Would you be happy for a photo of your child dressed

[Mosman]

In a crop top, aged 11 to be circulated on the Internet ?
I'm fcuking fuming just not sure how to handle this.
When we joined the school I was given a form asking for a signature to authorise the children to be photographed. We declined. That as far as I'm concerned should have been the end of the matter.
Except this morning I get a phone to make sure I understand the implications of my child not bring photographed, I say that I do, I am told that she the teacher will explain to my child that she needs to ask mum if she questions why she cannot be photographed. Fine I say.
When the children arrive back into the classroom from assembly the teacher stands up in front of the class and announced that Dd is the only one who cannot have her picture taken, that she may not be able to join the school band or choir because of this.
Later on in the day I received the school newsletter via email displaying DD's classmates performing a dance wearing cropped tops, midriffs on display, confirming everything I was concerned about.
How do I handle this effectively and get a satisfactory outcome ?

Ahhh so you found out from that ever reliable source of playground gossips then!

I'm very confused. You stated earlier that whilst looking at the school brochure you noticed children in swimsuits, were unhappy by this and that's what made you decide no photos.
Now you are saying a story about convicted paedophiles receiving the newsletter. I assume this wasn't in the brochure?

So which was it?

I find your whole attitude quite frankly baffling and it is a million percent your own fault for not discussing this no photo/no swimsuit/no clothing that does not cover entirely with your daughter.

And as for expecting the school to take the photo and cut her out?
Ludicrous. If you had explained all this in the first place then she would know she isn't allowed to have her photo taken.

But I suspect you avoided that conversation in case your dd was of a differing opinion.

It is the kind of thing other parents like to ensure newbies know I guess. I'd be fucked off if we'd had them over for dinner and nobody told me.

So....this knowledge is actually based on playground gossip then? Also, has it ever occurred to you that anyone coming for dinner could be a paedophile? They don't usually wear a badge.

tbh, it does sound like you are making this up as you go along. Either that, or appaling drip-feeding.

No I just blame the teacher, quite clear on that one. Unprofessional, unnecessary and not nice.

Complex - I will go for the making things up as she goes along. She simply doesn't want to admit she was in the wrong so is looking for people to blame.

The convicted ones kind of do wear a badge though don't they. The whole criminal record thing

So parents at the school have told you (the newbie) that the school send emails to this person?

Really? Honestly? How do they know this?

Your daughter is far more likely to suffer from your hysteria than from appearing in photographs.

Pretty much everyone has agreed the teacher is in the wrong here so I don't need to blame or admit anything though do I ?

It's generally not plastered on their forehead though.

So you not see that you should have discussed this issue with your daughter?
It's a shame really.

And FWIW cropped tops? Not underwear. Or like underwear.

Why would this person be coming to dinner? Do they live with their child? If they do then the person is not a convicted paedophile and you are listening to playground gossip.

Make whatever choice you like about your child, but don't go in stamping your feet and take away other people choices about their children.

The convicted ones kind of do wear a badge though don't they

You have lost me now!

Well if that is what happened I bet your dd just wants to be in the photos and is trying to force your hand

My daughter knows nothing of this and plays with the child of this person because we aren't such tossers that we'd isolate the child of the family. There's no hysteria.

How on earth do you know that is what the teacher said? Every 11year old, infact nearly every child, I have known has been prone to exaggerate especially when they are after a bit of sympathy!

I agree with nearly every one else, you have singled your DD out, it is not the school's job to send her on imaginative errands or put her on the end of a row so she can be cropped out, to spare her feelings. If she is upset by your actions, then you must explain them to her!

The whole criminal record thing - yes. The ones that have been caught of course. People with criminal records do tend to wear badges announcing their criminal convictions - I've heard you can get them in different colours depending on the offence.

Careful now, there could be some that haven't been caught and they may be watching you right now!

Not quite sure I believe you any more. For which I'm quite thankful really, as I would be concerned for your dd.

So the convicted paedophile still lives with the child

While I totally agree that some child should not be photographed due to special concerns, eg safety, I get really frustrated at parents like the OP.

I have no pictures, due to the blanket ban I posted earlier, of my children performing at school, in character on stage. Pictures of the children standing in costume on their own, away from the stage, do not in any way convey the event they were involved in.

I am thinking in particular of DD's final performance at the school where she finally had a main part after years of being in the shadows, and even other parents were congratulating her on her performance. No pictures

You need to admit you are being slightly hysterical about the photo thing and very unreasonable for not discussing this with your dd.
And wrong for wanting every other parent to not take pictures of their child in case your dd is in it. And wrong for wanting the school to collude in your persistence of not discussing the issue with your dd and taking her photo then cropping her out.

As I said I will be raising it with the teacher and we'll get to the bottom of it. Andcifvthat means no action shots of the choir I'm sure nobody will die

What is the point of being in a choir if you can't perform in front of an audience because hey might take photos?

Well your dd won't be in the choir will she?

So there will be action shots.

And your attitude? Ugh.

People may not be die but people will be dissapointed.

What if the choir performance is normally recorded? Would you expect them to stop doing that to?

The convicted ones kind of do wear a badge though don't they. The whole criminal record thing

My point was that you only know (or at least think you know) about the convicted paedophile. Anyone who comes to dinner could be a paedophile and you'd never know, would you? In reality, they probably aren't, of course because rational people don't see paedos around every corner.

Wiley I have no idea where he or she lives, just the family involved and it is common local knowledge.