Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Re bikini waxing for 9year olds?

274 replies

Preposteroushypothesis · 19/12/2012 19:26

Trying to keep this brief so here we go!
I was having a leg and bikini wax the other day and my waxing lady told me that she gives girls as young as 9 full leg and bikini waxes!! My first reaction was to be completely appalled and saddened at how young girls are being forced to grow up so fast these days etc, however, she made an interesting point which has led me to doubt this reaction and wonder whether it is ok in certain circumstances.

Firstly, she said that some girls are swimmers and are obviously very self conscious of having hair poking out and getting teased, I thought this was very understandable if the girl in question has developed particularly early.

Secondly, she said it is apparently very big with girls who go to boarding school (which is a lot of girls in the area where the wax lady works). Apparently, her clients start as soon as they get there first hairs there and get the whole lot off, not just 'neatened up', because 'no one wants to be the first'.

Thirdly, she said that although she does have some pushy mothers who are obviously driving this most of the mothers say they resisted but the girls will just shave if they don't take them to be waxed and then end up making a complete mess of themselves.

I think my conclusions are that:
I wouldn't take my daughter to be waxed completely just so she's not the first, I would encourage her to accept the changes in her body as natural and nothing to be ashamed of.
I would however, consider letting my daughter have a basic bikini wax to stop excess hair poking out the sides if it was causing her great embarrassment.
I also think I would encourage my daughter to choose to be waxed at the time she starts to consider shaving her legs to save her from a lifetime of hardship with the evils of shaving...but I can't decide if I have an age limit for this...

So I'm putting it to the mumsnet jury: AIBU to think that a bikini wax on a 9 year old could be acceptable in certain circumstances?

OP posts:
FromEsme · 19/12/2012 21:52

Outraged, no-one has a "need" to wax. It is a completely unnecessary procedure.

BramblyHedge · 19/12/2012 21:57

I don't get the boarding school thing. I went to boarding school and it wasn't shared showers or anything. We had privacy when washing and changing. I don't recall ever seeing anyone elses bits or it being amd sort of issue.

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter · 19/12/2012 22:00

This 'should' be a massive no. But I know younger dark haired girls getting teased for having hairy legs and the alternative is them attacking it themselves with mums razor.

Spuddybean · 19/12/2012 22:04

a bit like under age sex i suppose. do you say no it's wrong and don't offer advice or contraception, knowing they will do it anyway, or do you make sure they are safe? No one needs to have sex, but they are going to do it anyway.

PiccadillyCervix · 19/12/2012 22:07

sex is enjoyable.

It can't be avoided by offering a pair of swim shorts

Meringue33 · 19/12/2012 22:07

Curious about the cultural issues here. I go to a beauty salon run by an Indian lady, I like it there as the staff are very un self conscious, skilled and make you feel at ease when getting an "intimate wax".

The proprietress has made comments to me during waxing several times along the lines of "your boyfriend will like this" and "men like it this way", which would suggest to me that waxing is sexualised in her culture (as well as mine).

FrequentFlyerRandomDent · 19/12/2012 22:09

Why is it that we continue to condone that no hair (ie prepubescent) is sexy, and hair (ie mature body) is unsexy?

I always find this very odd.

It in subject I know, but it saddens me that women hurt themselves to look like kids in order to attract men.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 19/12/2012 22:13

I don't think everyone is talking about removing all hair Frequent.

takataka · 19/12/2012 22:14

do you know what...i think if you have got to the stage where you have a 8/9/10 year old daughter and they see waxing their pubes as an option...you've already fucked up. Whether they wax or not from that point onwards is neither here nor there probably...might as well let them, save them the embarrassment.

I pray that I instill enough confidence, self esteem and values that its not even on their radar (i shall report back in approximately a year or so)

Yogagirl17 · 19/12/2012 22:15

Frequentflyer - I don't do it just to attract men. I like to shave my legs & underarms even when no one but me will see. I think it feels nicer when it's smooth. Yes - I accept that this is no doubt part of my cultural upbringing but the fact is we don't live in isolation. So much of what we do and like is part of the culture we grow up in. The things we eat and drink, the way we socialise, the music we listen to, the time we go to bed, the way we dress - it's all cultural, this is no different.

SoleSource · 19/12/2012 22:16

9 year olds have pubic hair????

takataka · 19/12/2012 22:16

merringue

I just cant conjugate these 2 parts of your post;

The proprietress has made comments to me during waxing several times along the lines of "your boyfriend will like this" and "men like it this way",

make you feel at ease when getting an "intimate wax"

Grin
ZenNudist · 19/12/2012 22:20

No

At 9 I didn't have a bikini line to speak of. It sort of developed into a paragraph with time. Bad for a 9 year old to be a) so self conscious b) messing around with their body.

