To not want to circumcise my son?

[SkiBunnnnny]

I have a 10 day old baby son. Being from the UK it would never normally cross my mind to have him circumcised. However, I am living in Canada where the practice is more common (but not as common as in the US) but on the decline.

DH wants to have him circumcised as he is half Jewish (so DS is 1/4 Jewish) but I feel like I don't want to put DS through an unnecessary medical procedure for purely cosmetic reasons. DH also thinks it is cleaner but I think this is irrelevant in the 21st century when we have indoor plumbing and can easily wash ourselves every day. I also feel that it is not our body to make a decision like that about, if he wants to get himself circumcised in the future he can but he can not get himself "de-circumcised" if he is unhappy about it in the future (DH doesn't believe that any circumcised men wish that they weren't).

My question is: AIBU to force my opinion or is DH opinion more valid since he is male?

I agree with you op. seems a bloody stupid thing to do unless medically advised.

Erm, DH's opinion isn't more valid because he is male, that's a stupid argument.

I agree with you, for the record, I think circumcision is totally unnecessary and barbaric but since it's acceptable in the country you're in it's probably something you're going to have to decide between yourselves.

The absolute dealbreaker for me BTW if this ever came up in my life is the fact that in most hospitals they don't use anaesthetic, and in the ones that do, what they use is barely stronger than calpol. (And the strongest one is delivered by injection which has to be painful in itself). No way could I put my newborn baby through that unless absolutely medically necessary.

Yes I really agree with you Op. YANBU.

Saying that I don't agree with the practiceof ccircumcision at all.

Also, DS isn't Jewish unless you are, because it comes down the mother's line. You can't be half or a quarter Jewish, you are or you're not.

It is extremely painful, it is wholly medically/hygienically unnecessary, so YANBU to object. At all.

Well, are you practising Jews? Surely your relatives' religion shouldn't matter in the slightest if you don't uphold those beliefs yourselves.

God, no!

Please don't do that to your baby

This is a bit TMI, but the foreskin is quite sensitive and dear to a chap as a wank tool

I wouldn't remove it unnecessarily.

However: circumcision does reduce the transmission of HIV by 30%!

Yanbu.

I have a baby ds. If anyone was to hurt him unless absolutely medically essential I would poke pins in their eyes.

There is no need for an otherwise healthy penis to have bits chopped from it.

Just no. No is a complete sentence.

It isn't needing, there is no medical need for it, and it can kill. You wipe an intact penis like you do a finger, just wipe it - hardly worth a operation for the effort of.

Please leave your son intact.

Check out Saving Our Sons for support when a father wants to circ and a mother doesn't.

Ultimately, YOU get the final say because you are his mother. Remember that.

YANBU. I wouldn't. I think your dh's Jewish thing is a bit of a red herring too, Judaism is passed on the maternal line, no synagogue would recognise your son as Jewish..

Abit: that's a myth.

If you do a Jewish circumcision the doc won't cut the foreskin off. They cut the frenulum and the foreskin rolls back a bit but is still there. It doesn't hurt the baby because you put anaesthetic cream on before. Well, I assume it doesn't hurt the baby because my ds didn't cry. I also found it a very difficult decision to make.

Please don't vandalise perfection.

The liberal movement would recognise your son as Jewish if he has been circumcised

YANBU - this mutilation should never be performed for non-medical reasons. The arguments about cleanliness are rubbish - boys just need to learn to wash themselves properly. It makes me really, really angry that circumcision is carried out for "religious" reasons. Please protect your son - as you say, he can make his own decision later in life.

that's a really hard one. my husband is jewish, im not, we have spoken about it a bit but it never gets resolved. i guess we will decide if we ever have a boy. maybe do a bit of research together on the internet. reading some of the horror stories might put him off?!

SkiBunnnnny - send your dh to talk to my father who is now 70 y.o. and is still angry and bitter towards his dead parents who allowed him to be circumcised at a few days old.

The first thing my father said to me on learning I had given birth to a boy was "don't let the hospital circumcise him!"

My father will happily tell you dh that he is talking bollocks, there is no medical proof that the removal of the foreskin is more hygienic.

Bessie it may not hurt at the time (so you say) but what about afterwards when the cream or whatever wears off? Why on earth do it when there is no need ?

Bessie babies that don't cry are in shock :(

Santa: no, it isn't.

I was surprised to find that the foreskin has Isles of Langerhans (similar to the pancreas) which house white blood cells waiting to ingest 'intruders' (STIs).

So it does follow that the virus uses this to enter the host.

I feel so angry that people still do this in the name of religion or culture. How can religion and culture ethically evolve if people keep doing this? Drives me crazy.

I think you need to do what you feel is right. Your husband is being rediculous if he thinks by having a circumcision your son will become more Jewish. Like someone before said, the Jewish religion travels down the Mothers line. Also my mother is Jewish and she didn't get my brother circumcised because she thought it was a horrible tradition, if a Jewish woman can do this then I'm sure you can too.

Don't be so ridiculous, I think I would know if my child were in shock. He is completely fine. Of course I thought this through carefully and looked at all the arguments for and against, rather than making blind judgements like most of you are doing. It's easy to say deny a child his cultural identity just don't 'mutilate' him, that is a simplistic argument that negates the idea of community