too.

And yes, good point about the NHS resources.

You might not want to be friends with her because of our own views in abortion, or because she is too emotionally draining and that is of course your choice.

Some of the views on abortion here are lacking in logic. If it's morally ok to have one abortion, and kill one foetus, then it's morally ok to repeat that action. You can't say it's ok to murder once, as long as you don't do it again.

Some of the views on abortion here are lacking in logic. If it's morally ok to have one abortion, and kill one foetus, then it's morally ok to repeat that action. You can't say it's ok to murder once, as long as you don't do it again.

I'm inclined to agree.

I also agree that OP has every right to distance herself from this friend if that's what she wants to do.

So, it's three strikes and you're out?

What if you abort triplets? Does that count as one, or does it instantly propel you into the 'irresponsible' camp?

If you accidentally ran over and seriously injured a cat it might be morally justifiable to run over it again to put it out of its misery. It would not be morally justifiable to continue mowing down cats, however.

Don't be facetious Can.

I don't think it's a facetious question.

If you're going to impose some sort of statistical morality on the subject, it's something you should consider.

Hardly a good analogy - running down the cat is presumably not actually a choice which achieves something, ie - not becoming a mother in a few months.

But since you asked, the triplets would count as one, because it would be one mistake/incident that resulted in three foetuses.

YANBU. I have a friend that has had a similar number for the same reasons. I want to slap her.

I tend to feel a bit Lady Bracknell about it. To have one abortion is sad and unlucky, 5 however is sheer carelessness.

I don't think it should ever be used as a form of contraception.

Cats are not human and the same moral rules do not apply. We do not put down humans who have a broken leg because their owners can't or won't pay the treatment costs.

maybe she wouldn;t be having numerous abortions if the men she was sleeping with had a care for THEIR health and used condoms

What would be a better solution? Force her to have numerous unwanted pregnancies

obviously numerous terminations is far from ideal but ffs - stop being so judgy - that's NOT a solution

How about if the woman was raped as a young teenager and didn't understand the facts of life, the second was human error and the third was a genuine contraception failure?

Would that woman be 'out'?

What is abortion for if not birth control? Surely that's ALL it is?

No, it's a huge moral issue which all women grapple with and regret horribly... All of them..

Urgh.

Birth control - 'Voluntary limitation or control of the number of children conceived, especially by planned use of contraceptive techniques." Dictionary of English language.

Birth control is supposed to PREVENT conception.

No, I think it is a good analogy actually.

Accidental PG = accidental running over of cat. You may or may not have been at fault, perhaps the cat was black, it was dark outside, it had no collar on, you didn't see it. Perhaps you took just one chance with no BC, with disastrous consequences.

Seriously injured cat = unwanted baby = big problem that needs an immediate solution.

Putting cat out of its misery = abortion = unpleasant, thought-provoking way of solving problem, but problem solved nonetheless.

Deliberately driving recklessly through a field of cats every month for the next year will result in yet more injured cats, however, so best not to do that, otherwise people will start to think you are some kind of cat killing bastard, which =

continuing to wantonly have unprotected sex will eventually lead to more unwanted PGs however, so best not to do that, etc.

I hate to say it, but I value the cat more than a foetus.

I'm getting annoyed with the what if's. Using abortion as a contraceptive is wrong is it not? Don't know why people are getting caught up with technicalities. we are not talking about a woman who has been raped, had multiple pregnancy or contracpetion failure are we?

How about if the woman was raped as a young teenager and didn't understand the facts of life, the second was human error and the third was a genuine contraception failure?

We are responding to the op who has said her friend is not bothered/has been careless all times.

things you have had 3 unwanted pregnancies too, you could have prevented them, I think I would have been so paranoid after the 1st one I would have refrained from having sex until I had tests or used the pill and condoms. The only difference really between you and your friend is the outcome of the pregnancies this is why I think you are just trying, and managing, to stir up a debate about abortions.

Regardless of your stance on abortion, this woman is repeatedly behaving in a way she knows you are uncomfortable with and expecting you to just suck it up and deal with it anyway.

She is an emotional drain on you, not to mention medical resources. You would not be unreasonable to end the friendship if this is an issue for you. Do you get anything positive from it?

For what it's worth, I think the abortion stance is often a large spectrum. I consider myself pro choice and would defend to the hilt any woman's right to have one. It doesn't mean every situation will always sit comfortably with me. Life is just not that black or white to me.