AIBU to expect DM NOT to buy DD 'personalised' things with her name spelt incorrectly!?

[therewearethen]

I'm pregnant and hormonal so don't really care if I sound ungrateful but DD is 4.9 and has leant to spell her first name and is having a good go at her surname.

She has just started in a new school, has been there a week and they sent a homework book home on Fri on which they spelt her name incorrectly, so I took the label off and replaced it.

DM turned up with a random present for DD today on which has her 'name' but it's spelt incorrectly. It's not the first time this has happened. I mentioned the homework book to DM who told me I must tell the school of their mistake which I thought was a bit hypocritical given 2 seconds previously she'd done the same thing!

Don't wish to out myself but we're talking calling a child hollie but deciding to spell it holly. IYSWIM, DD's is slightly different to this and I've never seen anything with our spelling on it but that's partly why we chose an alternative.

So AIBU in not wanting these personalised gifts that are in fact not at all personalised with the right name!?

My name has a lot of spellings and none more normal than the other - similar to say catherine, catharine, katharine, katherine... except my name has three different letters that can change...

I always looked at those keyrings and pens and mugs and desperately wanted one with MY name on it - but a different spelling would not have counted as my name. These days when it's so easy to get personalised mugs, keyrings etc. there's no excuse for one with a different spelling (or just don't get one at all).

YANBU
I hated "personalised" things that said Startail, I'm Star only Startail when naughty.

I swear and get cross on MN so you are free to use my full name

YANBU in the slightest, OP. Plenty of British names in have acceptable alternative spellings and calling your DD, say, Katharine instead of Catherine or Kathryn isn't remotely the same as calling her Ka'thrin.
Some people are less uptight than others, though. MIL spells the shortened version of her name with an -ie, but is quite happy for others to spell it with a -y. Even her PFB son often gets it wrong (luckily he can spell 'Mum').

Well, don't you think your daughter should be allowed to choose how she feels about it and not have you tell her how she feels about it? Let it go, don't drone on about it and see how she feels once she's older. I think people should refrain from doing that until they can spell their own name properly, but after that, let the child choose.

As a child you could hardly ever get anything with my name on it - occasionally you could get the French spelling and I was happy to have my French name on things.

We are all different, your daughter isn't you - let her be her own person.

The school thing is different entirely and should be corrected.

Fridge - my friend Vicky gets that too. Lots of 'official' stuff addressed to Victoria - she's like I have another friend Victoria - who I can't imagine ever answering to Vicky

I understand how you feel, but it is a rather ungracious attitude,I think you should focus on how kind your mum is being to buy gifts for your DD, rather than criticising.

My neighbours little girl is called Charlie. Her two grannies spelt it Charley on her christening cards, despite knowing the correct way!!!!

Also, I know a Noah, whose name was once written on a Christmad card 'Noagh' and when the sender was questioned as to why, she said "you're Irish, I assumed you'd spell it an Irish way" (what? By sticking a random G in there?)

ROFL at Noagh. Surely the Irish for Noah is Fytiuh [lighthearted no-offence meant smilie]

Slight sidetrack, but what's the correct way to spell Milly/Millie? I would always spell it Milly, like Milly Molly Mandy, but Millie seems to be getting more common.

DD bought herself a pony called MILLIEY earlier this year. That spelling is DEFINITELY WRONG! It makes my teeth itch! Full name Majic Milliey!

That is spectacularly wrong. Majic Milliey!

Why didn't you just spell it the most common way? I've suffered a life time of "Lucy" and I resent my parents for the spelling of my name. Hate it!

Our pet is called Millie. I don't know why it's spelt that way, the kids spelt it when getting her tag made.

Yanbu this would drive me mad.

Fair enough people may spell.it wrong but i would expect close family to get it right!! And why would you BUY something with the wrong spelling?!!

Only two of my children can.get these cups, pens etc with their name on, the other three cant. My eldest doesnt care but it causes whinging when we go to the garden centre and ds2 and ds3 can get their names and ds4 cant. He is Rudi and last time my mil pointed out therevwas a book about a reindeer called Rudy and said she would get him that, umm no as thats not how we spell it so its not his name! He is also 4 in reception and just learninh how to spell.his name, he didnt want the book as it wasnt 'his name' mil tried to tell.him the spelling doesnt matter!! Yes is fecking does. We have already had to correct the school once as they gave him worksheets(printed out) with dots to.join for him to write his name but with a y and not an i.

Bizarrely there are two rudi's in reception! Its a two class intake and they are in seperate classes but thr other boy has it spelt wth an i as well.

Needless to say, said P&P y wasn't named by us and will have her name changed ASAP!

MIL gave DD a bible for her christening inscribed "Katharyn". Dd1 is a perfectly normal, accepted variant of that name but MIL just chucked a few letters in and hoped for the best. I would have been less offended if dd hadn't been best part of a year old, and if i hadnt sent out several cards with the correct spelling on bu then (birth announcement, thank yous, christmas catd, christening invite). It felt like laziness, or an attempt to convey thatshe felt we'd not used the "right" spelling).

I've learned to shrug and accept that people will spell my name in different ways (BigCrysps, BigKrisps, BigCrispz...). However, if someone got me a personalised item with someone else's name on I would simply give it to charity. If it's not spelled the same, then it's not my name.

My eldest DD is 20 and her grandpa has spelled her name wrong her entire life. We think it is hilarious and i have never ever been offended. It is just one of his quirks and we still love him.

Well my name isn´t unusual but I could never find stuff with my name on.

So if there was a "wrong" spelling, I probably wouldn´t have cared.

I do think parents care more than the child.

As long as she knows how to spell her name & the school starts to spell it correctly!

My name was unusual when I was a child and not only difficult for many people to spell but also to pronounce. I don't get this preciousness and even anger about names. I don't judge friends on whether they remember how to spell my name but base my opinion on their actions. Spelling is tough for some, people have a load of different things on their mind, rather a friend who screws up my name than one who screws me over.

My Millie is diminutive of Millicent, so I do correct school settings. Especially as she has SN, so the last thing she needs to do is learn the wrong spelling.

I disagree with people who say that all spellings are deliberate by the parents. In some areas parents can be quite illiterate. They hear a name, then spell it as it sounds to them. So, for instance, they name their child "Shervon" instead of Siobhan.

YANBU. If it's any consolation my mum keeps calling DD the cats name. The cat is called c-for (as in c for cat, nope, not kidding, my parents are just very odd!).

However my SIL is highly unreasonable for not being able to spell her DD's name correctly. That's another £20 blown at notonthehighstreet.... Really should have checked, the poor girl is 4 now.

I know someone who did exactly that Lougle, their son is named Worren.

My dd2 has a 'bel/belle' name. Before she was born I did consider that people would spell it wrong, but loved it so much that I went ahead anyway. It never occurred to me that family would get it wrong. What a mistake. It drives me demented and she's only 2.