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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Re bikini waxing for 9year olds?

274 replies

Preposteroushypothesis · 19/12/2012 19:26

Trying to keep this brief so here we go!
I was having a leg and bikini wax the other day and my waxing lady told me that she gives girls as young as 9 full leg and bikini waxes!! My first reaction was to be completely appalled and saddened at how young girls are being forced to grow up so fast these days etc, however, she made an interesting point which has led me to doubt this reaction and wonder whether it is ok in certain circumstances.

Firstly, she said that some girls are swimmers and are obviously very self conscious of having hair poking out and getting teased, I thought this was very understandable if the girl in question has developed particularly early.

Secondly, she said it is apparently very big with girls who go to boarding school (which is a lot of girls in the area where the wax lady works). Apparently, her clients start as soon as they get there first hairs there and get the whole lot off, not just 'neatened up', because 'no one wants to be the first'.

Thirdly, she said that although she does have some pushy mothers who are obviously driving this most of the mothers say they resisted but the girls will just shave if they don't take them to be waxed and then end up making a complete mess of themselves.

I think my conclusions are that:
I wouldn't take my daughter to be waxed completely just so she's not the first, I would encourage her to accept the changes in her body as natural and nothing to be ashamed of.
I would however, consider letting my daughter have a basic bikini wax to stop excess hair poking out the sides if it was causing her great embarrassment.
I also think I would encourage my daughter to choose to be waxed at the time she starts to consider shaving her legs to save her from a lifetime of hardship with the evils of shaving...but I can't decide if I have an age limit for this...

So I'm putting it to the mumsnet jury: AIBU to think that a bikini wax on a 9 year old could be acceptable in certain circumstances?

OP posts:
PiccadillyCervix · 19/12/2012 21:17

So you'll save your daughters blushes drranj?

takataka · 19/12/2012 21:17

X-post esme...same thoughts

PiccadillyCervix · 19/12/2012 21:18

We had a racist invasion 2 weeks ago and now seem to have the whole cast of TOWIE arguing for depubing little kids.

Maybe Disney vajazzles too to go with it?

takataka · 19/12/2012 21:19

bevelino those thoughts crossed my mind...is OP a regular poster?

Meglet · 19/12/2012 21:19

spuddy is my body hair twin Grin!

I shaved my arms and legs at 9 as my friends were always teasing me about them being so hairy. Started waxing at 15, in 20yrs it has never thinned out. And yes to young blonde waxers being freaked out by hairy legs, the youngest never wax toes either Hmm.

I didn't have pubic hair at 9 though IIRC. Stopped my swimming lessons at 13 though as I was too hairy to be able to maintain it properly, stopped PE too as I was always being picked on for it.

Spuddybean · 19/12/2012 21:20

Yes i agree taka. But i think in those less enlightened times even the adults would tease me. It seemed so peculiar i suppose and even now people make comments about my arms. These are the people who are really anti bullying liberals but for some reason hair seems a universal fair game.

I was disappointed with myself for weakening and having my arms lasered but i just couldn't bear feeling like a freak anymore.

BinksToEnlightenment · 19/12/2012 21:21

Trimming, waxing, shaving, hair removal cream, bleach...

They are all means to the same end.

It's not like all nine year olds have this. It's the very rare one. Why can't she have a wax if she's allowed a trim? A professional wax is a lot quicker and safer than letting loose with a pair of scissors in a blind spot.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 19/12/2012 21:21

Are we just supposed to ignore the fact that we actually prefer what our bodies feel like after a wax compared to when we just let it grow free, just for the sake of not conforming?

DumSpiroSperHoHoHo · 19/12/2012 21:23

I'm sitting on the fence.

My DD is 8, but tall and quite well built and has been showing signs of puberty starting for quite a while.

I can't imagine that this kind of thing will be an issue by next year, but it will probably be something I'll have to address earlier than I imagined or would like.

I think it's really down to the parent and child to decide together how appropriate/necessary it is in their own individual circumstances, I suppose.

