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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask not very close friends if I can borrow their house

226 replies

agnesf · 07/12/2012 08:01

DP's brother and family want to come and stay over Xmas (they have to travel north and we are the logical stopping off point). We have major building work going on and half our house is out of action so it will be quite a squeeze (3 bedrooms/ 1 living room floor/ no operational shower - 10 people).

We have lived here for a couple of years and have made some friends but none that I would call particularly close. (We've been out for dinner a couple of times type friends).

Brother and family would probably be ok to stay in hotel (they did this before when we first moved) but I feel bad about that and know that if it had happened where I used to live I could have asked friends if I could borrow their houses for a night for family to sleep in if they were away over Xmas. Obviously we would provide bedding etc/ tidy up/ give them a present to sya thank you etc.

But I'm not sure if it would be appropriate now as friends don't feel close enough. WIBU to ask - how would you feel if a not close friend asked you for such a favour

OP posts:
MidniteScribbler · 07/12/2012 08:04

They have these amazing inventions for people who are travelling. They're called hotels.

NoTeaForMe · 07/12/2012 08:04

I think if you don't feel you're close enough to ask then you have your answer!

FoxtrotFoxtrotSierra · 07/12/2012 08:05

YANBU to ask, but if they say no they're not being U either. Some people are very precious about their houses, others aren't. You won't know which camp the people you know are in unless you ask.

FWIW DH and I are happy to lend our flat to all and sundry so if you asked us we'd say yes.

dexter73 · 07/12/2012 08:06

YANBU to ask but I would probably say no as I would find it awkward having people to stay that I didn't know. Any B&B's near you?

MrsBucketxx · 07/12/2012 08:07

i wouldnt lend my home to anyone i didnt know, or even know that well.

what if something was broken, dirty, damaged,

and stramgers doing god knows what in my house home, yuk yuk

YABU

suggest a hotel please.

Caerlaverock · 07/12/2012 08:07

I would say yes as I would love to know someone was in over Christmas and feeding the cat but you I wouldn't ask folk unless I knew them

BillyBollyBrandy · 07/12/2012 08:08

YABU, if they aren't close friends. Could you look at renting them an apartment rather than a hotel? Depending where you are that might be an option.

KittyFane1 · 07/12/2012 08:09

No NO NOOO. Just no.

AnnIonicIsoTronic · 07/12/2012 08:09

By the time you've bought thank you gifts & cleaned & left wine etc etc etc - it won't be much cheaper than a hotel - and a whole pole more trouble

mysteryfairy · 07/12/2012 08:10

In theory I would be ok with this. In practice it would be such a burden leaving my house totally clean and tidy with everything else that goes on at this time of year that I would end up hating you.

Original poster
agnesf · 07/12/2012 08:11

I think the thing is I'd be happy to lend my house to someone's relatives for a night if they were in my position. Its only for them to sleep in - not to eat meals or anything else & I'd make sure that only adults or the older (young teenage) children were the ones sleeping there.

So interesting to hear other views.

OP posts:
MadameCreeper · 07/12/2012 08:13

I wouldn't do it.

I'm not precious about my house but would feel odd about having strangers in there. For a start I'd feel the need to give everything a really good clean before hand! That I could do without before Christmas.

I'd also prefer to sleep in a hotel than a strangers house, it's less work! You can get up and go rather than clean kitchens, toilet, change bedding, run a Hoover around because I'd hate to leave even a tiny mess.

dexter73 · 07/12/2012 08:13

I certainly wouldn't want some strangers teenagers having the run off my house!

HECTheHallsWithRowsAndFolly · 07/12/2012 08:14

I would say no but I would feel fairly cross that someone I wasn't even that close to had put me in that position.

Original poster
agnesf · 07/12/2012 08:14

Maybe I should just drop a few veiled hints so that people like me would offer? Or ask in an indirect way - e.g. anyone know a good B&B locally where they could stay.

There are 2 adults & 4 children so a hotel at Xmas is pretty expensive.

But maybe I am being unreasonable not to just try to squash them all into my house.

OP posts:
Original poster
agnesf · 07/12/2012 08:16

I didn't mean the teenager on her own (she's only 13). I meant the 2 adults and her.

OP posts:
MadameCreeper · 07/12/2012 08:18

If its just for one night I'd squish them all in. It's probably less hassle for everyone than messing a out with other houses.

Unless, lets say 2 or 3 of their children, are the same age as yours, get on and would love a sleep over. Then the others can go in a hotel.

Fakebook · 07/12/2012 08:19

No! Don't drop veiled hints. That will make people awkward.

Why don't you want them to stay in a hotel?

WillieWaggledagger · 07/12/2012 08:19

i wouldn't ask in your position. apart from anything else it's a bit late in the day to be asking this sort of favour too - many people will have firmed up christmas plans by now

does your dp's brother realise how much bother this is for you given your building works?

dexter73 · 07/12/2012 08:20

Ah ok - it's just that you put 'or the older teenage children'. Thought that would be a recipe for disaster!! Have you looked at local B&Bs? They will be much cheaper than a hotel.

Goldensunnydays81 · 07/12/2012 08:22

If it was me i would just all squeeze into the house but me and my family are like that we had 10 of us in my 1 bed flat we all just slept everywhere Grin

Merrylegs · 07/12/2012 08:23

Why not put the adults in a hotel and let the kids camp out at yours? My kids and their cousins would love that!

captainmummy · 07/12/2012 08:32

How long is it for? If it's omly overnight or for 2 nights, can you borrow blow-up mattresses and chuck them on the floor? No working shower is a problem but we used to manage with just a sink.....

Might be quite fun, camping but inside.

Selks · 07/12/2012 08:43

Rent a holiday cottage - some do short lets particularly this time of year.

HorraceTheChristmasOtter · 07/12/2012 08:59

If you asked me that I would feel a bit pissed off. In all honesty, I would say no and then avoid you because I thought you were slightly strange.

Don't ask your acquaintances if your family can have their house, in a veiled manner or otherwise. I like the idea of keeping the children at your house, but the adults going to a B and B.