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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want my friend to bring her 6mo to our Christmas meal?

999 replies

forbiddenfruit85 · 06/12/2012 21:25

Be prepared I have my judgey pants on.

We have organised our meal for the weekend before Christmas. Friend is bringing her 6mo baby because the one and only time she has left him, he refused to take the bottle.

She has since then never bothered to try again. My baby took ages to take to the bottle too so I know how hard it is, but I persisted and eventually we got there.

The table is booked for 8 and we will be there is probably at least 10 so its going to be late. The restaurant is fully booked so it's going to be noisy. I just don't feel this is a great environment for a baby.

aibu to not want her to bring him along?

(she has a bf and they live with his family so there isn't a shortage of people willing to look after him)

OP posts:

StarOfLightMcKings3 · 08/12/2012 10:52

Ifcady, there's a word for deliberate group misinterpretation for derogatory purposes - bullying.

pigletmania · 08/12/2012 10:53

A new born would be demand fed and would be attached most of the time, not a nearly 6 month inquisitive baby, it would not be expected to. I know at that age ds was crawling, rolling, into everything.

StarOfLightMcKings3 · 08/12/2012 10:53

Baby feeds constantly in between short dozes in evening, about every 40 during most of the day.

WhataSook · 08/12/2012 10:54

Wow, just wow. Does anyone think they are going to win this fight?

Is it possible OP that as you refer to this lady as your friend you could just say its child-free?!

I have never taken DD to a night out...they don't happen much these days, but as someone with NO other childcare options other than DH, if I did decide to take her and had to deal with the likes of some on here when out you would get a big fuck right off from me.

londonone · 08/12/2012 10:54

No you are not being bullied. People are disagreeing with you not the same thing.

pigletmania · 08/12/2012 10:54

Time for solids I think

StarOfLightMcKings3 · 08/12/2012 10:54

London where have I said the smell is no worse that garlic?

Read my posts, don't select aspects, twist and then be nasty.

londonone · 08/12/2012 10:57

10.03

YouCanBe · 08/12/2012 10:59

I don't know, the only time people brought babies on evening things I was at, was when it was all couples. Not everyone had grandparents, or easy babysitters, so some of our friends used to bring their babies.
I honestly never felt inconvenienced at all. I didn't have children back then, and it doesn't happen now because everyone has older kids now who don't just sleep quietly out of the way.

I always actually felt a bit inferior and cowardly because I never dared to do it myself, so DH and I always had to take it in turns to socialise on shared friends nights out!
I just never thought it was a problem myself.

ifancyashandy · 08/12/2012 11:00

Disagreeing on mass is not bullying.

Here's a grip. Feel free to avail yourself of it.

And the garlic comment? 10.03am.

londonone · 08/12/2012 11:02

Also if you think everyone is misinterpreting you its probably because you are being unclear.

StarOfLightMcKings3 · 08/12/2012 11:05

Janet, where have I said I drink martini on a bouncy castle?

Again misinterpreting for the purpose or ridicule and point scoring and adding nothing to the debate except bullying behaviour.

StarOfLightMcKings3 · 08/12/2012 11:06

I see garlic. I see nothing that resembled what London said I said.

MysteriousHamster · 08/12/2012 11:12

Thread has gone bizarre.

First I thought you were being totally unreasonable, OP. My main group of friends locally to me are all mums with young children and they have brought tiny kids to meals before, and because it's hard for us all to meet up we don't mind. BUT if it was specifically a kid-free night, drinking was expected, and as baby is over six months (ie you'd expect it to not need as much breastfeeding), I'd understand you feeling that way a bit more.

It depends on the friendship in a way too, doesn't it? If you want to see them and baby being there is the only way, maybe you don't mind putting up with it.

shrug

And I definitely wouldn't try to change a baby at a dinner table. Urgh.

janey68 · 08/12/2012 11:17

I'd like to ask star just one question. How do you know other people didn't notice, or didn't find it unpleasant when you changed your baby on a bouncy castle etc?

Are you basing your assumption on the fact that they didn't actually say 'I don't want to smell your baby's shitty fucking nappy?'
Because most people have got more advanced social skills and manners than you, and don't automatically act or say whatever they want whenever they want.
It doesn't mean they weren't thinking it though.....

SpecialAgentKat · 08/12/2012 11:20

'I change my baby on a bouncy castle bitches - Beat that other freaky/obsessed supermums!!!!'

LMAO

WinkyWinkola · 08/12/2012 11:21

Weird thread.

I can't really see the fuss. It's a small baby. If it's bf'd, the mother can just put it on the breast to keep it quiet and more than likely it will just conk out and nobody will notice.

Some things are made into a big deal unnecessarily.

soontobeyummy · 08/12/2012 11:23

Star Why are people so frightened of babies?
No, not frightened. Just on an adults night out, the week before Christmas (have you actually BEEN out the weekend before Christmas? Because if you have you'd realise a night time do is infinitely more packed than a lunchtime affair! )
If I'm at the meal, it means I've left my two in the capable hands of their grandparents overnight, so I'm looking forward to adult me time.
I love babies, but I don't want them on a night out. It's not fair on the baby, it's inconsiderate of other people, and smacks only of what YOU want and stuff everybody else.
You either want the night out or you leave the baby at home.

ifancyashandy · 08/12/2012 11:23

Weirdness indeed.... Walking away now....

pigletmania · 08/12/2012 11:29

It is getting silly, now. Op has a right to organise an adults only event, if friends baby cannt be left without her she cannot go

noblegiraffe · 08/12/2012 11:29

Now that I've got over being baffled by the impracticalities of changing a baby on a bouncy castle, I'm starting to wonder what a baby was doing on a bouncy castle in the first place. They're not exactly bounceable.

soontobeyummy · 08/12/2012 11:30

on a bouncy castle, during a presentation that I was giving, on a training course and even in court. NOONE noticed.

A bouncy castle? With no-one noticing?! What a load of bull.

TwoFacedCows · 08/12/2012 11:32

jeeze! star you are coming across as a totally blardy loon!

And I can change baby's nappy with one hand whilst feeding AND holding a conversation with you and you wouldn't even notice what I was doing

that is revolting, and you don't even wash after because you have a thing about public loos?! well I have a thing about not seeing shitty babies arses at the dinner table, or on the tube or any other place you changed it! - and anti bac gel wont get rid of any shit on your hands!

I dont think that the problem of being invited out for an adult meal has ever been an issue for you- because i dont think any normal person would invite you!!

YOU ARE COMING ACROSS AS TOTALLY MENTAL!

janey68 · 08/12/2012 11:33

I thought that too noble- in fact I thought there were age restrictions in them as being bounced and shaken about cant be good for young babies brains...

Never mind, I expect staroflight ordered everyone else to stop bouncing while she changed her little emperor's arse!

LoopsInHoops · 08/12/2012 11:35

Wtf is 'blardy'? Is it supposed to be a posh 'bloody?'

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