AIBU to expect DM NOT to buy DD 'personalised' things with her name spelt incorrectly!?

[therewearethen]

I'm pregnant and hormonal so don't really care if I sound ungrateful but DD is 4.9 and has leant to spell her first name and is having a good go at her surname.

She has just started in a new school, has been there a week and they sent a homework book home on Fri on which they spelt her name incorrectly, so I took the label off and replaced it.

DM turned up with a random present for DD today on which has her 'name' but it's spelt incorrectly. It's not the first time this has happened. I mentioned the homework book to DM who told me I must tell the school of their mistake which I thought was a bit hypocritical given 2 seconds previously she'd done the same thing!

Don't wish to out myself but we're talking calling a child hollie but deciding to spell it holly. IYSWIM, DD's is slightly different to this and I've never seen anything with our spelling on it but that's partly why we chose an alternative.

So AIBU in not wanting these personalised gifts that are in fact not at all personalised with the right name!?

Nope. My name is a very 'creative' spelling of a reasonably normal name. As a child and even now it drives me DEMENTED when people spell it wrong. And I wouldn't be using something that was meant to be personalised, but had someone else's name on it. It would be slung up in the loft quite quickly!

My name is XXXI, not XXXXIE.

If my name was spelt XXXXIE on my birth certificate, then they would have a point. But it's not. It's spelt XXXI on my birth certificate.

OP, YANBU, it would drive me batty.

But the CHILD didn't choose that spelling. It's still their NAME. The one that has been used from the day they were born. So irrespective of who decided to pick a 'creatively spelt' name for their DC, it's still that DC's name, and people just have to learn how to bloody spell THAT person's name.

So they know ten Holly's. They ALSO know a Hollie. Deal with it...

I would be very cross with GM giving gift to Gc with name spelt wrong. It is just rude.
My FIL spells ds name wrong EVERY time he writes it. FIL is dutch, ds has same name as FIL but with english spelling to distinguish them. FIL spells ds name with neither his own nor ds spelling. He never gets dds names wrong, or his other grandchildren.

We have dutch surname, it is spelt wrong at every turn. To the extent that my kids now start to spell it the way the english keep trying to.
I have corrected all dds books, just nicely so it doesn't show, but is now correct. Teacher has now asked her and now spells it right. School secretary is actually very good and gets it right. I do find it frustrating, because I make an effort with other people's names.
Wouldn't mind if it was another child eg party invitation

Floggingmolly - Shouldn't a name be unique like a person? Who's to say what is correct anyway, someone somewhere made it up to begin with.

and my ds name is a standard if less used name. There is only one spelling, and about half people spell it wrong
he is ABCCD they spell it ABBCD
I have the same, my name has a double letter, it is very common standard name and I use most common spelling. The wrong letter is doubled all the time

It is particularly annoying if you have it written down on a form or somethign and thye copy it wrong

YAB a little U as you did not choose the standard spelling, and it was a gift. If you choose any unusual spelling then that is a consequence.

Whaaat? The OP's DM would be miffed when the OP was given 'personalised' gifts with the wrong spelling on when the OP was little, yet does exactly the same to her DGD?!

So it was ok for the OP's mum to be fussy about the spelling of the OP's name, but not to show the same attention to the spelling of her DGD's name.

I have an unusual spelling of a common surname too. There are very few people that spell BOTH my names correctly.

I get sick of it!

What I meant couthy was if we were on hols or something and they had stickers or pencils with xxxxty on them it was fine but if they only had the xxxxtie spelling I didn't. I can't remember if it was DM saying no it's wrong or her saying it'll do but me saying I didn't want it. Long time since I've had personalised stickers and such lol

Sick if correcting lazy people that can't be bothered to spell MY names correctly, I mean.

My name is my name. I expect other people to show consideration and learn how to spell both of my names. I once dumped a boyfriend because in our one year anniversary card, he had misspelt my name. He had been shagging me for a year, yet couldn't be arsed to spell my NAME correctly?!

If I had the excuse of being pregnant and hormonal I'd use it - and hand it back to your mother asking her ever so extra nicely who she knows called Holly and why is she flaunting the present in front of your dd who is called Hollie, you think that it's mean and that she should put it away for 'other Holly' straight away...

Then if when she says that it is for your Hollie, you can say that no, it's not because it is labelled with somebody else's name. And then go all hormonal and tell her that it's just not on to be so wretched about screwing around with a pregnant lady!

Ah, I thought you meant she was being a bit hypocritical. Maybe it was her saying it would do, and you disliking it? That would make more sense tbh, she wasn't bothered, you were, hence it not occurring to her that it might be bothersome, but it really IS and was to you?

Why on earth would he need to know something as trivial as your name if you were shagging him lol

my dd's name ends with y which is a perfectly normal and acceptable spelling of a name, which more commonly ends ie

it really anoys her when people spell it wrong -especially family, teachers and friends she has had for the last 7 years

YABU your poor DD will have to put up with this all her life. Why do people pick unusual spellings? Everyone on this thread has said how much it annoys them when people don't get it right. Didn't u consider the hassle u were putting upon your DD when u chose to burden her with some weird spelt name?

Hollie and Holly are both accepted spellings so I don't consider that as an example of quirkiness and trying to be you'neek. It really irks me when DD's name is spelled incorrectly, hers is the standard spelling but other people really seem to want it to be an alternative spelling Can't win no matter what you do

I've been inspired by this thread to look up my sons name. Two spellings are commonly used but the one we've chosen appears to be slightly more frequent and the alternate spelling is described as a variant. OP seems to have a similar situation I think.

There is no excuse for a grandmother to get the spelling wrong in my mind and I find it quite strange that people think you should be grateful because it's a gift.

As I said earlier my DS is very hurt when MIL misspells his name. It doesn't bother him if others do.

If you've made the spelling of a name difficult on purpose, you don't get to be all annoyed at people spelling the name wrong. It's entirely your own fault.

I have a name that can be ie or y, I'm an ie but I don't get upset if people use the Y. I do get annoyed when I introduce myself as xxxie and am then called xxxxxxxxx, as that is not my name at all, it is just xxxie.

I assumed that the OP's DD has a name that can be spelled in several ways, all of them accepted variations but slightly less common than the 'main' spelling. So Jenny / Jennie rather than Djenni or something.

If you've spelt your child's name wrong then I'm surprised it's taken 4.9 years before you've had this problem. I had a maiden name with an unusual spelling and was so pleased to be shot of it, so annoying constantly to see your own name spelt wrong and you've now subjected your child to a lifetime of this, so well done you.

As for your Mum - do you know how many grandmothers there are out there who aren't supportive and don't buy presents? Really, a simple "that's lovely, Mum, thanks" is all you have to say.

If you choose a different spelling, then expect a lot of people to spell it how it is usually written, and not your personal spelling. I'm afraid I don't see the point of spelling a name differently from the norm. But still YANBU to expect close family members to be able to spell it how you want it.-