Would you be happy for a photo of your child dressed

[Mosman]

In a crop top, aged 11 to be circulated on the Internet ?
I'm fcuking fuming just not sure how to handle this.
When we joined the school I was given a form asking for a signature to authorise the children to be photographed. We declined. That as far as I'm concerned should have been the end of the matter.
Except this morning I get a phone to make sure I understand the implications of my child not bring photographed, I say that I do, I am told that she the teacher will explain to my child that she needs to ask mum if she questions why she cannot be photographed. Fine I say.
When the children arrive back into the classroom from assembly the teacher stands up in front of the class and announced that Dd is the only one who cannot have her picture taken, that she may not be able to join the school band or choir because of this.
Later on in the day I received the school newsletter via email displaying DD's classmates performing a dance wearing cropped tops, midriffs on display, confirming everything I was concerned about.
How do I handle this effectively and get a satisfactory outcome ?

Andcifvthat means no action shots of the choir I'm sure nobody will die

Sorry, but you are going way beyond unreasonable here. Fair enough, you don't want your child to be photographed but you've absolutely no right to impose your diktat on other parents who are happy to see pictures of their children in the choir. Action shots always complementing formal compositions. As my MIL used to say, there's a grave danger of you assuming you are Body Everyself...

You just sound nuts.

I don't see pedophiles around every corner and I'd rather they had as little exposure to my kids as I can control. You can't control everything but what you can you should. DD will be in the choir believe me

Ah, that ever reliable information source, "common local knowledge". It was common local knowledge that I was pregnant for the last three years. Eventually I was last year, it was something of a relief!

What paedophile was "definitely" in contact with your dd's last school that meant she couldn't be photographed there?

Er, it is a tad hysterical tbh.

You launched in with crop tops and circulation on the Internet, and the reality is that there was a photo emailed to parents only that your child do not appear in, because you had refused permission.

It looks like a pretty hysterical over-reaction to me.

What gives you the right to be so up in arms about in convent pictures of other people's kids in a school play? That they had all given permission to be taken?

Are you really cross because you think these other parents are endangering their offspring, and that the school should have a strict full clothing at all times and no pictures ever policy?

Or did you just want a gossip about a parent who is apparently a convicted paedophile?

Really, if you want to reach a whole new level of paranoia, you should be pleased that dd has been banned from productions and public performances, then she will be safe from the prying eyes of the unconvicted paedophiles. Those ones that you may well be inviting to dinner as they haven't got their badge yet...

I imagine it went something like -

Teacher - right class we need names of people who want to sign up for choir

OPs DD puts her hand up to join

Teacher - Oh OPs DD you can't put your name down

Ops DD - why

Teacher - Your Mum doesn't want you in the photos.

Something like that would be far more plausable than the teacher sitting plotting how best to get back at the OP for saying no photos and going out of her way to humilate a child.

Your attitude sucks btw, being so entitled as to let your choices impact on a whole school of kids is awful. I wouldn't worry about any more parents telling you playground gossip they won't be speaking to you at all soon enough.

Do the choir wear full floor length robes?

That should be ok then.

How do the school gossips know that this 'peadophile' is being sent the school newsletter?

Google doesn't tend to advertise pregnancies it's handy for things like this though.

so if he is a convicted paedophile, why the hell does he still have access to any children, especially his own?

If he has no contact with his children, then why is he still able to receive a newsletter from a school from which he should have no dealings?

Those are the things you should be focussing on, rather than not allowing your dd to be photographed in activity appropriate attire just in case a paedo sees her.

There was a convicted paedophile FOR DEFINITE at both of the schools your daughter has attended? Still living with his/her children? Really?

So, to sum up, you are worried about a peadophile seeing a picture of a group of children that your DD might be in?

Oh I have no doubt you will get her in the choir - no doubt at all (whether she can hold a tune or not). I just hope it will be YOU that has to explain to her why she will NOT be able to participate when they are performing - and she wont. The school will not change what they do, not even to pacify one hissy-fitty-parent.

No just the one school not sure what you're on about there Cathy

Why wasn't she allowed to be photographed at last school then?

Thats a very good point MrsDeVere

People like to OP distract from the very real issue of photographs for some families

You have already said that this is to make YOU feel more comfortable, this is not for you DD benefit. Have you thought though how your decision to make YOU feel happier will effect her?

People like the op wonder if people like my (male) oh become primary school teachers....

And good point, Mrs Devere, although no school I've worked in would eye roll at all about genuine, serious reasons. We had a kid in witness protection once, of course everyone understood and was super careful.

I've said no to my DC photo appearing on any outside newsletters/websites etc b(but fine for him to be photo'd by CM and for her to display/put it on the printed newsletter for various reasons. I'll be making that same choice at his junior school.

I'd be pretty pissed if that choice meant he couldn't then be part of any clubs/teams unless it had been really clear that that what withdrawing my consent meant. I don't mind his photo being taken but until he's older I am not happy with it.

Didn't finish first sentence, I meant to add "because they have sinister motivations"

Your DD will not be in the choir if you insist on her photo not being taken.

Schools like to ensure their profile is out there to encourage other parents to send their kids. That means photos showcasing the school's students.

And if the choir is off the school premises you will have NO control of any photos taken, as the choir will be in a public place, and anyone in the public will be able to take photos if they wish.

MrsDV - I like to think that all most some HT's can sort the wheat from the chaff.

'I'm not happy with it being put on the Internet' that should read.

So basically your dd is friends with an 11 year old whose parent is a convicted paedophile. You don't know where this child lives or with whom but you do know that the paedophile receives the school newsletter via email. So you don't want your dd photographed.

Agree with mrsdevere