AIBU to breastfeed my toddler in public?

[RainbowsFriend]

My 18 month DD still breastfeeds a lot. Day and night, if I'm around and not at work.

I don't have a problem with this, (although I would like more sleep! ) but it's increasingly becoming awkward when out and about, as toddlers don't cuddle in nicely but squirm and pop on and off a lot.

Today we were in a garden centre cafe, and having polished off most of her lunch, half of my sandwiches AND most of a flapjack, DD wanted mummy milk.
So I obliged. As discreetly as possible with one top up/ on top down, DD tucked in under my jumper and facing a wall.

Then all I can hear is the group of mums on the table behind me saying "it shouldn;t be allowed when they're that age - they should be down to morning and evening feeds MAXIMUM - in fact they should be on formula/cows milk by 6 months/a year" etc. There were about 5 mums all loudly discussing it....

I think my daughter should be allowed mummy milk for as long as she wants it personally. She's not still going to be feeding aged 8 - and she's only 18 months now! I am getting VERY fed up with stares when this happens and really don't want to be confined to the house. I could ask her to wait, but she doesn't really understand that yet - and just asks louder and louder

So WIBU to feed her in public?

I got to the point where I snapped "If you don't like it, don't look". I had some negative comments, but strangely all when DS was small - though I was a young mum, so think it was down to that.

DS self weaned a few months ago, just before he turned three. He was mainly down to one feed, first thing in the morning, but sometimes when overtired / poorly he would ask for it.

Thing is, people always find something to comment on when you're parenting. I was horrendously upset by the comments I received, but then I also had some lovely people who beamed at me and told me I was doing a brilliant thing for DS. Just as now some people will smile and say what a lovely little boy he is, and some misery will purse their lips or glare because he might be asking a lot of questions / making some mess / whatever.

Don't let anyone put you off what can only be a good thing for both you and your child. x

porridge - if it came from elbows, then elbows would be the object of many men's desire. Women would have elbow enhancements. We'd have to wear elbow coverings. Boobs wouldn't interest anyone. Can you imagine it?

Why is over 2 a bit hmmm pigletmania?! What is so wrong with a child wanting breast milk?!

My son kisses my breasts, offers them drinks and snacks, brings them toys to BF and it's adorable. Your DS sounds lovely SirBoobALot

rainbow continue to feed your child where you like and ignore the ignorant comments in real life and on here.

It's milk and it comes from mummy, mummy milk, no?

Of course YANBU. Tell them the WHO advice as quoted by a poster above. And if they can't understand that tell them they are twats.

Yanbu, how bloody ridiculous that any woman should feel under pressure to not feed her baby wherever the hell she likes and as often as she / baby likes. And quite frankly I don't see why you should give two hoots about what you call it either. It's natural, oh but not as natural as taking a nipple lookalike teat with another's mammals milk in a plastic bottle and giving that to your baby? I am not anti formula, I know it has it's place in certain circumstances, but when mums are made to feel guilty to feed their babies in the way nature intended because other people get offended (embarrassed) it's infuriating. I think it's because there is a confusion in society between boobs for sex and boobs for feeding baby, people get embarrassed and the more women who get their boobs / mummies milk / bitty or whatever they want to call them out to feed their babies / toddlers etc out then perhaps the more it will become socially acceptable.

Don't change op! ;)

Well done for feeding out and about as your baby gets older. I used to feed DD in public from time to time until she was over two - no-one ever batted an eyelid so I could never use my pre-arranged rant educational speech. Ignore the ignorant, rude twats and carry on doing what you're doing

Poor you, OP - what awful ignorant women. You're doing a great job - don't let this put you off BFing in public. You are doing NOTHING wrong.x

squeakytoy - how do you reconcile your 'opinion' with WHO guidelines, which state children should be breastfed until 2?

I expect you will trot out some nonsense about said guidelines relating only to developing countries (as if having clean running water means another species' milk is suddenly better and more appropriate for humans ) - but even then, presumably children in developing countries are able to 'ask for it' just as much as Western children...?

The thank god for that comment was probably relief at an end to the whining, not praise of your bfing. You would have got the same response if you had shoved a bar of chocolate in his gob.

I want to be all like "oh yeah, totally awesome to feed your toddler" and actually I think 18 months is more baby than proper toddler. But actually I think it's kind of icky when they are walking talking. And 'mummy milk' is a horrendous expression. Strange as I'm not normally one for thinking natural body stuff is disgusting. Guess that will be the social conditioning at play.

I realise that demented, but a bar of chocolate wouldn't have had the same result. I think that's the point that several of us have tried to make. BFing toddlers isn't just for nutrition. I don't see why that is a bad thing.

Icky? But your body is designed to do it. How can that be icky?

None of the mothers who I know (which is quite a lot) have bf over 6 months. To me it is just not something I have ever known people to do. Their children do not appear to be missing out on any of their developmental stages.

I still feed my 2.3yr old dd in public and I haven't had any negative reactions at all......yet!

Yanbu op. What vile ignorant women. Also stunned by some of the attitudes on here. 18 months is still very small.

I personally love that I can reassure soothe and comfort dd in such an easy way. I couldn't bf dc1, so I can really compare the experiences and say that bf is a very useful parenting tool when you have a toddler!

Well op I love the term mummys milk and really can't understand why people dislike it.
People say cows milk because it comes from a cow so why not say mummys milk when it comes from mum.

I stopped feeding at 12 months. But don't think there is anything wrong with feeding later if mum and baby are happy. Ignore the silly women they sound like a bunch of bitchy school girls.

Y.A.N.B.U
Attitudes to extended breastfeeding in this country are shocking. Good for you and well done OP.

I can't imagine why anyone would be horrified at an 18 month old baby being bf. I was, it has to be said, slightly surprised at the woman who, on a freezing cold night at an outdoor event, fed her 4 year old in a particularly exposed manner. But my surprise was not a question of disapproval, more of astonishment that she hadn't frozen half to death doing it in the way she was.

But so what, squeaky? Why should you make others feel bad for their perfectly legitimate choices?

I fed mine for 'only' 13 and 16 months respectively and if I'm entirely honest, I think BFing beyond 2 years maybe does make me a teeny bit uncomfortable, but that's clearly down to social conditioning and my own feelings on the matter. Which should impact on others not a jot.

To pronounce to others that they shouldn't do it because of my feelings, wouldn't really make me anything other than a bit of a twat, would it?

Well not everyone will agree with feeding an older baby/toddler in public, they have a right to their opinions. Thing is you go head and do it, dont mind anybody else. I would never dream of passing comment, starring its rude, I just keep my opinions private

Pandemoniaa now tts going too far

YANBU. I must admit that I'm too embarrassed to feed my 2.1yo in public any more, or even mention it at all, for fear of being judged. Kind of feel I'm letting the side down.

My dd calls it mama milk. She refers to cows milk as "milk in a cup"

Sometimes I've felt uncomfortable feeding her in public, and I've tried to distract her. I then give in because she doesn't understand my discomfort and she is asking so innocently and I feel so bad denying her for the reason that I thought people who I don't even care about might disapprove. I feel like I am denying her love if I refuse and our relationship is so much more important than some strangers unjustified disapproval.