Would you be happy for a photo of your child dressed

[Mosman]

In a crop top, aged 11 to be circulated on the Internet ?
I'm fcuking fuming just not sure how to handle this.
When we joined the school I was given a form asking for a signature to authorise the children to be photographed. We declined. That as far as I'm concerned should have been the end of the matter.
Except this morning I get a phone to make sure I understand the implications of my child not bring photographed, I say that I do, I am told that she the teacher will explain to my child that she needs to ask mum if she questions why she cannot be photographed. Fine I say.
When the children arrive back into the classroom from assembly the teacher stands up in front of the class and announced that Dd is the only one who cannot have her picture taken, that she may not be able to join the school band or choir because of this.
Later on in the day I received the school newsletter via email displaying DD's classmates performing a dance wearing cropped tops, midriffs on display, confirming everything I was concerned about.
How do I handle this effectively and get a satisfactory outcome ?

[hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman]

On the whole photos of a child dressed in a crop top or swimsuit will not turn a paedophile on, the kinds of images they want are freely available in the circles in which they move already.

[freddiefrog]

Sirzy depends on the FC's circumstances. We have to get permission from Social Services for anything like that. Singing in a choir in a large shopping centre - probably not, outside our local co-op, probably yes. Not a blanket no, some they allow, some they don't, specially if it's something likely to appear in the local paper.

[bedmonster]

Is OP male or female?

[squeakytoy]

If my kid was singing in the choir, and I wanted a photo of my child singing in that choir, I would bloody take one.

Are they singing naked? I very much doubt it.. so what on earth is the bloody issue with choir singing?

[Cathycomehome]

OP not clarifying reasons. Maybe we'll be told now that she's a vulnerable child, but OP forgot to mention it.

[crikeybill]

I'm sorry but I refuse to believe for one second that you let your dd play with the child of a convicted peeedo ! Also, you said you didn't know if it was the mum or dad? So who collects your dd's little friend ? Do you ever speak to them ?

A convicted peeedo would also not be allowed to still live with their child. Sorry but that's bollocks.

I.don't.believe. you.

[crikeybill]

You won't even let her wear a crop top, I can't see you being OK with her choice of friend. What if she wants to invite them over. Or go there !!!!!!

[imaginethat]

squeaky in Australia everyone sings naked. That weird wearing clothes thing is new over there

[IfYouSeeMeSayHello]

Barking mad.

[DreamingofSummer]

Bonkers and paranoid

[upsylazy]

OP, what is your view about all the other parents who are perfectly happy to have their DCs photographed "in a state of undress"? If you're doing this to protect your DD, you must believe that the other parents are being negligent by not protecting their DC's safety and/or privacy? If it's common knowledge that a convicted peedo gets sent the school newsletter, why are all the other parents still happy to have their Dcs photographed?
What explanation have you given your DD for why she can't be photographed like all her friends? Because if it's just "because I say so", that isn't going to be adequate for an 11 year old.
We all want to protect our children but your whole attitude is seriously paranoid. What happens when your DD phones you to say that she's gone to a friend's house after school - are you going to charge round demanding a CRB check on the parents? What about when she goes on sleepovers?
You said that you'd be happy to have people you trust photo your DD - it's a sad fact that most abuse is perpetrated by people known and trusted by the child's family
If you carry on the way you are, you'll have a heart attack by the time your DD is 16 and you are doing everything right to have a massive rebellion on your hands in a few years time.

[Kendodd]

Where are you OP?

[UterusUterusGhaLaLaLaLaLi]

Crickey, I know of a Cat 1 sex offender being allowed to live with new baby & step children.

Op, you said it's nicer been an issue in previous schools. Were there peeedos there too?

Don't you think the bloke would be mote interested in the actual victims living with him than some strangers midriff?

You sound mad as a box of frogs tbh.

[UterusUterusGhaLaLaLaLaLi]

She's talking bollocks.

Dont believe her.

[lovebunny]

op - twelve pages ago - is your daughter in the photograph? if not, the school's system has worked. point out to your daughter that the other girls are immodestly displayed and that it is not acceptable in your opinion. write to the school and complain about the inappropriateness. then leave them all to get on with it.

[ifancyashandy]

You joined the school, got asked about photos and declined permission.

But the reason(s) you declined permission are contradictory make no sense - you said, firstly, it was because you looked at the prospectus and didn't like the images you saw of girls in swimsuits etc. But then you later drip feed that your decision was due to playground gossip about a parent.

Surely you wouldn't know the second piece of 'info' until after you started your DD at the school? Which contradicts your first point

[Morloth]

Did you settle in Mosman, Mosman?

[Hulababy]

The photos wouldn't bother me particularly tbh. Not sure why you are concerned about the photos if your DD is not in them.

No the teacher should not have mentioned this in assembly to/about your DD. They could have spoken to her quietly before or after instead and just told her that she couldn't be included in the photographs.

Is the school band/choir regularly photographed because of where they perform? Is this why she couldn't be included?

[Hulababy]

We have one child in school who isn't allowed to be photographed by parent request. If I am doing a group shot I ask her to come and stand by me whilst I take the photo. I don't send her on a pretend errand or mess about putting her at the end and then cropping - I don't always have the time for faffing about later on on photoshop or whatever. I would never comment out loud about why toother children. I assume the child knows and I just dont take their picture.

[Hulababy]

Schools are encourages to photograph "in action" shots. They help provide evidence of the learning a child does.

Do you have a no photograph at all ever rule then?

Not come across that. Every child in our school is always photographed in the classroom/at sports days/ in action etc. It is only for the whole publishing thing we have the permission slips.

[Picturesinthefirelight]

What a long thread

But yes in happy for pics of dd in a crop top to be posted on the Internet.

In fact I put one of her on there myself last year when she was 10 in panto with an ex soap actor. It was Aladdin. The crop top costume was her favourite.

[squeakytoy]

I think it is quite sad that the child will have no photographs of herself to look back on in later years.

I have photos of when I was in school plays, swimming teams, doing my dance routines, church parades and carnvals in our town (how would you police that one OP?)

[Picturesinthefirelight]

As for the joining thing.

A local theatre holds a performing arts festival every year. Dance schools, theatre groups, primary schools & secondary schools are invited to take part. It is a condition of taking part that parents have to agree to photos and videos.

So it would be pointless joining the dance club if they can't actually perform.

[MrsWembley]

Right, I have struggled through to the end of this looking for the answer to one question - why is an 11yr old in Yr 5?

Either the OP is a little muddled or...

Oh, and I pretty much agree with everyone else about the rest of it. YPMYSLAA.

[Mosman]

We are in Australia my child is actually 10 most of the other children are 11, my 12 year old is in year 6 here.

I have decided I'll sit back and wait and see if the choir and band become an issue and deal with that if it becomes an issue.

Thanks again for the comments.