Re bikini waxing for 9year olds?

[Preposteroushypothesis]

Trying to keep this brief so here we go!
I was having a leg and bikini wax the other day and my waxing lady told me that she gives girls as young as 9 full leg and bikini waxes!! My first reaction was to be completely appalled and saddened at how young girls are being forced to grow up so fast these days etc, however, she made an interesting point which has led me to doubt this reaction and wonder whether it is ok in certain circumstances.

Firstly, she said that some girls are swimmers and are obviously very self conscious of having hair poking out and getting teased, I thought this was very understandable if the girl in question has developed particularly early.

Secondly, she said it is apparently very big with girls who go to boarding school (which is a lot of girls in the area where the wax lady works). Apparently, her clients start as soon as they get there first hairs there and get the whole lot off, not just 'neatened up', because 'no one wants to be the first'.

Thirdly, she said that although she does have some pushy mothers who are obviously driving this most of the mothers say they resisted but the girls will just shave if they don't take them to be waxed and then end up making a complete mess of themselves.

I think my conclusions are that:
I wouldn't take my daughter to be waxed completely just so she's not the first, I would encourage her to accept the changes in her body as natural and nothing to be ashamed of.
I would however, consider letting my daughter have a basic bikini wax to stop excess hair poking out the sides if it was causing her great embarrassment.
I also think I would encourage my daughter to choose to be waxed at the time she starts to consider shaving her legs to save her from a lifetime of hardship with the evils of shaving...but I can't decide if I have an age limit for this...

So I'm putting it to the mumsnet jury: AIBU to think that a bikini wax on a 9 year old could be acceptable in certain circumstances?

Outraged - why should people have to be forced to painfully have hair ripped out to avoid bullying and pisstaking?

I was born like a gorilla and was an early developer, but I didn't have pubic hair sticking out everywhere when I was 9. Now I'm 43, it grows halfway down my thighs. Unless I'm having hydrotherapy, I don't mess with it much because I hate the feeling when it's growing back and have really sensitive skin.

I'm 45 and I was teased something rotten at primary for having pubic hair when no one else did.

The only girl who needed a bra would have been teased, but she was also rather tall and strong.

I can well see boarders being very embarrassed.

FromEsme what I'm getting at is, many adults tell their kids one thing and do another blatantly.

What I couldn't understand about my mum was she was so anti shaving and all for the 'be proud of the natural you'.

But when she went to a 'do' like a wedding or a party, she'd put lipstick and power on. She also used to dye her grey hair until she turned about 55...and I sat in the hairdressers with her many times while she had a perm.

So it was ok for her to change the 'natural' you on her terms...but not on mine.

Call me ignorant but do people have hair on their thighs from their pubic region???

Yes. Pubes, from the pubic region, on thighs.

It ain't pretty, and it needs to be waxed.

a "clean" wax...there you go again with your emotive language

you don't even notice it any more, when you are doing it

no 9yo needs to think she isn't "clean" if she doesn't tear her pubic hair out by the roots

ouryve Who's talking about forcing?

I don't think anyone's suggesting forcing a girl to be waxed if they don't want to be

You are taking everything to the extreme AnyFucker. It's unnecessary.

i meant it's 'clean' if someone else does it at a salon and doesn't leave blobs of wax all over you, and cleaner than me sitting on the bathroom floor with cream up my thighs getting it all over the towels, and cleaner than the trail of blood from the nicks all over my shins. i think you have projected wildly there!

I believe that 9yo's waxing their pubes off is "extreme"

No, outraged, it doesn't "need" to be waxed at all.

You're saying you wouldn't force a child, but if you go about talking about hair "needing" to be waxed, of course they're going to hear that and think it is necessary.

Worra, well, yeah, because a lot of people want better for their children than they had themselves. Personally if I had a daughter, I would probably manage to forgo hair removal and dying and so on so that she gets another perspective.

and the justifications for it very weak

and as i said before i'm talking about pubic hair not on the labia but on the thighs and navel. i think you are also being emotive.

spuddy...do you think a 9yo understand the subtleties and differences in language ?

you say "clean" she takes it literally

waxing is clean

ergo, not waxing is dirty

because we are talking about children here

remember ?

outraged - saying that where you are people do the right thing and wax it all off is strongly implying a culture where there would be prejudice against someone who chose to stay hairy.

