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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

or is this a strange thing to say to a child?

161 replies

Itsaboatjack · 22/11/2012 14:42

I was dropping my 2yr old at nursery this morning; to get in you go through a gate and down a passage where there is an outdoor cupboard where the buggies are stored before you get to the entrance to the building. So this morning as I'm folding the buggy down my dd knocks on the cupboard door and says something like 'hello, who's in there'. A man (not a parent of another child) says 'ooo it's a monster, that's where the monsters live'. I just brush over this with dd saying something like he's just joking there's no monsters then turn to him and say 'please don't say that I her, what a daft thing to say to a small child'. He then basically said I was being ridiculous and a fool', to which my well thought out comeback was 'no, you are'.

Anyway I take dd upstairs and settle her into nursery, when I came down I went out another way (I needed to use the toilets) that took me through reception. The same man was there chatting to the receptionist, obviously about me as when I came in he said 'oh here she is'. To which I just said 'excuse me!' He then went on to say 'I think there must have been some misunderstanding earlier', I replied 'no misunderstanding you told my 2yr old there was a monster in a cupboard she has to walk past everyday and I asked you not to'. He then went on to say that he worked with children and that scaring them with talk of monsters and then discussing and overcoming fear was a strategy they used. I then said that even if that was true he wasn't in some kind of therapy session with my dd it was a comment to a child that he had no idea about. He then accused me of only saying anything because he was a man and I wouldn't have said anything to a women. I asked why could he just not accept that it was an ill thought out comment and apologise, he just carried on trying to defend what he did so I just walked off then.

Was I wrong? Should I have just let it go?

OP posts:
Loveweekends10 · 25/11/2012 02:31

YANBU. I would have been annoyed too. He sounds like a Prat. I can't believe so many people think its ok. Your dd is 2 not 6!

SomethingOnce · 25/11/2012 05:01

I venture that you were a little oversensitive about the original comment, but I don't know your DD and how she'd take it (that said, neither did he and I don't think I'd say something like that to any child, never mind one I didn't know).

What would've pissed me off was the 'Oh here she is' comment to the receptionist (meaning: I told her what you said and she agrees with me) so on the grounds of this twattishness, YANBU.

I feel a bit sorry for him though - he was probably a bit embarrassed that he misjudged it and you reacted like you did.

Alligatorpie · 25/11/2012 06:08

I don't think he was embarrassed, otherwise he wouldnt have mentioned it to the receptionist, I think he was being a twat.
I wouldn't want him anywhere near my dd, who would have been terrified at age 2 if anyone told her there was a monster at her daycare.

Chunkychicken · 25/11/2012 06:47

I think my 2.7yo DD would have been okay with such a comment, as she often runs around saying monsters/dinosaurs are chasing her - however, I don't know for certain how she would react in this scenario. So, on balance, if your DD was okay with the comment, YAB a bit U to speak to him about it.

HOWEVER, if he truly was some sort of childcare professional, he was being incredibly unprofessional to a) call you a fool, b) assume your DD needed any sort of "therapy" from him (which I am a bit Hmm about as well - working through fears doesn't take 30s!!) and c) to gossip about you and then openly try to engage you in an argument again, was childish and VU. He sounds like a tool...

KittyFane1 · 25/11/2012 07:13

Going off your original OP, it sounds as if you handled it REALLY badly and need to remove that coathanger before it does permanent damage.
So your DC wasn't trembling with anxiety and panic for the rest of the day, they didnt have nightmares?
He was being nice and you were rude. You could have joined in and said (panto style) "Don't be silly! You're not a monster, you're a man!! Monsters don't exist" but instead you chose to have a go at someone who was trying to be friendly. That was horrible of you.
Next time you see him, you should apologise.

AllIWantForXmasIsJewels · 25/11/2012 09:18

There IS a monster in that cupboard though. I've seen it.

KittyFane1 · 25/11/2012 17:00

AllIWantForXmasIsJewels
Grin

Nanny0gg · 25/11/2012 17:39

What slambang said.

digerd · 25/11/2012 18:58

OP
YANBU - and I am shocked at the many comments made to you.

gimmecakeandcandy · 25/11/2012 19:18

I think you are getting the typical OTT replies on here op - the type of posters that are positively gleeful at the prospect of telling you how 'precious' and 'over the top' you are and then arguing back again...

Whilst it is not probably something I would have reacted to, (its the type of thing I would say to mine! Blush ) yanbu in your response to him and yes he was a dick to Carry it on and should have just said sorry and that is that. He sounds like the type of tit who always thinks he is right and I bet he calls women 'love' all the time too... Hmm

WasLostNowamFound · 25/11/2012 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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