To not want to circumcise my son?

[SkiBunnnnny]

I have a 10 day old baby son. Being from the UK it would never normally cross my mind to have him circumcised. However, I am living in Canada where the practice is more common (but not as common as in the US) but on the decline.

DH wants to have him circumcised as he is half Jewish (so DS is 1/4 Jewish) but I feel like I don't want to put DS through an unnecessary medical procedure for purely cosmetic reasons. DH also thinks it is cleaner but I think this is irrelevant in the 21st century when we have indoor plumbing and can easily wash ourselves every day. I also feel that it is not our body to make a decision like that about, if he wants to get himself circumcised in the future he can but he can not get himself "de-circumcised" if he is unhappy about it in the future (DH doesn't believe that any circumcised men wish that they weren't).

My question is: AIBU to force my opinion or is DH opinion more valid since he is male?

The men in my husbands family are circumcised (the norm in the country we live when they grew up rather than religious reasons).
My DH did make a bit of a face when I said that if our children were boys I was against them being circumcised (nephews are), I gave him my (researched) point of view and said that he was free to undertake similar research and come back to me to have a discussion. He never did and DS is uncircumcised. If he ever needed to be for medical reasons, of course I would not step in his way.
And my arguement for the 'matching' idea that (in my opinion) men ridiculously get was that how far do we go? Do we dye our child's hair to match his Dads? Do we make him wear coloured contact lenses? I mean if we are going to cut of some skin to make him match that is normally covered by pants and trousers, surely it makes much more sense to dye his hair to match as that is on show everyday? Exactly - a totally ridiculous point of view when you think about it.
As you can probably tell, I am of the opinion that unless it is medically needed it is cosmetic surgery. And to undertake cosmetic surgery on a baby....well, do I even need to finish that sentence?

Thank you ZZZenAgain that's pretty much what I was thinking as well.

I think that I will tell my DH I just can't go through with it, I know I would feel too guilty if I didn't stick up for him.

Whichever of our more or less reasoned arguments you find helpful to strengthen your resolve to not let your DS be circumcised, you just hang on to that.
Good luck.

this baby bled to death after Yanbu.

Given that your husbands wants your DS to undergo a procedure which is neither religiously or medically necessary and you want to maintain the status quo I think you do get the final say here. He wants to take an action whereas you want things to stay the same.

Would you have your baby tattooed? That could be removed. Circumcision can't be reversed.

I wouldn't date, sleep with or marry a man with an imaginary friend anyway but if I'd inadvertently done so and that man rediscovered his imaginary friend to the point he wanted to mutiliate my baby I would leave him on the spot and hit him with every legal restriction going. It is fucking disgraceful that people are allowed to hurt and cut and pierce their little babies' bodies in the name of some primitive point-at-the-sky shit-eating 'cultures'. whichever one it is. Anyone who does this sort of thing should be locked up.

Question is does the man resent not having a foreskin or, for that matter, perceive it as abuse by his parents?

Surely, solidgoldwhatever, you would not have every single Jewish parent up on a charge of child abuse because of a minor procedure performed as a baby? The mothers in these families are, on balance, more likely to breastfeed; more likely to educate their children; and more likely to achieve than their non-Jewish contemporaries.

You can call it child abuse but I call it a harmless procedure that they will never remember and will never affect them.

I find it strange that someone would purposely inflict pain on a child in the name of religion. I'm CofE and if my religon required me to do that to my child, i simply wouldn't.

Don't worry it's SGB's thing. Attention seeking and tries to be as controversial as possible. Ignore.

Verbatim: So you think it's OK to chop up children's genitalia in the name of an imaginary friend? That's disgusting, calling people on it and pointing out that it's child abuse is not.

Froth, froth, spit, spit.

No you aren't Jewish so your son isn't Jewish. don't do it

People who do harm to others on ridiculous tribal superstitious grounds are not worthy of respect.

Never be afraid to protect your baby, if as an adult your son chooses to have his foreskin hacked off he will be fully entitled to do so. Nobody has the right to do that to a defenseless newborn, I agree with SolidGold, it's child abuse and it's disgusting.

If we were talking about cutting a bit of skin from female genitals, it would be recognised as abusive and wrong because it has never become so common in western society to be tolerated as socially acceptable. Just because a behaviour is widely practiced doesn't make it any less wrong.

If you do go through with it please get it done in a hospital and don't let a rabbi do it. The rabbi uses his mouth to suck the blood off the penis and liitle baby boys have died from herpes passed on in newyork where there are large Jewish communities

Santa that is grim on so many levels

No comment on the procedure as people have strong views but you should get to decide- a small degree of hygiene (according to your DH) is no reason for you to have to do this to your baby.

OP, I'm not going to read through all the posts on this thread. I've read the opinions back and forth before many times. I suggest that you head over to youtube and you search circumcision. Watch the videos. Tell your husband what you think and then have him watch the videos. Your little boy is perfect as he is and if he has no medical need for this, then it is just that - unnecessary.

Good Luck OP

And this ^ makes me happy I'm an athiest.
And can we get on to the subject of mutilation of girls, all in the name of religion.
Would you put your daughter through that BigW?

That should say large orthodox communities, I'm not sure if that makes a difference or not