I remember going on a kayaking trip in my early teens where we had to wear a swimming costume and T-shirt, and all the boys laughed at me because they could see my pubic hair. It was really humiliating, and I would really have appreciated having access to some form of hair removal. It would have been a lot worse if I'd gone through puberty early, or had pubes that extended down my thighs.

I would prefer for my kids to be happy to flaunt their body hair in its natural state, but I don't think that it is fair to expect pubescent girls, who are usually incredibly self-conscious, to be at the forefront of changing society, especially if they have already expressed a desire to wax.

For my daughter, I'd probably go with a ladyshave, as it's cheaper and she would be more in control.

i'm not talking to a 9 yo... or am i?

Worra, well, yeah, because a lot of people want better for their children than they had themselves. Personally if I had a daughter, I would probably manage to forgo hair removal and dying and so on so that she gets another perspective.

Children have a million and one different perspectives around them.

But when it comes to something like this, I think it's personal to them.

If they're stressed/embarrassed about all and sundry seeing their pubic hair when they're made to go swimming with the school, I don't think any parent should put their personal beliefs before the wants of their child.

Of course have the chat with them and tell them all the reasons why you feel it's unnecessary but respect their right to lady shave it off if it's causing them grief.

TheElf and did anyone laugh at their pubic hair? Because most men I know you can see the hair on the stomachs. But I don't see anyone demanding that be removed. In fact, most women (me included) find it attractive.

We are all talking to our children, with every move we make and every idea we impart

No, I'm not a 9yo spuddy, that doesn't strengthen your argument in any way at all

i would use completely different language to a 9 year old from the language used on this thread. as i'm sure everyone would. the word clean like many words is used in different contexts. the way i meant clean was explained. i'm sorry if it was confusing.

if the choice was removal or not then 'clean' wouldn't come into it. if i was describing different methods then it might, as some are messier.

I've remebered that at age 11, I used my step dads razor to shave off my pubic hair.
I had started at a new school, there was 6 weeks left til school year end, then on to secondary school. For reasons known only to themselves, the school put me in the year below as "it doesn't matter/its only for 6 weeks"

I'd forgotten about that. Changing for pe IN the classroom with boys in yr 5, meh. When YOU are yr6 its orrible.

at the same time I also shaved off a short bit of hair on my head because it stuck up funny .... Stuck up even funnier after that

I think the focus in society today about how a woman's pubic hair should or should not look is just really sad in general, especially when it starts as young as nine. Personally, I really don't see why any woman would want the whole of her pubic hair off, but I won't judge you if you do.

I think what needs to be addressed is the REASONS WHY a young girl would want her pubic hair trimmed off. I could see the reasons why if they are wearing a swimming suit and their hair is showing, which is just embarrassing generally as it feels that a private part of you is being exposed (to me anyway), but because they are getting bullied is really upsetting. It's not upsetting that a girl might want to trim her pubic hair to stop bullying, because no-one wants to be bullied, but the actual bullying that's taking place is upsetting. Such a natural thing and all part of growing up, but children are made to feel so different because of it.

I went with my school friend at 10 for a leg wax because she was embarrassed by her leg hair/we had all started shaving so she was getting teased (not by me!) for not doing it..Her mum didn't want her to shave which she would have done had the teasing gone on much longer because it fucks your legs up. Bit different to a bikini wax but I guess tis the same sort of notion.

Personally I would rather take my dd for a wax than have her hack herself with a razor like I did (still have a few scars). Perhaps not at nine.. seems a little young. 14/15 sounds about right to me. Just my opinion. I don't like hair down there, period blood and pee sticks too it, its just gross- never had hair down there.

It's not "gross", thanks. No wonder so many women and girls feel pressured into removing it when other women call a part of their body "gross".

By the way, loving you on this thread FromEsme