To not want to circumcise my son?

[SkiBunnnnny]

I have a 10 day old baby son. Being from the UK it would never normally cross my mind to have him circumcised. However, I am living in Canada where the practice is more common (but not as common as in the US) but on the decline.

DH wants to have him circumcised as he is half Jewish (so DS is 1/4 Jewish) but I feel like I don't want to put DS through an unnecessary medical procedure for purely cosmetic reasons. DH also thinks it is cleaner but I think this is irrelevant in the 21st century when we have indoor plumbing and can easily wash ourselves every day. I also feel that it is not our body to make a decision like that about, if he wants to get himself circumcised in the future he can but he can not get himself "de-circumcised" if he is unhappy about it in the future (DH doesn't believe that any circumcised men wish that they weren't).

My question is: AIBU to force my opinion or is DH opinion more valid since he is male?

Please don't get him circumcised!

It didn't hurt him, it wasn't barbaric and I bet most if not all of you have no idea at all what the process involves

The Kenyan and South African governments are pushing circumcision as a solution to HIV:

How Does Circumcision Help Prevent HIV Transmission?

The majority of men who are HIV positive become infected through the penis during sexual contact. Recent studies have proven conclusively that uncircumcised men are at a much greater risk of becoming infected with HIV than men who are circumcised. In some studies, infection rate was 50 percent less in circumcised men. Experts offered several possible reasons why circumcision offers protection against HIV infection:
the inner surface of the foreskin has a very high concentration of cells containing HIV receptors that act has a portal into the body when exposed to HIV-infected bodily fluids such as semen.
the foreskin traps HIV in a moist environment near the surface of the penis, allowing the HIV to live longer
small foreskin tears that may occur during intercourse provide an entryway for the virus.

I used to get very upset at the thought of circumcision, and whilst on the whole I am agin it, it doesn't push red buttons the way it used to . If it isn't necessary, why do it?

Bessie, how could cutting off one of the most sensitive parts of someone's body not hurt? I don't understand. Perhaps you could enlighten us to the process so that we may be less ignorant.

If he feels that he wants to be circumcised when he is older he can discuss it with you and ask for it.

If he decides as an adult he can book himself in.

As a baby he can't choose so as there is no need he should be left unharmed and uncut.

So Bessie if this offends, but I could never attend a bris. It looks agony. Is it true the Rabbi uses his FINGERNAIL?

I do because most of my male family members are circumcised, they don't remember. It doesn't make it right to perform a procedure that a person has no say over, which will change their (perfect) body forever. I feel the same way about ear peircing young babies/children.

And the 'research' that was conducted for them to draw those conclusions was flawed, and not even completed. There are numerous places full of information about how it is bollocks.

It is a horrific procedure carried out on vulnerable babies.

It is THEIR BODY. You have no right to decide whether to remove a part of it, whatever reasoning you attempt to you.

Would your circumcise a daughter?

Would you remove any other part of a childs body because you thought it would be 'cleaner', or because a book written hundreds of years ago told you that you should?

Please think about it logically.

Not your body: not your choice.

I think traditionally a frummer rabbi uses his fingernail but I got a gp to do it. He did a little ceremony at the same time. My ds cried when his clothes came off because it was cold but calmed done after a few seconds. When he was calm the doc made a quick, small cut on the frenulum. He did not cry at all at this, he was completely calm. If you have read my previous posts, he didn't cut the foreskin off - it is still there but a bit of it is rolled back.

I'm not suggesting I was completely happy with the idea of circumcision by any means but in retrospect I'm glad I did it for him. I don't think that leaving my ds to decide for himself is really a viable option because it's a lot bigger deal as an adult than as a week old baby.

I try to be open-minded about different types of parenting but I will never understand why someone would want to cut a piece off their baby. YANBU, OP- of course you want to defend your tiny son from a completely unnecessary and painful procedure.

Congrats on your new baby btw :)

It might be a bigger deal but it is an INFORMED deal with consent and therefore morally okay. How is unnecessary surgery on a baby morally ok?

I am not Jewis but I never considered this for any of my sons.

Surely the risk of getting HIV is only riskier for uncircumcised men if they are also not practising safe sex? Is it not better to educate your sons to use condoms rather than just arbitrarily cutting off their foreskin at birth because then they are 30% less likely to get HIV through unprotected sex?

What made me decide to circumcise in the end was that I thought I would feel sad if my ds completely rejected his Jewish heritage as an adult. After so many were killed in the holocaust and other persecutions through the years it was important to me that he feel he has a cultural identity. I realised that by not circumcising him I was taking away that cultural identity from him

Because it would be too distressing as an adult, right?

So how the hell is it okay to do THAT to a baby?

