Would you be happy for a photo of your child dressed

[Mosman]

In a crop top, aged 11 to be circulated on the Internet ?
I'm fcuking fuming just not sure how to handle this.
When we joined the school I was given a form asking for a signature to authorise the children to be photographed. We declined. That as far as I'm concerned should have been the end of the matter.
Except this morning I get a phone to make sure I understand the implications of my child not bring photographed, I say that I do, I am told that she the teacher will explain to my child that she needs to ask mum if she questions why she cannot be photographed. Fine I say.
When the children arrive back into the classroom from assembly the teacher stands up in front of the class and announced that Dd is the only one who cannot have her picture taken, that she may not be able to join the school band or choir because of this.
Later on in the day I received the school newsletter via email displaying DD's classmates performing a dance wearing cropped tops, midriffs on display, confirming everything I was concerned about.
How do I handle this effectively and get a satisfactory outcome ?

you seem to be projecting alot of intent and motivation onto what the teacher 'did'....i really think you need to find out from the teacher, what she said and how..

I really don't agree that children should be excluded from clubs if parents don't agree to them being photographed

Social services dictate that our FC cannot be photographed for their own safety, it's not then entirely fair for them to be excluded from things they enjoy.

to be fair to OP, she hasnt explained her reasons for not wanting the photographs..

No I wouldn't mind. I have an 11 yo who spends a lot of time in dance and gym leotards and a 14 yo who is often to be found in a high legged very tight swimming costume.

On occasions, when they are preforming or getting certificates people take pictures. I'm certainly not going to worry about it.

I think it is different when there is proper reasons Freddie, and then things should be worked to ensure the child doesn't miss.

However, slightly off topic in the case where a child is fostered because of abuse would they be allowed to take part in a school choir singing in a local shopping centre?

If their choir is asked to sing carols to the Mayor outside the town hall should they insist that everybody watching can't take a photo? Should they turn down the request so everybody misses out?

If the choir is singing ourside the town hall, they can't insist people don't take photos. It's a public place and anyone can take pics.

Takataka - have you posted on the wrong thread? The OP on this thread has listed several different reasons she isn't happy about it - she just can't decide which one it is that making her 'fucking fuming'.

I'm also curious as to why the OP refused to allow her DD to be photographed in her previous school(s). If the issue is the local pedophile who receives all the school emails (and how she knows this is another issue), what was the issue at the other school(s)? I know others have asked this question, I'm just repeating it for emphasis.

I think, the previous school didn't publish any photos (internet or newletters) - nothing to do with the OP. Well, at least that's what I took from what she said.

What KitchenandJumble said.

chipping she has talked about the convicted paedophile......i didnt take that to be her reason though? is it?

Well, I got the impression that it's "AIBU." General consensus, yes, apart from teacher (possibly) humiliating child. "I don't like that answer, so I'll use drip fed justifications"

I agree, mrs Devere. But the op is very unclear in her reasons. If she just said, I think paedophiles are a huge fear and I'm scared of my daughter being in a photo whether reasonable or not, I'd think she was wrong, but respect her view.

Takataka - some of the options...

• She's protecting her child's privacy (in HER opinion, not her DD's)

• She thinks the school is not trustworthy - she considers publication of photos of children in their swimsuits/crop tops to be inappropriate. Even in the prostectus.

• She thinks the school will send the newsletter to the 'paedo father' of her daughters school friend.

• She thinks she should be obeyed without any discussion and the teacher should be hauled over the coals for discussing it with her daughter

• that's all I can think of for now...

chipping OP may have some history, which make any of those points more relevant...

I'm sure she would make something up tell us if that was the case

MrsDV - I agree, the school should respect the parents decision no matter how ridiculous the reason. However, I don't think there was anything wrong with the teacher calling to make sure that the form had been filled in correctly - so as not to exclude MiniMosman in error.

Apparently, had she known in advance she would have stopped the crop top wearing, as would other parents - amazingly she knows that & states that despite them being happy to have the photo put in the newspaper

MrsD I think if there are actual reasons for no photos and the parent/carer explains and doesn't expect their child to be stuck in a photo and then photoshopped out then teachers are very understanding.

It's just when faced with parents who are hysterical about other peoples children in cropped tops, who insist their child must be in the choir and no one can ever take pictures and is quite happily spouting off about a convicted sex offender that they actually know nothing about, 3 weeks after joining the school that they may be a little off

According to common local knowledge I have a daughter who'll be about 17 know (I don't), and a chap up the road tells people I'm French (I'm not) - more evidence of the dangers of common local knowledge.

now not know blush

You sound like the sort of parent who enjoys drama and attention at the expense of their child. Who looks for offence and uses a lot of school time, that could be used much more productively, because your need for special treatment is greater than your desire to help your child enjoy school life.

A more productive approach would be to ask for child's teacher for 10mins, explain your dd felt upset and what she'd told you ( it may be different to what actually happened) and ask if there might be a way she could join the choir or whatever even though she can't have her photo taken. Even if it means you going on trips, taking the photos and photoshopping her out. Because that's what you're asking for which is likely to be more than the school is resourced to provide.

I wouldn't have a problem with this, nor how the teacher told the class, and I think its fair enough your dd not being in the choir.

Apils if asked but would you allow dd to be photgraphed if she said she wanted to be?

Good job you're not Tom Daley's mother, you'd have had him diving behind a massive screen at Beijing and London so the world of evil paedos couldn't see him in his 'bathers'.

If it were down to your DD being looked after and concerns about her being tracked down, I'd understand. But I think you're being hysterical. There's every chance this 'convicted paedophile' will see her in the street or at pick up time - exactly how will banning her from photos help?

You are right that ticking 'no photos' should be adequate though, but I'd confirm exactly what was said to your daughter before going off at the deep end like Tom Daley