to not want my friend to bring her 6mo to our Christmas meal?

[forbiddenfruit85]

Be prepared I have my judgey pants on.

We have organised our meal for the weekend before Christmas. Friend is bringing her 6mo baby because the one and only time she has left him, he refused to take the bottle.

She has since then never bothered to try again. My baby took ages to take to the bottle too so I know how hard it is, but I persisted and eventually we got there.

The table is booked for 8 and we will be there is probably at least 10 so its going to be late. The restaurant is fully booked so it's going to be noisy. I just don't feel this is a great environment for a baby.

aibu to not want her to bring him along?

(she has a bf and they live with his family so there isn't a shortage of people willing to look after him)

You have never seen a baby being changed on a bouncy castle because those who do can do it without being seen. That was my point.

Am loving the drip feeding.
Unoccupied bouncy castle at midnight my arse...
Stop digging staroflight, just Because you realise you've exposed your poor parenting skills.
And even if it were true (which we all know it isn't) why the hell would someone change their baby on a dirty bouncy castle which peoples sweaty smelly feet have been all over, yet not want to use changing tables designed for babies?

(awaits staroflight explaining that this particular bouncy castle had been deep cleaned moments before )

Sounds to me like the friend makes the OP feel a bit guilty over her parenting style and so she has to make her friend look bad to make herself feel better.
The friend is putting her baby first which is absolutely right. She was willing to compromise by coming to the meal and bringing baby, but apparently that's against "da real life rules"
Thank God I don't live in that 'real life' and I'm going on my works meal on Monday and joining us is my colleagues gorgeous 16 month old. Because a) we love him and b) we want her there and would rather have both of them than her feel she had to stay home. Oh and c) we aren't asshats.

I can change a baby in a restaurant

Star, if you can change a baby in a restaurant but don't use changing rooms, where do you change them? On the floor? Bar? Lap?

None of these are any more acceptable. Apologies if you've got some other magic area as yet unidentified.....

A bouncy castle at midnight???? ha ha ha hhaaaaaaaaa.

StarOfLightMcKings3

I've changed and fed my baby on a tube, during a meeting in the bank, on a bouncy castle, during a presentation that I was giving, on a training course and even in court. NOONE noticed

If I was sat watching someone give me a presentation then believe me I'd notice if they suddenly started changing a nappy full of shit.

And talking about full of shit. Children are not allowed in court. So how'd you manage that one?

'Unoccupied bouncy castle at midnight my arse... '

Really? you were there were you? Saw me cheat and actually do it to the side of the bouncy castle rather than ON it? If you really were a guest at my brother's wedding in September time may I suggest you make yourself known to him so that he can be careful to explain the exact circumstances of all his tales, lest your information is too limited to be able to believe him.

What a thread.

OP YANBU

and some well one in particular of the posters on here make me think of the Little Britain sketch........Bitty anyone?

It was technically a tribunal, and breastfed babies are allowed. It took some doing I agree, but it happened because at the time my baby was VERY tiny.

And the feeding in a restaurant as per your post at 12.00?

So not court at all! And if it took some doing it wasn't exactly unnoticed was it!

I thought you'd gone if. I don't change babies anywhere in particular. Just somewhere accessable, and with the most limited inconvenience to others. It would entirely depend on the variety of variables presented at the time.

zeeboo

Sounds to me like the friend makes the OP feel a bit guilty over her parenting style and so she has to make her friend look bad to make herself feel better.
The friend is putting her baby first which is absolutely right. She was willing to compromise by coming to the meal and bringing baby

Oh I haven't made her feel guilty in the slightest. We haven't spoken properly in 4 weeks, and not once have I mentioned the meal to her. All I did was ask if she was coming and then asking if she was bringing the baby to the friend who organised it.

But she's putting her baby first?
I'll remember that one when I'm in a full restaurant gone 10pm, where there is live music, people getting drunk and talking whilst I sip a martini and leave my baby in the pushchair.
But that will make me an excellent mum because I'm putting my baby first

The judge called it a court. It was in Holborn bars.

Ah right so you didnt actually change your baby on a bouncy castle OR take your baby into a court....

Thanks for clarifying that youve been writing a pile of shit...

I really feel sorry for the OP's friend. It is tricky when you have a young baby who cannot be left indefinitely when breastfed/bottle refuser. It must be even harder to have your 'friends' discussing behind your back how unreasonable you are being in attending an night out with the baby you can not leave.

It would annoy me if someone brought a baby out and wanted me to look after him/her but if they are doing the parenting it wouldn't bother me at all. I have been out with friends babies and in my case would rather enjoy my friend's company with the baby, then have neither present.

I also have a bottle refusing/breastfed baby. She is just 4 months old in my case or else I would of thought you were talking about me !

I make it clear if I am invited out, I expect the invite to include the baby too, else I turn down the invite. That said I am happy to not to be invited out, if the baby is not welcome and I wouldn't want to take DC4 certain places i.e. night clubbing !

Though I would never expect someone else to look after her for me when I was out and I would go home early if she wouldn't settle whilst being out. To be honest is she is chilling in her sling, you wouldn't know she was there.

Plus I'll try and leave her home with DH. If I managed to settle her at home before I go out, I'll leave her home asleep and dash back to feed her if she wake. I am lucky that she sleeps very well but even a breastfed baby can be left without milk for several hours between feeds. It might be worth suggesting this to your friend. Especially if the venue is not too far away from home and she is driving.

OP, But if your friend wants to bring her baby and if you feel this strongly why not uninvite your friend from the night out and then you are assured a baby free night out. You'll properly lose her friendship too but it doesn't sound like you value her as a friend, so no loss there either.

If you do care about her, put up with this minor issue and in a few short months it will be irrelevant again as baby becomes a toddler that she will gladly leave home.

'Ah, just another day in AIBU'...

exactly! This thread has made me laugh. Star you are priceless (but think I'll give dinner with you a miss if you don't mind )

Oh right so it wasn't court then star ..., funny that.

Anyone else smell bullshit as well as baby shit?

It was a SENDIST tribunal I am guessing not really like a court at all!

Putting your baby first means putting their needs over mine for a social event.

6 mo babies should not be in a busy restuarant between 8/10PM.

I changed my baby on a bouncy castle and I changed my baby in front of a judge in Holborn bars.

Being determined to pick holes in my story about things that are irrelevant to the actual point of the discussion doesn't mean you are right about the points that are relevant to the discussion.

It's the only court I've been to Londonone, and I'm calling it what the judge called it.

I didn't invite you Lime. I invited LeQueen.

Any proper judge would not have allowed that.

So please wipe the bullshit off your face.