To be mad with my friend and want to end our friendship altogether ?

[thingsthatrhymewithorange]

My friend has had three terminations in the past 5 years.
After each one she has said she never wants to go through it again
She hasn't waited to have sex for the 2 weeks your supposed to, to prevent infection the past two times, therefore risking getting pg again.

She phoned last week to say she thinks she may be pg again as she has been having unprotected sex since she came off the injection about six months ago.

I wanted to hang up on her I was so angry. She's an idiot and i cant be arsed with her anymore.

WIBU of me to try and drift away from her She's been such a twat I don't know if i can hold my tongue any longer. So its either say what i think and loose the friendship or try and distance myself and save the arguement.

YouOld has said exactly what I was planning to.

I am 100% pro choice. However, I think women who use terminations as a form of birth control are awful.

I had a friend who had a termination then fell pregnant again three months later and had a second termination, immidiatly after she continued having unprotected sex with more than one person. Unsurprisingly she fell pregnant again, less than two weeks after her second termination.
They refused to do another termination for health reasons, which she fought for months, she then unsucsessfully attempted to perform home terminations. Eventually she accepted that she was having a baby. Unfortunatly after he was born she chose to neglect him and he was eventually taken into care at 7 months old.

Not surprisingly she is no longer my friend.
I haven't actually heard from her in 7 or so years but I hear the little boy, who lives with the aunt of his father, is doing wonderfully.

CailinDana - no, not at all. I thought my post was clear but obviously not. I'll clear that up now. I'm pro-choice; a woman has the right to decide what happens to her body. With that right comes choice. Like OP, I had a friend who aborted numerous times. My friend did it for no reason other than she didn't like contraception. Now THAT is shameful and pretty disgusting. No decent woman does that.

Ok, so to get it clear it's ok to have multiple unplanned/unwanted pregnancies as long as it's down to contraception failure (which would be very unlucky if that's what happened every time) and in that case it would be fine to have multiple abortions but otherwise it's shameful?

Calin, Not looking after yourself, body and mind, is shameful, accidents happen, but careless is just stupid.

Yes it would be ok if that were the case. In my friends case, she has made no attempt whatsoever to prevent pregnancy which has led to abortion, which I think is pretty fucked up.

Yep i'm sure some would count me lucky, the obstetrician said I probably have hyperfertility so would have to use say, the coil and condoms but even then it's not 100% so hence why I had the sterilisation

That was a bit TMI sorry

CailinDana To abdicate your responsibility altogether for protecting your body against pregnancy is NOT the same as contraception failure. I agree with your point though that probability is against that multiple unwanted pregnancies occur from proper use of contraceptives.

Flibble - so are smoking and drinking shameful?

To be clear I wouldn't class myself as pro-choice though I'm not anti-abortion either. I'm interested to know the thinking behind the pro-choice view as I was under the impression it was completely unrestricted but that doesn't seem to be the case - quite a few posters seem to think there's a "decent" limit to the amount of abortions a woman should have.

I always get that oh yeah sure you were using them properly response.
Do you think I would have done something so drastic and permanent as sterilisation at age 26 if I though there was a chance maybe I hadn't used my contraceptives properly

I am pro-choice but that doesn't mean I have to be okay with people using abortions routinely as an alternative to contraception. It's not that black and white.

OP she sounds horrible frankly.

As far as I can see, if you are pro-choice (ie pro-abortion - might as well be clear) then the only ground upon which you could possibly object to someone having multiple abortions is the cost to the NHS.

Many many women feel nothing but happiness and relief after an abortion. Personally, I think it's better your friend has abortions than multiple unwanted children. If she's not losing sleep over it - why should you?

CailinDana I think there is different levels of acceptability for different people It's not just as simple as pro-choice or anti-abortion I think.

There's not a 'decent' limit. What a ridiculous thing to say.

'Decent' refers to a woman taking responsibility for herself and her decisions. I've seen women in absolute despair after having terminations. I would safely assume that those women wouldn't be so blase as to recklessly put themselves through that again and again and would take precautions. OPs friend - and my friend - do not care.

Whatever somebody's view is, pro-choice or not - the elephant in the room is always there. Abortion prevents the growth of cells into a potential baby. That's a hard thing for any woman to deal with, unless they're completely feckless and uncaring. Fortunately, most women aren't like that.

I don't think you should hold off with being honest about what you think. It may spell the end of your friendship - or it may not. You probably won't be able to influence her behaviour but there is no reason to keep holding your tongue.

I consider myself pro-choice in so far as I believe it is an option that all woman should have. It should be an option. A woman can end up having multiple abortions for a multitude of reasons. Most of them not because the woman in question can't be arsed to used contraception and is picking blokes who can't be arsed either to have sex with.

For whatever reasons women find themselves pregnant and unable to continue the pregnancy the decision is not usually made in the same way one goes shoe shopping. Even if it is absolutely the right decision for them.

OP... the "use them properly" wasn't in response to your post. I didn't see your post about 'hyperfertility' when I posted. I'm referring to the vast majority of contraceptive 'failures'.

It seems there are 3 positions on abortion - anti-choice, pro-choice and pro-choice as long as the woman shows displays of emotional penance.

Why are men having unprotected sex with her?

I think your friendship with her has run it's course, op.

It seems that way CoalDust. It seems that in order to "qualify" to make the choice to have an abortion you must be entirely innocent (ie be pregnant due to a mistake rather than bad judgement) and you must find it very hard and never want to do it again. Otherwise you're indecent and shameful. Interesting.

I am inclined to feel sorry for your friend. Abortion as conteace

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe sorry I'm being oversensitive

coaldust the men are having unprotected sex with her because they too are incredibly stupid and careless.

I am inclined to feel sorry for your friend. Abortion as contraception cannot be an easy road to keep going down. I wonder why she keeps putting herself in this situation, and who the men are that are colluding in this?

Whatever her reasons, I don't see why she deserves to be abandoned as a friend?! And I take offence to the idea that abortiin must be a terrible, traumatic experience or else the woman is an unfeeling bitch. I have had three terminations and wasn't in the least bit traumatised, just bloody relieved. It's legal, it's safe and if you are genuinely pro-choice...why do you care?

YANBU I personally couldn't continue a relationship with anyone if they used abortion as a form of birth control.

things, the abortion issues aside, are you getting anything positive out of this friendship?