ABIU to want to stab vulgar fry up loving in-laws?

[Daisyduckling]

Basically apologies for a huge rant, but it's either this or DH's mother is kicked out of the house in the middle of the night.

MIL and FIL have always made it clear they despise me and my family, but somehow because they want to "protect," DH and my children from me, and they nomally live a ( healthy,) distance away, it has become a tradition that starting xmas eve, they will stay a week to ten days with the family to spend the "christmas season," with us. They never ask if it is a problem,just phone DH, to tell him what time he will need to pick them up from the statio. However it is problem for me, and issues arising today have particuarly wound me up. In no particular order:

1. DH and i have no problem with smokers, however ask people to smoke in the garden if they are staying in the house. MIL is used to smoking inside, and will always try and light up when i'm not looking, ( e.g. in another room cooking xmas dinner.) Today arguement started when i found out she asked dd (9,) to stand guard outside the living room to stop me coming in and interupting her fag. I feel asking children to keep secrets, totally undermines me as a parent, but she thinks it is funny and DH thinks it is annoying, but not a serious problem. I am furious. I have explained to her that my sister who is having xmas dinner here has asthma, but she assures me that shes sure it's, "made up."

2. Expects a cooked breakfast everyday of her stay, and was very grumpy with me when i told her i did not want to cook a full english on xmas day as we'd be eating a big meal i a few hours. Cooked scrambled eggs with DD and she refused to eat these out of spite, even though DD had been really excited about cooking nanny a special breakfast on Xmas morning. ( And shes already told me she likes scrambled eggs.) Moaned all morning about being starving despite alternatives of toast/ cereal being offered. Generally weird attitude to food, refuses any fruit or vegetables, also has an addiction to coke and dh has been made to stock up whilst she's here. Ignores any requests of mine not to offer glasses of coke on a daily basis to children. Also expresses astonishment that i'm not feeding DH properly, ( he is normal BMI, her and FIL are unsuprisingly very obese.) Again DD is also given "secret," glasses of coke each day on previous visits without my knowledge, looks set to continue this year.

3. Mil must watch what she wants to watch on telly at all times, especially on xmas day. My parents like to buy a family DVD and watch it together as a family each year, this year they brought Hairspray. DD was happily watching it with my parents, MIL asked to watch corrie at about half 7, I said she could watch the repeat with me later, ( I'm also an avid soap watcher, practically only thing we have in common,) but response was not good enough and she then had a large loud convo with FIL to ruin the rest of the film, asking every 10 minutes if we could stop watching this crap and put corrie on. This is why she gets the remote to herself for whole stay normally.

4. is just so rude and vulgar all the time. Pretended to vomit up my xmas dinner back on to her plate as an illustration of how "disgusting dinner was." ( I'd accidently given her a plate with veg on.) Also encouraged kids to do the same. FIL also talks about their sex life non stop in front of my whole extended family. I think this is gross.

I am crying about spending another 10 days like this, DH whilst not impressed with this still seems to feel the kids benifit from the visit.

AIBU to make this the last visit? Just want some support from DH :(

Do people like this actually exist?

They sound like characters from a terrifying Roald Dahl story.

Make them go away immediately!

Urgh the smoking in the house on it's own would piss me off - If you have to get your nicotine fix you do it outside. I don't give a flying fuck if it's raining/sleeting or snowing if you want to smell like an ash tray you go outside or go home. Thankfully DH is in full agreement since it's his rule [mad]

We don't do cooked breakfasts around Xmas - Cereal, toast, fruit, yoghurt and a variety of homemade pastries are on offer. If DH is in the mood then bacon and egg butties are also available.

I give up the TV (everything I want to watch I set to record). PIL, DS and DH get full control.

Couldn't you do alternate Xmases so you didn't have to see them every year? Or say they can only stay for X number of days as anything more would be inconvenient?

