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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not take this job after a 7 year career break?

163 replies

princessnumber2 · 18/12/2012 21:48

Got offered a job today and need to make a decision by tomorrow. It's a job with good career prospects in an area I want to get into. Full time salary is £30k. I haven't had a job for the last 7 years (have been ill/had ill child/done some academic courses/bits of training and numerous voluntary roles). Role is full time. I asked if they would let me do it part time and they said no. I have a 6 year old and a one year old.

Because of commute and lack of nursery places, I think the only option would be a nanny which would wipe out most/all of my earnings.

I don't need to work for financial reasons (husband earns very good salary, works full time and travels a lot with work). All money is split equally and no question of any earnings being 'his' as we both believe we contribute equally to the partnership. His job requires very flexible childcare which we probably wouldn't have been able to buy had I not done it. However, I am definitely concerned about the loss of my career (I gave up work to care for my daughter when she was very ill).

Basically it's the old classic, part time would be great but they're not up for it. So, how hard is it working full time with a one year old and a six year old and AIBU to turn it down because it would put a pretty big strain on our family for almost no financial reward?

(And yes he is willing to go part time but as he loves his job and earns loads doing it, I do feel harsh making him reduce his hours for me to take a much lower paid job that, while it has potential, is certainly not my dream job.)

The alternative is that I continue to do voluntary work and maybe a bit of freelance and just continue to build up my CV till the kids are a bit older.

please be kind. have never done an AIBU before...

OP posts:
HoleyGhost · 18/12/2012 21:50

It is a chance that is unlikely to come again, take it.

Look into childminders too

AmandaCooper · 18/12/2012 21:52

Can't you give it a go and see how you find it? It sounds like a great opportunity and you never know where things will lead.

StanleyLambchop · 18/12/2012 21:52

If you don't want it, I'll have it. People are crying out for jobs, you are in a very lucky position if you can turn down 30K.

DorsetKnobwithJingleBellsOn · 18/12/2012 21:54

Then let someone who wants and NEEDS it take it.

notsofrownieface · 18/12/2012 21:55

What really have you got to lose? If you take it and it doesn't work out, well you tried. If you do not take it will you regret it?

housesalehelp · 18/12/2012 21:57

I agree look into CMs - or possibly a nanny share - and my experinces is that once you have been in a job for a while people are often prepared to be more flexaible - could your DH work 4 days a week - for perhaps the first couple of months while you get into the job - and have you asked about flexi time - I do a 9 day fornight or work from home -as that can help a lot and sometimes people are prepared to go for that instead of part time

PrincessScrumpy · 18/12/2012 21:58

Can you try and then after 6 months, when you know the job better, ask for a job share under flexible working laws?

VBisme · 18/12/2012 21:59

I was very taken with a recent thread about how important it is not to give up your financial independence, and I agreed wholeheartedly.
Take the job, you don't know what the future holds.

AKissIsNotAContract · 18/12/2012 22:00

I think you should take it.

BarceyDussell · 18/12/2012 22:01

I wouldnt have/didnt put my one year old in full time childcare if i didnt need to work. No way.

Depends on your view of putting dc in full time childcare though, if that doesnt bother you then i cpuld see why you would want to do it

CaptainVonTrapp · 18/12/2012 22:03

AIBU to turn it down because it would put a pretty big strain on our family for almost no financial reward

No of course YANBU to do this.

Do you want the job or just feel you should take it? Have you looked for work or just been offered this? Could it be that there is something more suitable available if you looked?

Hobbitation · 18/12/2012 22:03

I think the only way to do it is with a nanny. FT would be better than doing 4 days I'd say. Have a go and see how it works out.

McChristmasPants2012 · 18/12/2012 22:04

I would financal inderpendance is important to me. Anything could happen and i like the thought that if DH was made redundant or developed an illness meaning he wasn't able to work, the bills could still be paid

Original poster
princessnumber2 · 18/12/2012 22:05

Thanks for the replies.

I do realise I'm very lucky and I know a lot of people myself who would jump at it. But it's a very specialised/highly skilled area and not necessarily an option for a lot of people.

Also it's not turning down 30k. After tax, travel and childcare costs for the length of day I would need to do with a long commute, I wouldn't really earn anything. I don't mind that, the question I am asking is, is it worth the strain on a family with 2 parents working full time if it doesn't make a difference financially? I know many women working 'to keep their foot in the door' and I'm asking if you've done this and if you would do it if you didn't have to. Or if you have had a long career break, managed to get back in, or not taken a chance to get back in and regretted it?

