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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel sorry for the Australian DJs?

921 replies

andapartridgeinaRowantree · 08/12/2012 00:38

Obviously more sorry for the nurse's family. I wonder how long she was having suicidal thoughts for? I can't think this could have been the only cause,

But these pranks have been going on for such a long time and those DJs could not have predicted such a result and are going to have to live with it for the rest of their lives.

It's such a tragedy and I feel very sad for all concerned.

OP posts:
HeftyHeifer · 10/12/2012 11:11

Templerun thanks for your insight into suicide. Having had a parent commit suicide I can assure you that I know all about it, and I know all about how I feel about it. In the note my parent left it was clear that they believed they were doing it to make things 'better' for myself and my remaining parent.
You're comments are vile and cruel.

chrismissymoomoomee · 10/12/2012 11:11

Everlong I am so so sorry that you are reading this shit that temple is coming out with. Please hide the thread you shouldn't have to put up with that shit :(

What disgusting, insensitive posts temple you have every right to your opinion, but to broadcast it in such a manner when you know its only going to hurt people and not help anyone is disgusting.

lifeintheolddogyet · 10/12/2012 11:11

As someone who's suffered deep depression I can say that in my darkest moments I have felt my DCs would be better off without me. I knew it would hurt them if I took my own life but would look at the other mothers around me and felt that they and DH would move on and their new mum would be way better at it than me.

I was lucky enough to get treatment that was very effective but I'll never forget those times. I pray you never suffer that level of mental agony templerun. Or perhaps you have, and that is the reason for your extreme views?

HeftyHeifer · 10/12/2012 11:12

that should be 'your' of course.

laptopdancer · 10/12/2012 11:12

Just watched the ACA interview and it didnt do them any favours. A lot of bull going on there.

RedToothbrush · 10/12/2012 11:12

When someone you know commits suicide you find anyone to blame apart from the person themselves.

So when a twelve year old kid hangs themselves because they are being bullied at school, its the kids fault?

Pretty sure theres been plenty of inquests into suicides which proportion reasonable blame by a judge to those who create certain circumstances... Why is it that?

MNHQ
IceTheChristmasKateMumsnet · 10/12/2012 11:13

Morning everyone,

We understand that this is the kind of thread where people feel very strongly, but we'd just like to remind you of our talk guidelines

EverlongLovesHerChristmasRobin · 10/12/2012 11:14

I know you are right Chris I should hide it. These sort of threads never end well. But I always feel I should defend those who aren't here to speak for themselves.

hefty I'm sorry Sad

farandawaysheran · 10/12/2012 11:15

An acquaintance of mine killed herself the day her parents announced they were divorcing.

They have lived with that for twenty years.

The inquest showed she had been planning to kill herself, by dint of the receipts showing stockpiling pills, borrowing a friends key for an empty flat and other things, for almost five weeks.

Please, you need to show the same humanity you're all shouting about until all the facts are known.

We do not know what drive her to do this. Anyone claiming to do so is misguided to a frightening degree.

templerun · 10/12/2012 11:15

I'm sorry to hear that. nothing I have written is meant to wind people up.

Whilst HeftyHeifer has pointed out that note her parents left (and I am sorry for your lost) you must know deep down that your parents weren't thinking straight.

jumpingjane · 10/12/2012 11:18

templerun:
'I'm going on the facts that have been realised and not what I think... unlike you'

I think you mean released.
More fool you if you believe what is reported in the media to be fact. I prefer to use my intelligence and my knowledge of human nature. I guess we are different...

I missed out the DJs-they are sorry for what they did mainly because of the impact it is now having on their lives. Admittedly, they couldn't have forseen these consequences but it was still a very stupid, childish thing to have done, designed purely for them to laugh at someone else's expense.

I agree with others that their station managers, lawyers and the hospital managers are at least as much to blame but these people are in positions of power (see previous post) and have the ability to protect themselves much better so the DJs are the scapegoats.

HeftyHeifer · 10/12/2012 11:18

exactly templerun -not thinking straight therefore how do you know that J wasn't thinking she was doing the best for her own children? rather than not giving them any thought as you claimed at your post at 10.23?
I do know that my own parent wasn't thinking straight because their loss devastated me and my other parent. But for you to claim that people who commit suicide aren't thinking about their loved ones is - as I said - utterly vile.
oh and it was one of my parents - not both. I'm sorry if that wasn't clear.

HeftyHeifer · 10/12/2012 11:19

Everlong I'm sorry for your loss too. I think I need to leave this thread for now. Warm thoughts to everyone who has lost a family member or friend to suicide.