FromEsme · 19/12/2012 21:23

I had trichotillomania when I was a teenager and pulled out all of my eyelashes and most of my eyebrows. I got some amount of shit for that at school for a week or so, but then it just stopped because I never responded. Some part of me just cannot be arsed about what people think about my appearance and I think that's because my mum never put any pressure on me to look a certain way - as long as I was relatively clean and presentable she didn't care (and not too fussed about her own looks either).

I was SHOCKED by how much importance some of my friends' mums put on how they looked, even at primary school.

takataka · 19/12/2012 21:23

Are we just supposed to ignore the fact that we actually prefer what our bodies feel like after a wax compared to when we just let it grow free, just for the sake of not conforming?

how are you even asking this question, regarding 9 year old children freddo?

FromEsme · 19/12/2012 21:26

Outraged, you know your preferences are totally moulded by societal pressure, right?

I'm not saying mine aren't, but at least I can see it and therefore make an informed decision. So many people just say "but I just LIKE it" without thinking about WHY they like it.

Take onesies. A year ago, people would actually have thought wtf if they saw someone wearing one. Now it's relatively normal to wear them to the supermarket. And people will say the same: but I just like it. But they don't "just like it" - they like it because it has become acceptable and normal. Same with pube removal. Except possibly less sinister.

PiccadillyCervix · 19/12/2012 21:27

Are we just supposed to ignore the fact that we actually prefer what our bodies feel like after a wax compared to when we just let it grow free, just for the sake of not conforming?

I never argus against grown adult women getting whatever the fuck they want waxed, won't judge you if you do or don't. But you are refering to a 9year old

PiccadillyCervix · 19/12/2012 21:28

Do you think it is less sinister? not sure myself...

Spuddybean · 19/12/2012 21:28

yes, why is one hair removing method worse than another?

i hardly think it's about the towie style, it isn't about 'glamour' (not that that is) but the opposite, namely being comfortable and functional. i don't like girls in make up or sexy clothes, but if this is stopping sport and fun and there is a way to prevent that, then why not. it is only us adults projecting what we feel is adult behaviour.

FromEsme · 19/12/2012 21:28

And by the way, I'm not saying that as an adult you can't make the choice to remove your pubes. Remove what you want, I couldn't care less. But your choices are not made in a vacuum and to transfer these body anxieties onto a 9 year old just seems awful.

McChristmasPants2012 · 19/12/2012 21:29

no way would anyone be going near my DD pubic area at that age.

FromEsme · 19/12/2012 21:30

How exactly is pubic hair uncomfortable or limiting the function of anything?

I have never noticed any difference in the functioning of my vulva due to pubic hair. And I find it actively uncomfortable to have no hair.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 19/12/2012 21:30

freddo...those decisions are for an adult to make

not for 9yo's to have it forced upon them by their fixated mothers (who are projecting their own hang ups)

or else...let's start it on those even younger

my pre teen son is sat next to me

what shall we wish on him ?

FromEsme · 19/12/2012 21:30

Cervix, onesies are pretty grim, there's no denying it.

PiccadillyCervix · 19/12/2012 21:30

Why don't we say first of all, why do we insists young girls show so much skin? WHy can't they wear functional swim suits that cover as much as the boys do? Then you haven't got to worry about anyone's pubes hanging out?

FromEsme · 19/12/2012 21:31

Cervix, exactly. How high cut are these swimsuits that they're showing pubic hair?

Spuddybean · 19/12/2012 21:33

fromesme - my pube preference is nothing to do with societal pressure it is because i find it hard to put tampons in and wipe myself with the amount of hair i have. underarm is because when waxed i don't need deodorant. the rest yes is society.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 19/12/2012 21:33

Onesies on adults in public are still not acceptable unless for fancy dress! You can't compare it to that!

I can see there is a possibility my preferences may have been moulded by societal pressures, but actually, I'm ok with that if its true. I don't feel pressured by society to wax, so when I don't bother, it's ok. I will still know that I prefer what I feel like after a wax.

McChristmasPants2012 · 19/12/2012 21:35

so if a 9 year old wanted her belly button peirced really wanted it, would you allow her to have it done.

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