There are other issues I alluded to (like my own and my kids' health issues). Didn't want to make post even longer and they're not really the main point.

I don't want to offend anyone with talk of salary levels. The amount is irrelevant really as it's cancelled out by costs.

OP posts:
Hobbitation · 18/12/2012 22:08

I suppose it depends how much you will enjoy the job, you don't know that until you've tried it.

Original poster
princessnumber2 · 18/12/2012 22:13

Sorry cross posted there as one year old woke up.

I saw that thread about financial independence too. That's why I want to work. Plus feeling like I am using my skills and training.

Nanny share is a good idea. I will look into that. I think a childminder wouldn't work because of the hours. DH travels a lot and often at short notice so even if he was working less hours a week, he might not be in the country anyway IYSWIM.

I think they would be quite flexible in terms of compressed hours, 9 day fortnight etc so perhaps that is an option.

I feel a bit daft for not thinking of just trying it and jacking it in if it doesn't work out Wink. I suppose I forgot I would be allowed to leave...

OP posts:
Bakingnovice · 18/12/2012 22:24

Yanbu.

janey68 · 18/12/2012 23:11

I would take it, you may love it and be relieved to be back in work after 7 years out of it. The issue of childcare cancelling out earnings wouldnt be a deal breaker (I worked for no net gain with 2 kids) Because there are so many aspects of working which aren't just about the cash.

I think if you don't go for it you could regret it, whereas if you go for it and it doesn't turn out well, at least you've got recent experience which will help you find something else. I think realistically it's not going to be easy after so long out of the workplace so I wouldn't pass this over

Dozer · 18/12/2012 23:15

I know several people who went FT for a year or two then, once established in the job, reduced their hours. If it doesn't work out you could quit.

But commuting is shit, I do this 3 days, and not great combined with small DC.

A nanny might be a good plan initially, to take the pressure off, see how things go.

Dozer · 18/12/2012 23:17

I do think though that if your DH cannot/will not alter his work pattern, and you have to continue to cover stuff at home as you have been doing, it will be v difficult in practice for you to work and commute FT. Is he supportive?

DueInSeptember · 18/12/2012 23:17

I am guessing you have specialist skills/experience/ education and that is why they have offered you the job? Are you likely to come across this type of thing again? Would they be prepared to consider you in the future, because of your specialism?

Rudolphstolemycarrots · 18/12/2012 23:33

I don't think I could leave the 1 year old, but thats me.

Startail · 18/12/2012 23:40

Do it! I have been a SAHM for 14 years. I had DD1 with no post university work experience.

Despite my education, I'd be lucky to get min wage in Tesco.

DF went back full time, she hated it and gave up. But she is now finding freelance personal work.

I'd take it, you never know what doors it will open.

Original poster
princessnumber2 · 19/12/2012 00:01

Thanks for the replies.

DH is very supportive and v keen for me to do something I enjoy. He would be willing to drop his hours to accommodate this but it would have a massive impact not just on his career but on our lifestyle, financial security etc.

I do have specialist skills. I think with training and very focused voluntary work I could potentially keep my hand in without such a huge impact on the family. I was worried about how long I'd been out of a proper job so started looking about 2-3 months ago and got this. (I applied, I wasn't headhunted). I didn't expect to get anything so quickly tbh and appreciate I've been v lucky. I think I could get another chance at something like this but I suppose you never know. It's hard to judge whether it's a bit of a fluke or a sign of employability.

I'm not keen at all to put the one year old in full time childcare (but certainly not judging anyone who chooses to or has to)

I realise you just can't have it all but wondered how many people with very young kids choose to both work full time if they don't have to?

I did think that I might have to go back full time and then try and reduce hours later but this has come earlier than I expected (which I appreciate is a fortunate situation to be in). I just can't quite bear the idea of full time, a commute and hardly seeing the kids in the week.

Why aren't there more part time jobs? I know so many people at home who are doctors, lawyers, engineers etc and they're not working at all simply because they can't get anything part time. Such a waste.

Sorry will stop rambling. Thanks a lot for all your responses. Smile

OP posts:
Wandastartup · 19/12/2012 00:04

Depending on where in the country you are that salary wouldn't pay for a nanny. If they earn £10 an hour net for a 10 hour day( 9-5 with a commute) you're looking at over £2700 per month for a nanny. That's out of taxed income.