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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want my friend to bring her 6mo to our Christmas meal?

999 replies

forbiddenfruit85 · 06/12/2012 21:25

Be prepared I have my judgey pants on.

We have organised our meal for the weekend before Christmas. Friend is bringing her 6mo baby because the one and only time she has left him, he refused to take the bottle.

She has since then never bothered to try again. My baby took ages to take to the bottle too so I know how hard it is, but I persisted and eventually we got there.

The table is booked for 8 and we will be there is probably at least 10 so its going to be late. The restaurant is fully booked so it's going to be noisy. I just don't feel this is a great environment for a baby.

aibu to not want her to bring him along?

(she has a bf and they live with his family so there isn't a shortage of people willing to look after him)

OP posts:
crashdoll · 06/12/2012 21:40

YABvU why should she force her baby to take a bottle for her convenience?

NicolaSeven · 06/12/2012 21:41

Totes U, I think. The child won't take a bottle. What's she meant to do, starve it?

HipHopOpotomus · 06/12/2012 21:41

YABU. Do you think everyone who BF must get their baby on a bottle because you did? DD1 had ONE bottle dd2 has had none. My choice, my business, none of your concern. I managed to socialise just fine and sometimes even took a baby to a restaurant. My friends were loving and fun about it.

Do sit at the other end of the table so they don't have to suffer your catsbumfaces on the night.

Stangirl · 06/12/2012 21:42

YABVU 'nuff said

Meglet · 06/12/2012 21:43

I like children in restaurants in the evenings. If they're not my own then I don't have to do 100% of the work. Other peoples children are much easier to deal with.

icclebabyjesusheave · 06/12/2012 21:43

YABU - its not because you don't think its a good atmosphere for a baby, its just that you don't want the baby there at all.

Used to take bf DD to restaurants at this age.

You could always just ask her not to come if you feel that strongly about it eh?

Original poster
forbiddenfruit85 · 06/12/2012 21:44

lovebunny did you seriously just say that?

Do not try and turn this into a debate about bottle vs breast.

You have no idea why my baby had the bottle, but you seem to have implied that I am a bad mother by doing so.

Anyone can say IABU BUT don't turn this into a bottle vs breast debate.

OP posts:
kinkyfuckery · 06/12/2012 21:44

Is this the same friend you were calling childish last week?

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 06/12/2012 21:44

OP I agree with hiphop do sit at the other end of the table or you may well get a half gummed carrot thrown into your cocktail.

Babies and nights out such as this one do not mix.

MightTinge · 06/12/2012 21:44

YABVU about the bottle thing. Why does she have to?

My baby would have happily slept through all the noise and drama of a resturant, more noise the better he settled. Where ever the boobies are, he is happy.

If the baby creates, Im sure she'll take him home. But I doubt that'll even happen.

differentnameforthis · 06/12/2012 21:45

You are being VERY unreasonable. It is up to her where she takes her baby. How can she leave him if he has no other way of being fed? She will be worried about him all night & he will most likely be very upset until her return.

I think this has nothing to do with it being a bad environment for him, but all about you not wanting a baby to "spoil" your night. Not only are you unreasonable, but you are selfish too.

Original poster
forbiddenfruit85 · 06/12/2012 21:45

I like the baby, if it was a lunch time thing I wouldn't care.

But this is an evening do and feel that late at night and in a noisy place isn't the best place for a baby.

OP posts:
Startail · 06/12/2012 21:45

This reply has been deleted

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kinkyfuckery · 06/12/2012 21:46

But she's not asking you to take your baby there, is she?

WipsGlitter · 06/12/2012 21:47

It will change the dynamic of the evening. And a s someone said others going might be looking forward to a child-free evening.

This is what I don't get about bf-ing, you get all the "it's so easy, convenient, do it where and whenever" but if you want a break from it then it just seems really hard.

Roseformeplease · 06/12/2012 21:47

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster
forbiddenfruit85 · 06/12/2012 21:47

She decided to try him on the bottle for one night. He didn't like it so she never tried again.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 06/12/2012 21:47

I don't think I'd be keen on going for a meal out with a group of people and a baby. What is the matter with some people. I would never have dreamt of taking a 6 month old baby on a night out. Do you mean it's just you and your friend or a group of people. Either way I'd give it a miss.

CaliforniaSucksSnowballs · 06/12/2012 21:48

Her baby she can decide. Mine were never bothered by noise and would sleep anywhere at 6 months so time of day wasn't important either.
It's not like she's asking you to babysit during the meal, leave her to it, if the baby gets to fussy or upset I'm sure she'll take him home. One of mine would never take a bottle all my expressed milk saved in the freezer went to waste. He liked it straight from the tap.

CabbageLeaves · 06/12/2012 21:48

I wouldn't be that thrilled at a 6mo joining me for an adults evening meal. That would be the same if I was it's mother Grin However I can see the woman in question feels unable to go otherwise.

I don't think everyone loves being with babies tbh There are some places and situations where they might think they won't have them (evening in a restaurant ?) You're entitled to feel the way you do. She is entitled to bring the baby.....

lovebunny · 06/12/2012 21:49

^lovebunny did you seriously just say that?

Do not try and turn this into a debate about bottle vs breast.

You have no idea why my baby had the bottle, but you seem to have implied that I am a bad mother by doing so.

Anyone can say IABU BUT don't turn this into a bottle vs breast debate.^
My baby took ages to take to the bottle too so I know how hard it is, but I persisted and eventually we got there

yes, i said it. i don't know what your problem is. you 'persisted', you were happy with the result. she persisted her way and she's happy to bring the baby out in the evening. i have no interest in a bottle v breast debate - i breastfed for four years and was a bfg counsellor for twelve. her way works for me.

usualsuspect3 · 06/12/2012 21:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

3monkeys3 · 06/12/2012 21:49

YABVU

Would you rather she didn't come? Because that's probably the only real alternative. Some babies don't take a bottle and some women don't want to bother with them (I didn't with dc2 and dc3 - I'm pretty sure I have friends who don't understand my decision, but it's not up to them how I feed my baby).

McChristmasPants2012 · 06/12/2012 21:50

Yanbu, i would be miffed that i managed to arrange childcare to spend an adult evening out only to be greeting with a baby.

thats why we do 2 event in my circle of friends, one which involves mother and child and one only adult.

Iggly · 06/12/2012 21:50

It's her call. YANBU to judge. I would.

But YABU to not want the baby at all.

You sound a bit Hmm TBH. The baby is 6 months, why bother with a bottle.

I will admit I pulled out of a hen do because I couldn't leave DD. would you have judged me?