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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To still be a bit pissed off at this woman from a wedding?

157 replies

HopingItllBeOK · 15/12/2012 15:58

on Wednesday, 2 dear friends got married. It was a very child friendly wedding as the groom is a big kid himself with 2 of the happy couple's children as bridesmaids. There was quite a high proportion of children there as anyone who knew the couple well would know there would be, they are big on family and big get togethers for the kids to play together.

The bar was in a separate room off to the side of the reception room and provided the perfect place to take smaller children who were getting a bit fractious with the hustle and bustle of the main room and give them a bit of space to run around. There was a step down to a door with a ramp going along the side which created a little nook which had a table with a sofa and a couple of chairs in it.

After the meal and speeches, my 12 year old was chasing my 15 month old and a friends 2 year old round the loop created by the step and ramp. My friend and I were both standing close by supervising them and at one point the 2 year old let out an over excited squeal to which my friend told her not to squeal, so we were obviously monitoring them.

A woman was sitting at the table in the nook and shouted at my 12 year old "WILL you stop running around! It is disturbing my conversation!" quite sharply. DS apologised to her and of course we gathered up the little ones and moved back to the main room while she glared at us, but I am still a bit pissed off tbh. There was another little room off to the other side of the reception room which was perfect for quiet adult conversation but wasn't suitable for small children as it had an open fire but this was the only place children could safely let off a bit of steam as by this point we were 5 hours into the day which included a long church service, 3 course meal and speeches.

I'm not entirely sure if I am pissed off at her for shouting at my kids when a quiet word with either of the supervising parents standing right by her would have done the job, or a little worried that I have become that parent who lets their kid run riot Hmm I completely understand that children circling where you are sitting can be a bit very annoying, especially if you aren't used to small children but as I said, knowing the couple it was obvious that there would be masses of children at the wedding and given the length of the day that most of those children were far too young to be expected to sit quietly all the time. I feel like I should defend myself by saying that when the 2 younger ones on our table made anything more than a fleeting noise, my friend and I took them out to the bar area during the meal and kept them out there for the speeches so they wouldn't disturb it.

So, was IBU for letting the kids have a run around or was she U for shouting at kids being kids?

OP posts:
baskingseals · 16/12/2012 17:08

well you are taking it a bit too seriously.

a 12 yo is not too old to run around. the other mum had ticked the one off for squealing - from what i have read they weren't behaving badly, just having a bit of fun.

baskingseals · 16/12/2012 17:09

totally agree with Ceres.

baskingseals · 16/12/2012 17:15

oh sorry - read that wrong - i prefer weddings with children

HopingItllBeOK · 16/12/2012 17:48

SpecialAgentKat just for you, I will repeat what I said before. The toddlers were running around the dance floor with their mothers chasing them to keep them out from underfoot of people crossing from one side of the room to the other. A passing member of staff pointed to the side part of the room that had the bar in it and said they could run around over there and wouldn't be in anyone's way and we wouldn't have to stalk them so closely.

I have never said the area was signposted as a running area, how absurd. I also never said it was officially designated as an area for toddlers to run around. I have no idea if the member of staff was management. They were wearing the same uniform as the rest of the venue staff and I didn't notice a name badge which may have indicated their job title, since i was keeping an eye on my toddler. I have no clue about the H&S implications of pointing out an empty part of the venue as somewhere for toddlers to toddle, although if it makes any difference, the nearest end of the bar was around 10 feet away from the closest point the children came to it in their circuit.

I did quite categorically state several times that the children were not yelling, screaming, screeching or squealing (beyond the first excited squeal which was stopped straight away) so I am unsure why I am being told I am unreasonable for letting my children thud around and make a din. similarly, I have stated that the children were the opposite end of the room to the bar and nowhere near the route anyone would be taking with a glass in their hand and my friend and I were standing between the children and the bar in case of an escapee, so I don't think the accusations that I was leaving my infant run around out of control between the legs of pissed up adults carrying glasses are called for either.

Tell me I'm unreasonable for what I have stated happened by all means, but please don't have a pop at me about what other people have erroneously assumed happened, despite my posting to the contrary.

OP posts:
HopingItllBeOK · 16/12/2012 17:49

Sorry, only the first two paragraphs of that were directed at SAK. the rest was a general response.

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 16/12/2012 18:47

You thought the hotel bar was the ideal place for them to run around?
You are either joking, or have zero self awareness. Hmm YABVU.

SpecialAgentKat · 16/12/2012 21:15

Thank you for answering my question Hoping. Xmas Smile

I'm very surprised a staff member would be stupid enough to say that aand point to the bar/bar area.

Well, in this time of recession I'm sure he won't last long and someone with a bit of sense who won't make the place liable will get a job!

Anyway, as it's been awhile now I do think you should move on.

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