EverlongLovesHerChristmasRobin · 10/12/2012 11:20

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LondonNinja · 10/12/2012 11:26

Templerun, I have nothing else to say to you. You say you have suffered enough to want to kill yourself and yet you come out with drivel despite having had the chance through life experience to show some insight and compassion.

Oh, and your comment to me, "I know more about mental issues that you have forgotten..." is a) INCORRECT and b) presumtive and rude. Who do you think you are exactly? Do us a favour: don't ever write that book.

I hope those people who are upset reading this thread are OK.

LondonNinja · 10/12/2012 11:27

*presumptive

templerun · 10/12/2012 11:27

So killing yourself because you think everyone you know will be better off is thinking straight. I don't understand how anyone that has lost anyone could think like that. I felt anger at my friend and expressed that to his mother when she told me. I was crying and called him a stupid boy.. he had killed himself because he was over weight and was rejected by a guy he had got to know online. Everyone around him thought he was a lovely guy, I loved him like a brother but was still angry at his death. I had spent the day with him the day before he had done it and felt I could of said something if I had known... that is where my previous post had come from (the one where I would of hugged him and told him that life is not that bad). I still cry about that, as I am now.

So you wondering why I seem heartless, it because I know that if he had thought about what he was doing and the effects it would have on the people he left behind he couldn't never of put a bag over his head and filled it will helium. Don't tell me I don't know about how someone feels... I fully know!!!

LondonNinja · 10/12/2012 11:34

"I had spent the day with him the day before he had done it and felt I could of said something if I had known... that is where my previous post had come from (the one where I would of hugged him and told him that life is not that bad)."

and

"Don't tell me I don't know about how someone feels... I fully know!!!"

completely contradict each other.

Your last post makes no sense (to me, anyway). You should, as you are upset, perhaps try to imagine how you are making some of the other posters feel through your harsh comments. But, believe what you will. You know best.

RedToothbrush · 10/12/2012 11:34

So killing yourself because you think everyone you know will be better off is thinking straight.

No one said it was. They shouldn't be blamed for it, or called selfish for it though - precisely for that reason; because they are ill.

And there are occasions when people commit suicide because they genuinely feel they have run out of options and they have no alternative.

There are cases where bullying has been reported to those in authority and vulnerable people have been let down by others who were in a position to take action and it is right and appropriate to investigate and place blame.

Suicides happen for lots of reasons. Its wrong to blame the person who does it though or call them selfish. And if you have been taught this, I rather worry about the professional who has taught you this. Perhaps thats your way of dealing with it, but I don't think placing guilt on someone who has attempted suicide is a particularly productive path for their self confidence.

EverlongLovesHerChristmasRobin · 10/12/2012 11:35

You showed anger to his mother? Heartless.

You lost a friend. You will get another one with any luck but that boys mother lost her son - irreplaceable.

I have not once felt anger to my son. Anger to me'most definitely, for not being able to save him.

But never him.

farandawaysheran · 10/12/2012 11:36

Temple, if it is any consolation, I did not think any of your posts were as heinous as accused.

Now people, you have judged a total stranger and called her some unkind names.

She's upset.

We know she has struggled with depression s
and MH issues.

Has nobody learned anything this week?

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 10/12/2012 11:37

When someone is depressed or going through whatever private hell, you simply cannot expect them to see things that to you seem obvious.

That so many suicide notes express the sentiment that people will be better off without the deceased around is proof of how twisted by illness and circumstances a person's thinking can get.

Anyone who feels that their children/partners/families/friends will be better off without them is obviously in a dark dark place and deserves nothing but compassion. To be sanctimonious and issue judgement is simply to miss the point.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 10/12/2012 11:40

templerun
You sound like you are letting your grief and frustration at your friend's death come out on this thread and in so doing inadvertantly hurting other people who have also lost someone to suicide.

I am sure it very painful to be the person left behind and from that perspective its very hard to find any justification for suicide. However, none of us know what is going through the mind of the person who takes their own life and I strongly suspect that from where they are, they believe that what they are doing is the best option for everyone so they are not doing it as an act of selfishness even if it feels like that to those left behind.

OhDearNigel · 10/12/2012 11:40

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LondonNinja · 10/12/2012 11:42

Farandaway, what I have learned is that people seem to think they can say what they like because it's what they think and they know it all, and damn the feelings of the recipient for being unable to take it.

Oh, and that empathy is in short supply. There have been some shocking things said on this thread. I'm so sorry for anyone reading this who has suffered the effects of suicide and is having insult added to injury.