If I had a dd I'd be happy for her to use home waxing or shave (paid for out of pocket money) from 11 - 12 ish if she had a lot of hair & was self conscious. I certainly would not be stumping up for beauticians costs.

Spuddybean · 19/12/2012 22:30

Piccadilly - my post was in response to the previous one from can't believe. ie do you let your child hack at their legs with a razor and not know how to do it properly or do you, knowing they will do it anyway, even tho it is against your principles, help them.

I know if i had a daughter and she felt so awful at 9 i wold cry and feel torn. But having been that 9 year old i am also torn. not sure if that make sense.

WorraLorraTurkey · 19/12/2012 22:32

If I had a 9yr old DD with excessive hair that she was stressing/embarrassed about, I would teach her to trim it and if necessary, buy some hair removal cream.

But no way would I take her for a wax.

If anything, it'll be bloody painful.

Strange thread though...I hope there aren't lurkers getting their rocks off to it what with it being an open forum.

FrequentFlyerRandomDent · 19/12/2012 22:32

I know. I may be a bit OTT.

But it is there and always bothers me. Women are expected to look prepubescent to look good.

WorraLorraTurkey · 19/12/2012 22:33

No-one has to hack anything with a razor

That's what electric shavers are for.

Idohaveoneofthese · 19/12/2012 22:38

My 9 yo DD1(10 in 2 weeks), feels very self conscious of her arm and leg hair. She has asked for some hair removal cream ( a friend of hers was using it at 7.5, for her legs). I have felt very conflicted about what to do and I have stalled on her a bit by saying that I will look into he best thing for her, but that I don't think she should worry about it.
However, she has persisted and goes to great lengths to cover up her forearms. I am not a diligent hair remover, but I remember shaving my arms in Middle school. Her arm hair is quite noticeable, but I am surprised she is this worried about it at this age, but I don't want her to think I am ignoring her concerns. WWYD?

3b1g · 19/12/2012 22:41

I think that if people are talking about removing the hair that grows from below the crease at the top of the inner thigh (i.e. pubic hair growing from the upper thigh rather than the labia majora) then this hair would not be covered by any style of school swimming costume that I have seen, and the result would not make a person look pre-pubescent (I don't have hair growing from there and I went through puberty nearly three decades ago). There is a wide range of patterns of normal body hair growth, and if you are the only girl in your class to have pubic hair growing from outside the area covered by a school swimming costume, then removing it is not necessarily pandering to the pornification of society.

FromEsme · 19/12/2012 22:41

yogagirl of course everything is culturally influenced. But 20/30 years ago, waxing was not on the radar of any 9 year old girl. Of course people are going to wonder why it is different now.

Also, anything that is expected of women and not of men is going to be debated.

A nine year old girl came to my school today with a full face of make-up: foundation, eyeliner, lipstick etc. To me, that is just so sad.

soontobeburns · 19/12/2012 22:42

I'm sorry but I find it sickening that people even think about waxing a 9 yr old let alone condoning it. Why would a swim suit matter it covers your pubic region why would hair poke out?
I have never ever waxed does there. I shaved once and it was so fucking painful and ingrown never again!!

Call me ignorant but do people have hair on their thighs from their pubic region??? My hair stops on the pubic mound. Surely that is just thigh hair and not pubic hair?

I have never felt pressure to wax and I have been watching porn since a young age lol. If my fiance told me too I would tell him to wise through fuck up. I know I'm strange at 22 but I like pubic hair it's normal.

WorraLorraTurkey · 19/12/2012 22:43

Idohave I'd buy her a lady shave for Christmas.

I had ridiculously dark hairy legs and at the age of 9yrs I grabbed my Dad's razor (very old fashioned one...not a safety razor) and proceeded to shave all the hair off without my parent's knowledge.

Actually, they didn't even notice and I continued to shave (and cut myself regularly!) for years before I bought myself a lady shave with my Saturday job wages when I was 13.

At the end of the day, adults can spout "you should be happy with the body you were born with" till the cows come home....but how many adults really are?

FromEsme · 19/12/2012 22:46

Worra, I'm happy with my body (beyond the fact that I feel the need to shave). I attribute this to my mother never making any issue of my or her appearance.

WorraLorraTurkey · 19/12/2012 22:46

Oh and I should add, my Mum didn't shave anything...not even her armpits.

I think in a way that was worse because I just knew she didn't understand why I chose to remove my hair.

If it wasn't for my older sisters, I wouldn't have even had anyone to discuss it with.

Spuddybean · 19/12/2012 22:46

so then it is just the method that bothers you? So shaving it and removal cream are fin but it's just waxing that you don't like? I don't understand why? Removal cream, trimming and shaving would need to be much more frequent. They are also very cumbersome (i have memories of creaming my legs weekly ), i had sensitive skin so would often be bleeding from razors, have rashes from cream, not to mention the time it consumed etc. I think i would have preferred a clean quick wax once a month tbh.