Oh, and here is a list of things through time that circumcision was supposed to prevent:

1832 Claude-Francois Lallemand circumcises a patient to cure him from nocturnal seminal emissions.

• 1845 Edward H. Dixon declares that circumcision prevents masturbation.

• 1855 Johnathon Hutchinson publishes his theory that circumcision prevents syphilis.

• 1865 Nathaniel Heckford claims that circumcision cures epilepsy.

• 1870 Lewis A. Sayre publishes a paper 'proving' that circumcision cures epilepsy.

• 1870 Lewis A. Sayre declares that circumcision prevents spinal paralysis.

• 1871 M.J. Moses declares that Jews are immune to masturbation because of circumcision.

• 1873 Joseph Bell announces his discovery that circumcision cures bed wetting.

• 1875 Lewis A. Sayre declares that foreskin causes curvature of the spine, paralysis of the bladder, and clubfoot.

• 1879 H.H. Kane 'discovers' that circumcision cures nocturnal emissions and abdominal neuralgia.

• 1881 Maximillian Landesburg announces that circumcision cures eye problems that he believed were caused by masturbation.

• 1886 William G. Eggleston declares that foreskin causes crossed eyes.

• 1888 John Harvey Kellogg promotes circumcision as punishment for boys to discourage them from masturbating.

• 1890 William D. Gentry declares that circumcision cures blindness, deafness and dumbness.

• 1891 Johnathan Hutchinson declares that foreskin encourages boys to masturbate.

• 1893 Mark J. Lehman demands immediate implementation of mass circumcision of all American boys.

Full list here. You'll notice lots of them are to do with masturbation. The rest just seem crazy. Because there is no medical need.

YANBU. We are Jewish, but if either of my girls had turned out to be boys I would have refused. Funnily enough, while DH has little regard for any part of Jewish tradition and isn't remotely observant, he would have wanted boys circumcised. So, don't care about eating pork but suddenly need to follow tradition when it involves mutilating your child?

schnapps morals are subjective. You may feel that what I did is morally wrong but I do not. Quite the opposite.

Not just a religious thing, in many western Christian countries it is the norm and recommended often by doctors as a health issue. Why not speak to a doctor about your concerns to get all sides of the situation.

We circumcised our son, a mohel did it. We used an anaesthetic cream and the finger I used to apply it was totally numb for 6 hours afterwards, I could have cut my finger and not felt it. Baby cried while it was done but briefly and was totally normal afterwards, I have described it that if I hadn't been there and known something had happened I would never have guessed from his behaviour. He continued to feed and sleep as usual. He did cry a bit on the first pee but he wasn't distressed at all. He has cried far more from immunisations. Babies in shock cry, a baby doesn't have the emotional capacity to internalise trauma. I am glad we did this, it was the right choice for us. We are Jewish, gave our baby a Jewish name and I didn't think any Jewish man would thank his mother for not circumcising him, I felt it would make things difficult for him later in life. I think the mother has to be the one who can live with this decision, one way or the other, don't let your husband talk you into it, make sure it is your choice.

DrMama blog on circumcising boys

Includes medical facts.

www.drmomma.org/2009/09/functions-of-foreskin-purposes-of.html

Is likely to upset misguided parents who have already abused their children in this way but ought to be read by anyone who is interested in the debate.

YANBU. Unnecessary medical procedure at best, genital mutilation at worst.

Dear Lord, the evil that has been done in the name of 'religion' (and I mean any religion) makes me so very angry.

Its bit the norm in the UK. And the thought of anyone causing my baby pain even now he's a bit more bouncy and robust makes me

Remember you can't put it back on if he doesn't like being circumcised when he's older but he can always choose to have it done later.

I would never ever consider circumcising my DS's unless there was a medical reason. I think it is a wierd thing to do. It is hard to imagine how the practise first started. What have willies got to do with religion. I understand religions wanting their followers to dress modestly or whatever but I don't understand the importance of a bit of skin.

If I were wanting to maintain a little Jewish cultural identity in a child I would do it another way such as celebrating the wonderful Jewish Holidays and Festivals.

Correct thread this time

Information about the functions of the foreskin:
sites.google.com/site/completebaby/prepuce

I had my DS circumcised at 8 days old and he was absolutely fine. He cried when his clothes came off too, but soon calmed down. He didn't cry at all when the cut was made and he didn't cry after when I changed his nappy. He was fine and a few days later it was all healed. I can understand people not wanting to do it, but if you are Jewish it is absolutely central to a boy's relationship with his religion. It was a difficult day for me and DH (and DS too I am sure you're all thinking) but I would never want to deny him his place in our community. I am not a monster and neither are the millions of Jewish mothers over the world that circumcise their sons.

I don't see the point of having a perfectly healthy baby and then cutting bits off it to appease "them" Why should society, or anyone else, and I do include his father in this, be able to decide that a tiny baby needs to have part of his body removed surgically for no real reason?