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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to breastfeed my toddler in public?

367 replies

RainbowsFriend · 03/12/2012 21:10

My 18 month DD still breastfeeds a lot. Day and night, if I'm around and not at work.

I don't have a problem with this, (although I would like more sleep! Grin) but it's increasingly becoming awkward when out and about, as toddlers don't cuddle in nicely but squirm and pop on and off a lot.

Today we were in a garden centre cafe, and having polished off most of her lunch, half of my sandwiches AND most of a flapjack, DD wanted mummy milk.
So I obliged. As discreetly as possible with one top up/ on top down, DD tucked in under my jumper and facing a wall.

Then all I can hear is the group of mums on the table behind me saying "it shouldn;t be allowed when they're that age - they should be down to morning and evening feeds MAXIMUM - in fact they should be on formula/cows milk by 6 months/a year" etc. There were about 5 mums all loudly discussing it....

I think my daughter should be allowed mummy milk for as long as she wants it personally. She's not still going to be feeding aged 8 - and she's only 18 months now! I am getting VERY fed up with stares when this happens and really don't want to be confined to the house. I could ask her to wait, but she doesn't really understand that yet - and just asks louder and louder Grin

So WIBU to feed her in public?

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 03/12/2012 21:11

Cant you express some and take it out with you?

And the expression "mummy milk" is a bit icky...

HairyGrotter · 03/12/2012 21:11

No, do what suits you and DD, sod everyone else.

I never had these comments, pains me that I didn't cause I'm all about 'WTF did you just say'. Shame really

Sirzy · 03/12/2012 21:12

Ignore them. As long as you are happy and more importantly your daughter is happy sod everyone else.

You made the effort to be discrete and nobody was forcing them to look.

mrskeithrichards · 03/12/2012 21:12

I'm pretty sure no one said anything.

LivvyPsMum · 03/12/2012 21:12

I love to see babies breastfeeding, but tbh I hate to see older babies/toddlers doing it. Sorry. I think it just looks wrong. You weren't being unreasonable though. That is just my opinion and obviously the opinion of the women discussing it, but in reality its no one else's business.

Iggly · 03/12/2012 21:13

Why is mummy milk icky?

That's what it is Hmm

Why should she express? When toddler has a perfectly good method for getting it out.

YANBU OP

Wisteria36 · 03/12/2012 21:13

No, if more of us did perhaps people wouldn't make these comments. It's none of their business and 18 months is not even very old imo!

dwagdays · 03/12/2012 21:13

Not at all unreasonable.
Nothing to do with anyone else.

Coconutty · 03/12/2012 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BertieBotts · 03/12/2012 21:15

Not at all - I did up until DS was at the age where he only wanted it at home which was somewhere between 18 months and 2, and after then on the very rare occasion he really wanted it and nothing else would do. Mostly nobody even noticed TBH. It's not like you need to stand up and announce "BTW I'm going to feed my two year old now with my boobs, I hope none of you are offended!"

18 months is barely a toddler Confused My friend used to feed her 18 month old all the time and nobody batted an eyelid.

yousankmybattleship · 03/12/2012 21:15

Yes YABU. Totally inappropriate. As you said, your child was not hungry. It is not like feeding a baby who needs it.

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells · 03/12/2012 21:15

YABU to use the expression Mummymilk.
What's wrong with breastmilk?

ChippingInLovesAutumn · 03/12/2012 21:16

YANBU to bf her in public.

YABU if you expect everyone else to think it's great.

It's entirely up to you what you do about that though.

Original poster
RainbowsFriend · 03/12/2012 21:17

DD can't say breastmilk, and it's what she says when she doesn't want cows milk, but my milk so...

... I think it's better than what some of her little friends do - which is shout "boobies!" Grin

OP posts:
skislope · 03/12/2012 21:17

I still feed my 18 month DD myself and she also has cow's milk. Wouldn't occur to me to express, that was enough of a hassle when she was exclusively fed!! :-S Honestly I don't think it's a big deal to see an 18 month old being breastfeed, am surprised people commented? Weirdos!

BertieBotts · 03/12/2012 21:17

Because it's not about food at that age, battleship. Denying it is like denying a cuddle to a child who isn't breastfed - they do need it. The fact you can wean them off that need is beside the point, OP has chosen not to and that is a valid choice.

(I'm going to be here all night now aren't I? Grin)

3monkeys3 · 03/12/2012 21:18

YANBU at all. I can't believe the attitudes of some people. 18 months is still a baby.

FredKiller · 03/12/2012 21:19

I feed my 18mo out and about when he asks (which isn't that often now tbh). I neither notice nor give a toss what anyone else says or thinks. I certainly couldn't be arsed to express and carry milk around with me.

BertieBotts · 03/12/2012 21:19

"Mummy milk" is twee but so are lots of toddler sayings. I found "milk" was sufficient but "mummy milk" was a useful clarifier.

squeakytoy · 03/12/2012 21:19

I will always be of the view that if they are old enough to ask for it, they are too old to be doing it.

So shoot me.

Coconutty · 03/12/2012 21:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tailtwister · 03/12/2012 21:21

Yanbu. If people don't like it that's their problem. Seriously, why should you give a shit what some random people think? You are doing what you think best for your child. They should butt out and concentrate on theirs. I would have turned around and called them on it. I do wonder about the skewed attitudes some people have about breastfeeding. Very ignorant and misinformed.

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells · 03/12/2012 21:21

Yea, but you're not 18 months old op, and you're on an adult forum.
The expression mummymilk just irks.
Apart from that do what you like, and ignore though I'm always surprised the number of people out there who make loud judgements about perfect strangers.

iwillsleepagainsomeday · 03/12/2012 21:22

just ignore.
can't see why it's more logical to feed a human child cows milk rather than human milk. But hey that's me.

In any case, even if people do not like seeing someone bf a toddler (A couple of years ago I would have thought the same simply because I was ignorant and not used to it) they should not be so rude as to point their opinion out so in your face.

MimsyBorogroves · 03/12/2012 21:23

I don't think YABU to feed in public - I'm feeding my nearly 1yo and still feed in public - though I know he tends to be a pain with the popping off and messing, so actually I'm more likely to feed him in the car for the benefit of us both.

I think feeding an older baby is still quite rare, unfortunately, and people DO comment and hoick their judgeypants.

I do think "mummy milk" is cringe-worthy though.