God they sound vile. However if they do kick off tonight when you all have your little chat you have a very fair reason to kick them the fuck out your house. Don't even drive them to the station just shove them and their shit out your house and let them deal with it.

I can understand why you have tried to keep the peace tbf, but enough is enough. No one would want their kids listening to this shite their gran and grandad spout. Or copying their revolting behaviour. And while we're on that subject, anyone who gets a kick out of talking in depth about sex infront of children is sick in the head and should not be allowed near them. It's seriously dodgy imo.

Hope your chat goes well, I would have blown a gasket and they'd have been out, DH too if he didn't back me up, am raging on your behalf.

Fwiw when I got mine and DH house, we said no smoking inside, my dm is a smoker and smokes inside at home due to limited mobility. When I explained she wasn't happy and said she wasn't coming round, I calmly replied it was a shame if she wanted to exclude herself on the basis of a few cigarettes but her choice, she wasn't expecting that. She never raised it again and happily pops outside for an odd one when here now.

I second mrsdevere! There is no god damn WAY I would be staying to be treated that way. Go and stay with a family member or friend, you do not have to take this. You are a grown woman.

dont do it again next year awful awful people.

You shouldn't need that house rules chat. FFS, normal people know all this without being told. My dsis smokes but she always goes outside to do it.
And my MIL has been rude about my cooking before. Guess what? Since the last fiasco where she deliberatly made dh go back into the kitchen and cook her already overcooked steak three times, she has NEVER been invited for dinner. The sending the steak back was only to make a point to me, it was already very well-done.
I think the chat should actaully be to say that they are never coming back again. Not welcome. End of.

I hope the meeting goes well for you either way. They won't change they're too ignorant.

They only come to you because they can't be arsed to do Christmas themselves. It's a free holiday for them lazy gits.

They sound like the Twits (Roald Dahl). Hope meeting goes well!

Don't have them back until your DH grows a pair. If they want to stay again, they can stay in a B&B or a travelodge.

You forgot number 9 - no inviting yourselves to stay, you wait for an invitation which will never come. It's your holiday too, you shouldn't be spending g it a/ waiting on them hand and foot, b/ being disrespected in your own home and c/ getting stressed over it.

Is your DH on side for this chat later on?

If DH still insists on having them over after this, write down a precis of what they have done over this holiday and ask him if he would find it acceptable in any other visitor, or from someone you were visiting.

Your PiL are utter Gumbys, never allow them over your doorstep again!

Stab them

yanbu

If any adult did that in my house at the earliest opportunity I would put veg on plate and hope the fake puke.

I would them pick up plate and dump the contents on there head.

I would have kicked them out by now.

I've kicked my FIL for using racist language. I couldn't give a shit if it upsets him. My DH backs me up everytime.

Never let them stay again.

Can't wait to hear what they have to say for themselves!

I think I would have an aneurysm if if had to put up with that for two days, let alone ten! Really hope this is the last time OP (and they piss off early!)

So your DH had the sense to find them embarrassing by the age of twelve, escaped them moved out at sixteen, and STILL expects you to be held hostage by them for ten days? Fuxake ! I would be kicking his arse for subjecting me to this.

They'll probably say they were only joking and can't the OP take a joke. And then there will be some rubbish about being overprotective towards children and political correctness. And they won't shift a foot. Or maybe they will listen and learn.

I still think 10 days is too long. You need real down time during the holidays. Cut it short. Better for everyone.

Oh my days. I am speechless.

JESUS CHRIST!

Your DH needs to man up sharpish , they are horrendous.

Also speechless! Absolutely no more of their bullshit, you hear me?

They sound rancid, utterly grotty. It's their business if they want to smoke, drink coke, talk filth etc, but it really doesn't have to be yours and your kids problem! And it will become a bloody big problem if your kids head teacher is calling you in to school to discuss grandads incessant talk of doggystyle!!

I'll lend you my motto: respect me as a parent and respect me in my home or fuck off.

Have you looked up when the first train home is tomorrow?