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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want my friend to bring her 6mo to our Christmas meal?

999 replies

forbiddenfruit85 · 06/12/2012 21:25

Be prepared I have my judgey pants on.

We have organised our meal for the weekend before Christmas. Friend is bringing her 6mo baby because the one and only time she has left him, he refused to take the bottle.

She has since then never bothered to try again. My baby took ages to take to the bottle too so I know how hard it is, but I persisted and eventually we got there.

The table is booked for 8 and we will be there is probably at least 10 so its going to be late. The restaurant is fully booked so it's going to be noisy. I just don't feel this is a great environment for a baby.

aibu to not want her to bring him along?

(she has a bf and they live with his family so there isn't a shortage of people willing to look after him)

OP posts:
pigletmania · 08/12/2012 00:55

Oh dear some of t comments are testing a little too erm silly

pigletmania · 08/12/2012 00:55

Meant getting, silly auto correct

pigletmania · 08/12/2012 00:59

The group have a right to a child free evening,contrary to belief 6 month babies can be noisy ad whining especially if teething, or overtired as they can't get the sleep tey need due to noisy busy environment

TigerChristmasiscostingmeaBomb · 08/12/2012 01:34

I want to go out with Ladybeagle - race you to the dance floor

I wouldn't say anything to a friend who bought their baby to a Christmas night out but I would be thinking FFS.

In RL all my friends would have remarked, thank fuck a no kids night out, whilst we were planning what we were wearing, who was picking who up, what time were we getting to the bar, where were we all going afterwards and who had to keep an eye on who.

mathanxiety · 08/12/2012 05:45

'And the fact that your name is scarlettsmummy makes me absolutely cringe. Do you not have an identity? Obviously not. '

'my body is growing him
I just sicked in my mouth. '

You are an incredibly unpleasant person, ForbiddenFruit.

mathanxiety · 08/12/2012 05:51

BTW to those of you bleating about work Xmas dos and unsuitability for babies - I don't think it was ever established that this is a work party.

Would also like to add that it is incredibly British to be so resentful of someone who is breaking the rules by not hiring a babysitter for her baby as everyone else has felt obliged to do.

pigletmania · 08/12/2012 07:12

Math yes it's not a work night out but an ADULTS only night out, and op and the rest of her friends have every right to not want a screaming Whiney baby there. Yes the op friend is bf and she does not want to put her ds on a bottle, she has every right, but that means that she will not be able to attend adult only events for the time she is bf.

pigletmania · 08/12/2012 07:13

Therefore the friends could arrange to meet up in the day for lunch, what's wrong with that!

pigletmania · 08/12/2012 07:16

It's ate in the evening 8-10pm the last thing a baby will want is a noisy environment as they will want to sleep. I know my baby ds wouldn't be able to sleep in such an environment and would be overtired, screaming, in fact if I was tired that. Is the last place I would rather be

Violet77 · 08/12/2012 07:17

Glad that your not my friend.

Are you worried she will get more attention?

pigletmania · 08/12/2012 07:24

Wth it's getting silly, op wants to organise an adult only night and she is bein shat on for a great height. She did come across as not very good but some of the comments against her are just as awful and personal. What if she had organised clubbing night would it be acceptable to bring your baby then! If the meal is in a pub she might not be allowed to bring her baby due to pub licence etc

pigletmania · 08/12/2012 07:26

I personally would not have an issue, but would want baby to be taken home if he became Whiney, screaming

doublecakeplease · 08/12/2012 07:45

I must be a complete cow!

Star - I'm sorry but all of your comments have made me cringe. you must have incredible dedication and patience to have your baby attached to you - but if I'm honest it all sounds a little ott.

My name is doublecakeplease and I'm an adult time addict.

StarOfLightMcKings3 · 08/12/2012 07:52

A mummy martyr IMO is someone who leaves her vulnerable and dependent and generally inconspicuous baby at home to somehow prove her superior parenting skills and pander to the judginess of others.

My baby is securely attached. He does not fuss or whinge and his ebf do not yet smell. He was on the inside and Now he's on the outside. He does Not have enough social awareness to necessitate adults modifying their behaviour in his presence. it is like saying no pregnant women allowed.

pigletmania · 08/12/2012 07:58

Totally wrong star, a pregnant woman can go to a club/bar do you rethink it's appropriate to take your now born baby! Your baby is now a separate entity from you even if he is being bf and sorry adults only evenings are just that! Not everyone loves your baby as much as you and would want him there. I personally don't mind but I am defending those like op that do

StarOfLightMcKings3 · 08/12/2012 08:01

I'm committed to feeding my baby yes, but evangelical about bfing - no. I don't give a shit what others do, except if it gives them a chip on the shoulder that makes them nasty towards out bfing.

SpecialAgentKat · 08/12/2012 08:01

I have never posted before, just a lurker.

BUT I gotta say Star you have me in hysterics. Either you're the most brilliant troll of all time or your kid needs some fruit loops with his '24 hour milk bar.'

pigletmania · 08/12/2012 08:02

Yes of course it's a mum right to bf and not try baby on bottle like op friend, as a result they are restricted for a certain period whist they are bf, if fiends are going clubbing or to bars the mum cannot come and bring baby with. But to many tats not important and can wait until later

doublecakeplease · 08/12/2012 08:02

It's nothing like saying a pregnant woman can't attend - how ridiculous! You and I will never agree, I think you seem slightly obsessive over your child.

Babies are not inconspicuous at all. even one asleep under the table would grate on my nerves a little as it would still make me edit my behaviour - I'd be quieter / aware of myself and others getting too tipsy etc and at the risk of sounding spoilt that's not fair!

StarOfLightMcKings3 · 08/12/2012 08:03

A club/bar is a dangerous place for a baby.

pigletmania · 08/12/2012 08:03

Star this is not anti bf but a debate about bringing any babies/children whether breastfed or bottlefed on adult nights out

StarOfLightMcKings3 · 08/12/2012 08:06

If you edit your behaviour that's really your own insecurities tbh. There is no need, and it isn't done in many countries abroad. You are not being observed in any meaningful way and your need to be quiet stems from your own predjudices. Babies don't need quiet. The womb is a bloody noisy place.

yellowsubmarine53 · 08/12/2012 08:08

Your friend probably feels that she has a choice between bringing her baby, hoping that he'll sleep and having a nice evening or leaving him at home, on edge worrying about how he is and expecting a phone call about 8.30pm saying that he won't settle.

Just because there are other people around to look after the baby doesn't mean that the baby will settle with them or that they won't get on the phone at the first whimper.

StarOfLightMcKings3 · 08/12/2012 08:08

I don't know a lot about bottlefed babies but it seems a lot here don't know much about breastfed babies.

doublecakeplease · 08/12/2012 08:13

So, potentially is a restaurant on what is traditionally a festive, merry night of the year - busy waiters carrying hot food, drunk people stumbling around, drinks being spilt etc - not baby friendly at all!

I'm glad that I have friends who are complete cows too. I'm going out for a Christmas meal next sat - can't wait for some baby free fun!

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