to not want my friend to bring her 6mo to our Christmas meal?

[forbiddenfruit85]

Be prepared I have my judgey pants on.

We have organised our meal for the weekend before Christmas. Friend is bringing her 6mo baby because the one and only time she has left him, he refused to take the bottle.

She has since then never bothered to try again. My baby took ages to take to the bottle too so I know how hard it is, but I persisted and eventually we got there.

The table is booked for 8 and we will be there is probably at least 10 so its going to be late. The restaurant is fully booked so it's going to be noisy. I just don't feel this is a great environment for a baby.

aibu to not want her to bring him along?

(she has a bf and they live with his family so there isn't a shortage of people willing to look after him)

TFC..advance search me, baby

You'll probably end up being being my best buddy

Psml at any!

if you want your friend to be able to attend don't make her life more difficult by tut tutting about her little one coming too, when you are bf this is what has to happen and some of us don't ever want our babies to have a bottle when we have our 24hour milkbar!!!

I'll be honest I wouldn't be happy with it restaurants on a Saturday night at this time of year are not places for babies. When I had my 11mo I accepted it meant sacrificing the social life for a while I appreciate that she/you/the group want to see each other but maybe this isn't the best way to do that.

I never would have done it it's potentially unfair on other people and to my mind just not necessary.

Jesus, the poor cow will probably scoff her dinner, stay an hour then go home, can't see how it affects any one else, I really can't! It's not something I would do, as I like to get pissed relax when I'm out, otherwise what's the point, but I wouldn't mind if it meant a catch up with an old mate, who was a new mum.

Geranium3 I haven't made her life difficult in the slightest.

When the table was booked. I asked said friend who booked it - is friend going and is she bringing x? I was told yes.

End of.

And I cringe at the expression "24hr milkbar" it's almost as bad a "mummy milk"

We had a Christmas meal where a mum brought her baby AND her DH. It was lunchtime she wanted to go Christmas shopping afterwards (fair enough). Poor baby cried the whole time and her DH was a bit merry knob. Went down like a fart in a spacesuit.

I wouldn't go for a meal if I knew the same circumstances beforehand. It would be a waste of a babysitter for me and I'd rather go for a child free meal for a works xmas do.

Don't see what it's got to do with you. It will be your friend who's stressed, worried about the baby and about how other people are reacting, who has to go off to the loo to feed and/or deal with people staring, who can't have a drink or eat half of the things on the menu, and who has to leave early. All for the sake of trying to keep up breastfeeding while not becoming a total hermit, especially at Xmas.

Well done for making her feel even more unhappy, unwelcome and resented.

In case it's not clear, YABU.

eccentrica what the hell do you think I have done or said to the woman?

I've literally kept my mouth shut about the entire thing. The only time I mentioned it (as already said) I asked the woman organising it if a) she was coming to the meal and b) is she bringing baby with her.

I've said nothing to her about it. Or to other friends.

So please explain how I have made her feel unhappy, unwelcome and resented? Because I'd love to know.

If it's that difficult for her I'm surprised she's going tbh eccentrica

Dear god eccentric are you always this highly strung and ott?

Weird.

your friend wants to go to the meal she wants or needs to take her baby some mums would stay home good on her it is a meal not a heavy night on the tiles, yanbu to want your friend to have anice night off yabu to say a meal at night isnt a healthy place for a baby no difference from during the day or early evening.

Why did you invite your friend at all, knowing that her baby doesn't want to take a bottle ( or maybe your friend doesn't want to try again if there is no need?). I just don't understand why wouldn't you just tell her that she is not welcome with the baby, or if you are a coward I suspect you are, just send her a link to this thread.

" forbiddenfruit85 what the hell do you think I have done or said to the woman?"

Well, apart from the fact that once you start asking other people whether or not the baby's coming (and what on earth does it have to do with you? it's not your problem, which was the point I was trying to make), it will inevitably get back to her.

These things have a way of getting around. And people's resentment (even when it's inexplicable, as in this case) communicates itself pretty clearly through tone of voice, raised eyebrows, and all the other not-so-subtle signals that you will send off, if you're bothered enough to be bitching about it on here.

You've "kept your mouth shut about the entire thing"? that's hardly a great feat of self-control. I think it's really odd to be so bothered about someone else bringing her baby with her. No-one is asking you to babysit or not to have a drink, it has nothing to do with you.

EverlongLovesHerChristmasRobin er no, not being particularly "highly strung and ott", I just think the original question is a particularly mean-spirited one and feel sorry for the "friend" in question.

saintlyjimjams unfortunately I think that can be the reality when you've got a 6-month-old and you're breastfeeding, going out can be pretty stressful but it beats staying in!

this thread has really made me laugh today, thanks OP!

i am still chuckling over donnie today?s lesson is titled ?I don?t give a fuck if you would be my friend or not?. Tomorrow?s lesson is the same as today.

I don't understand why your getting a shoeing.

It sounds like an inappropriate night for a baby. Restaurants are bloody carnage at Christmas time.

There would be no way I would actually want to do that. I might call in for a drink.

My friend breastfed exclusively for a year. We had a hen night, she called back at 8 to feed the baby and then just knew she might have to call back.

Up to your mate like but I wouldn't even enjoy myself personally.

hear hear eccentrica, you have put most eloquently what i was trying to express!!!
Think forbidden fruits is just looking for a friday night arguement !

I've taken my kids out around the same age and they just slept. If they had bellowed I would have left. Surely it's worth a punt on her part.

Geranium3 I started this thread on Thursday so no not looking for a Friday night argument.