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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Re bikini waxing for 9year olds?

274 replies

Preposteroushypothesis · 19/12/2012 19:26

Trying to keep this brief so here we go!
I was having a leg and bikini wax the other day and my waxing lady told me that she gives girls as young as 9 full leg and bikini waxes!! My first reaction was to be completely appalled and saddened at how young girls are being forced to grow up so fast these days etc, however, she made an interesting point which has led me to doubt this reaction and wonder whether it is ok in certain circumstances.

Firstly, she said that some girls are swimmers and are obviously very self conscious of having hair poking out and getting teased, I thought this was very understandable if the girl in question has developed particularly early.

Secondly, she said it is apparently very big with girls who go to boarding school (which is a lot of girls in the area where the wax lady works). Apparently, her clients start as soon as they get there first hairs there and get the whole lot off, not just 'neatened up', because 'no one wants to be the first'.

Thirdly, she said that although she does have some pushy mothers who are obviously driving this most of the mothers say they resisted but the girls will just shave if they don't take them to be waxed and then end up making a complete mess of themselves.

I think my conclusions are that:
I wouldn't take my daughter to be waxed completely just so she's not the first, I would encourage her to accept the changes in her body as natural and nothing to be ashamed of.
I would however, consider letting my daughter have a basic bikini wax to stop excess hair poking out the sides if it was causing her great embarrassment.
I also think I would encourage my daughter to choose to be waxed at the time she starts to consider shaving her legs to save her from a lifetime of hardship with the evils of shaving...but I can't decide if I have an age limit for this...

So I'm putting it to the mumsnet jury: AIBU to think that a bikini wax on a 9 year old could be acceptable in certain circumstances?

OP posts:
puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 19/12/2012 19:42

Oh spuddy Sad

I had a friend who used to shave her arms because she hated the hair.

However, at 9 non of us were conscious of our body hair.

AnnIonicIsoTronic · 19/12/2012 19:43

Bikini line - fine - its a personal call albeit yuuukkkk, hope my dd doesn't ask

all off for boarding school?!? There's a strong reason against girls of a vulnerable age living away from home. How screwed up.

Spuddybean · 19/12/2012 19:43

Naice - hair doesn't necessarily thin. i have waxed now for 20 years and it's thicker if anything. altho i am a yeti! :)

Original poster
Preposteroushypothesis · 19/12/2012 19:43

Sad state of affairs is right, somerset, I think that's why I spent so long thinking about it, the thought of my little girl going through this is quite distressing, and it's not their fault, it's society's

OP posts:
takataka · 19/12/2012 19:44

I dont wax my pubic hair or shave it at all...so where would my dd get this idea from at 9 years old?

If the girls are getting this idea from the school...then the school needs to be addressing it

IT IS MENTAL

Spuddybean · 19/12/2012 19:47

i was conscious Puds and so were my peers. at 9 i was called 'shaggy aggy' which was a garbage pail kid character with pubes and under arm hair. people in my class would pick up balls of string, wool, skipping ropes etc and hold on their crotch and say 'look, i'm spuddy' teachers would even laugh!

i do accept i am not normal tho

takataka · 19/12/2012 19:49

hold on hold on......its not that common for 9 year old girls to have pubic hair...that it could be 'very big with....[socioeconomic group of 9 year old girls]

I reckon your waxerist lady has probably waxed 1 9 year old girl

If it is true then;

  1. someone needs to be having fucking words with that boarding school
  2. Waxer lady should be refusing to do it
MrsMargoLeadbetter · 19/12/2012 19:54

Like Spudy I also suffer from excess hair, tucking it doesn't work.

Not sure when I got pubes, but as a competive swimmer I was really upset by my under arm hair, and my mum wouldn't buy me razors. So I had to use sissors. If I have a dd and she suffers like I did/still do, I would support her with removal.

FrameyMcFrame · 19/12/2012 19:56

No I think you're wrong. Excess hair can be trimmed safely with a pair of nail scissors. It is unnecessary and barbaric to pay to have some stranger rip it out from the roots leaving bruised skin and risk infection.

Get a grip woman Sad

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 19/12/2012 19:56

This is one thing where I think Brits have it all wrong.

The closest friends I had when I was young were all originally from countries where women tend to have a lot of hair. They don't like it, so they take it off. Everyone got hairy, everyone waxed. It was no big deal.

No pisstaking, no bullying, no self consciousness, no embarrassment, no parents fretting that their children were growing up too quickly, no outrage at children/teens waxing, none of it. The girls I know who were waxing at a young age haven't grown up with any issues because of it, it's harmless.

