to be upset over my christmas present before I've even opened it

[happyinherts]

DH went out with his christmas bonus today to buy us (me, DD, and DS) a little something for christmas.

DD and DS already have presents bought jointly from us. Anyway while I was at work he has wrapped them and placed under tree. I spot mine labelled 'to mum' - and I'm quite upset about it although not mentioned it and whatever is inside may be really really lovely - it's boxed shaped at the moment.

Am I being a selfish stupid bitch or would you be upset if your DH labelled your present in this way??

I may not even get my present wrapped! At least yours is.

Mine is in the boot of DH's car. He had an operation last week - supposed to recuperate this week (and wrap said present) but he was rushed back into hospital on Sunday with complications and I doubt he will be out before the weekend and be well enough to wrap it (which is bothering him greatly).

Just say to him you are offended about the "mum" thing and can he redo the label.

But Everlong I said that because I'm used to you being a 'normal' poster, we've both been here for yonks, and the last few weeks I've seen you posting stuff I'd not expect from you - quite surprising things, like you did on this thread.

It was a really aggressive post. It looksed like you were just putting the boot in for the joy of it.

I don't understand what would motivate you to do that.

I have read relevant posts now, Happy. Still don't get what the problem is. Why is "mum" classed as a swear word? Like "oh she looks like a mum", "she's very mumsy". Why is it wrong to be called a mum?

The way I see it, you'll be opening your presents with your children, so why not write "mum"?

Anyway. Going back to you OP and answering the last paragraph directly, yes you are. No I wouldn't.

My dp calls me fats after Fatima whitbread.

DecAndAnt Not everyone thinks she's BU...

I didn't see the post to be fair but surely everlong has explained herself by now?

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad Everlong. That's kind of what I thought...it sounded like you weren't feeling Ok.

I do it too - I come on here and find something to get cross about and let rip. Then I feel ashamed or sometimes it takes someone else saying 'Oy, that was out of order' for me to notice I have done it.

I hope things improve for you soon. I can't recall on which threads I've raised my eyebrows at your posts, I'm sorry, nothing truly appalling, just, you seemed antsy, and I had to check it was really you as it didn't sound like you. iykwim x

everlong..i like being called mammy bear

and i am sorry you are having a bad time!

Happy
I can see where you're coming from. I wonder if the reason it has touched a nerve is more to do with the fact that deep down you see yourself as no longer the 'fun, sassy person' he married etc and his offhand label has brought those feelings to the surface. if you were genuinely happy with your identity would it really have bugged you quite as much?

Personally i wouldnt bother talking to him about it, it may be more useful to spend some time thinking about how you see yourself, who you want to be and how to achieve that. He can change the label if you tell him to but id rather be in a position where my happiness didnt depend on someone else's view of me.

Good grief, talk about first world problem! Life's too short, really it is. Just read a thread in Bereavement or look at the news.

Perhaps the OP didn't realise she had to run her post through your "serious-o-meter" prior to posting. Heaven forbid that people ever discuss non life threatening issues.

FlimFlamMerrilyOnHigh
Remind yourself of your post on here next time you complain of something 'trivial'.
There are always worse tragedies.

"I think you should book a romantic break ina luxury hotel, splash out on lovely underwear, a neglige, some spa treatments and leave him with the very clear impression that you aren't his mum."

Pointless as he doesn't see he has done anything to imply he thinks the OP his mother.

"When you have been married 26 years - the name 'mum' is hardly mentioned in the house because your 'children' are out to work and doing their own thing - and for the first time ever your present from your DH is labelled to 'Mum' - noting they don't have a mother themselves, I'm sorry but I do think you'd be upset."

Lightbulb! Maybe as your children are not there as much he is concerned you are missing the constant Mummmmmmmmmm and maybe he was trying to be nice..

My DH once gave me a Christmas card signed from his first name and his surname. I did take the piss and ask him if I thought I wouldn't know who it's from. Relax and let it go over your head.

wish my ex would buy me a present from dd since I brought one for him from her. Tight git.

I agree with whoever it was that said if you've been together for that long why cant you just call him on it?

If my DP done this id say "why have you wrote 'to mum' on my present" then laugh at him.

Lose the tag.

Sorry not reading 10 pages but whats the problem? To mum - is as it is from dh or if its from the dc then surely adressing it to mum/ mummy/ mother of the house is appropriate???

OP have you pulled your DH up on this yet? Just ask him. I've bought my own presents this year along with everyone else's and will be wrapping my own too :(

Rosa - if you are happy with your husband writing a tag on your present to Mum when it's a present from him alone - that is fine.