This is a cultural thing, and I don't think this whole battle that we have going on with society pressures v parents v embarrassed girls does anyone any favours.

Original poster
Preposteroushypothesis · 19/12/2012 19:57

Sorry takataka, ive obviously not been clear enough, she wasn't talking exclusively of 9 year olds, just girls as young as 9. She was mainly referring to some girls who are on swim teams who are 9 there. The boarding school girls are more like 11 or so I think, or whatever age it is that you graduate from the private version of primary school to secondary school. She obviously doesn't wax the entire boarding school Grin it's just that all the girls who are around that age who he waxes are going off to boarding school and this is what they have said

OP posts:
SwedishEdith · 19/12/2012 19:58

Agree that the waxer is going to argue that's it's reasonable/understandable as that's her livlihood. Maybe there needs to be an age limit at these places,like at tanning salons? A message that making yourself hairless isn't the norm - or shouldn't be - for children?

FrameyMcFrame · 19/12/2012 19:58

Also my DD is 12 and doesn't have much, I know we are all different but 9?!

I wonder what we are coming to if children of 9 have to go through this shit.

takataka · 19/12/2012 20:02

freddos all very well and good...but i think OP is talking about England,

takataka · 19/12/2012 20:02

the woman wouldn't have a livelihood if she gave a bikini wax to my 9 year old dd Angry

NationalLottie · 19/12/2012 20:04

Seems perfectly sensible to tidy up stray hairs. The idea of them being on show is not nice. Not convinced about taking them all off, I would discourage that.
But I really dont get some people's love affair with pubes.

takataka · 19/12/2012 20:04

and the 'culture'.....what? porn culture of being hairless you mean??

Spuddybean · 19/12/2012 20:07

Framey - The time it would have taken to trim back my body hair with scissors on a weekly basis, just to not have it 'barbarically' removed would have been a horrible impingement on my life. Seriously, you are imposing way too much on a method of hair removal. i can understand if you said be hairy and proud, but what's the point of achieving the same effect, but using a more cumbersome, time consuming and frequent, but less 'adult' method?

PacificDogwood · 19/12/2012 20:07

It's terrible that there is any kind of 'market' for this SadAngry.

Having said that, I do think that some girls/women with particularly dark/think/Asian or African body hair have an even harder time of it.

Sadly, I cannot say I am surprised to read that this goes on.

1605 · 19/12/2012 20:08

Another hairy brunette here.

By 9 I had armpit and pubic hair and dark fuzzy fur all down my legs.

My mother was similarly afflicted and had clearly been bullied by her own mother, because at the first sign of teasing at school she took me to her beautician and I had the lot waxed off. After that, no teasing.

Having said that, Hollywoods for a little girl (even one mature enough to have pubic hair) make me feel very, very queasy.

Bluestocking · 19/12/2012 20:08

The boarding school story doesn't make any sense, unless the girls who board at the school also live in the area, which seems unlikely. How would the girls be able to persuade a member of staff at the school to take them to a beautician for a bikini wax? Nine year old pupils certainly wouldn't be allowed out on their own.

marriedandwreathedinholly · 19/12/2012 20:09

My dd is 14.5. She started her periods at 10yrs, 5mths. She was the first girl in her class to get, pubes, boobs and underarm hair. She is very fair but I certainly, from the age of 10 helped her use depilatory (sp) cream on her arm pits because she was so self conscious and upset about it.

I don't like the sound of waxing for very young girls, but had dd been darker (and actually she isn't that hairy comparatively at 14.5) I don't know if I would have considered this or not - she was certainly very hairy in Year 5 compared to the others.

It really is hard for them when they are early developers and I don't know what I might have done had circumstances been slightly different.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 19/12/2012 20:10

No, not porn culture Xmas Hmm

And I did grow up in England! I just happened to mix with a lot of people that weren't originally English, who all also lived in England. The girls I used to be good friends with at secondary school (so admittedly not as young as 9) were Kurdish, Iranian and Turkish, and I have a middle Eastern background too. So we were all hairy from a young age, and didn't have to suffer any hang ups about it because we were all similar, and nobody's mum freaked out when we wanted to shave or wax. In fact we were encouraged to wax rather than shave or use harsh cream, but then the type of skin I have copes well with waxing.

Bluestocking · 19/12/2012 20:11

Freddos, can you tell us which countries the girls you grew up with were from?

1605 · 19/12/2012 20:11

Boarding school makes perfect sense to me. Your mother takes you before the beginning of term, and you're hairless and not faffing about with body hair removal until exeat.

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