AIBU to expect DM NOT to buy DD 'personalised' things with her name spelt incorrectly!?

[therewearethen]

I'm pregnant and hormonal so don't really care if I sound ungrateful but DD is 4.9 and has leant to spell her first name and is having a good go at her surname.

She has just started in a new school, has been there a week and they sent a homework book home on Fri on which they spelt her name incorrectly, so I took the label off and replaced it.

DM turned up with a random present for DD today on which has her 'name' but it's spelt incorrectly. It's not the first time this has happened. I mentioned the homework book to DM who told me I must tell the school of their mistake which I thought was a bit hypocritical given 2 seconds previously she'd done the same thing!

Don't wish to out myself but we're talking calling a child hollie but deciding to spell it holly. IYSWIM, DD's is slightly different to this and I've never seen anything with our spelling on it but that's partly why we chose an alternative.

So AIBU in not wanting these personalised gifts that are in fact not at all personalised with the right name!?

YANBU. Nobody ever gets our surname right and that is frustrating enough. Misspelling of a first name by a family member would drive me loopy.

It depends on how much you've "personalised" your dd's name, really. In your example, calling a child Hollie but spelling it Holly - Holly is actually the usual spelling, isn't it?

When you put your own spin on traditional names this is one of the unavoidable downsides, I'm afraid.
I always wonder why some people, when searching for a unique name for their child think they've cracked it by going for a fairly standard name and spelling it "differently"

I sympathise.

DSis has unilaterally given DS a nickname that we never use for him. Fine, great, no skin off my back. But she has given DM a framed picture of the family with everyone's names written on it...including her nickname for DS. I love her, but I do grit my teeth a bit when I walk past it.

I'm sorry, but I've no sympathy. You chose to give your child an incorrectly spelled name (give an unusual name if you want to be unusual, "unusual spellings" of names just scream illiteracy or trying too hard to be cool tbh) so you, and more so your daughter, have to bear the consequences of that, forever. Why anyone would inflict such inconvenience on their child is beyond me.

my DD is called Libby.We wanted to spell it with an 'i' or 'ie' at the end,just to be a bit different.Then we thought that everyone would spell it with a 'y' anyway so that's how we spelt it!

apostropheuse

not anti MIL, just a fact, DM spelt DDs name correctly from day one. It's a common name with no odd spelling, just didn't suit MIL for her own reasons. I do love her though

spepford my name is Welsh as I was born in Wales and my DF is Welsh. My name is not spelt incorrectly, my DD's names are Welsh also so does that mean I am illiterate? My DD's name are spelt 'incorrectly' in this country yet abroad they are spelt correctly.

TiggyD Mon 12-Nov-12 20:53:38

Not at her age fluffygal. We didn't have Gemmas in the 70s.

Actually I think you are not being unreasonable. I am surprised by the number of posters who think your MIL is just being kind.

This drives me mad - I have a slightly unusual (but correctly spelled) name, and used to love getting personalised items.

We shorten DD's name, but DM insists on shortening it a different way - and then bought personalised item with the 'different' spelling. Whilst I didn't say much, I am a bit miffed.

When DD (Poppy) was born, we got a few cards congratulating us on the birth of 'Poppie'

Yanbu, not at all.

This "ie" / "y" thing is making me go

It's not wrong, it's different - just like Katherine / Catherine.

I am an "ie" and never saw anything with my name spelled correctly as a child. It does seem to be more common with an "ie" now, though.

"Hollie" would only be wrong when referring to a tree, surely? It's a well known, quite common variation of Holly. It isn't wrong, it isn't made up "to be different".

FGS William Shakespeare spelled his own surname about 5 different ways!

DD1 has a name like Susan. For some reason, the nursery often write "Susen". Which isn't even a name. Not just one member of staff, either, it's all over the place. I emailed to correct them.

YANBU, OP.

tiggy and muddling I know a Jemma of 1969 vintage.
She was always called Jemima by teachers at school...

I have a foreign surname and I'm used to people spelling and pronouncing it wrong.
My first name is Ann and it bugs the hell out of me when people spell it Anne, especially when in an email where they used the correct spelling in my email address.
Yanbu

Thanks for your responses, more mixed than I thought!

To answer a few questions it was my own mother not my mother in law, and she knew the spelling was wrong, it wasn't a mistake.

It was a generic thing you'd get in a shop and I totally agree with everyone who said they'd prefer not to have it at all if it's not spelt the right way.

The holly/hollie was an example, that's not her name.

I really don't want to out myself in RL but it's just one letter, but to me that means it's not her name and not personal to her as she knows how to spell her name.

Ironically my name can be spelt with a y or an ie at the end, and when I was a kid, if I wanted something with my name on but they only had it with the ie at the end I didn't have it because it was 'wrong'

Don't wish to start a row but how can a name be 'wrong' if that's how the parents choose to spell it on the birth certificate?

Gemma is a really old saint's name :)

As a one off gift, I honestly don't see the problem. Maybe it's years of trying to find a keyring that said Annunziata on it

Gemma Jones and Gemma Craven were born well before 80s

I think it matters, my name is one of a variation, it bugs me when it gets spelt incorrectly for me. That's not my name. I would have felt very put out if it was my granny doing it.
btw my FIL ALWAYS spells it wrong, not with a variant but by adding random letters in

My granny has spelled my name wrong my whole life...I'm 38 and have never felt anything other than amused by it. Make a joke of it with your daughter and be glad your mum is making the effort.

People should spell people's names right, it's just common courtesy. I have a name that can only be spelt one way (unless you are either pretentious and common and make up some daft version), which is, indeed, spelt that way, is phonetically spelt, well-known, and is only two syllables and yet so many people get it wrong

Pretentious or common, that should read.

Just because it's on a birth certificate doesn't make it the right spelling, no.

The fact that it's spelt "your" way on the birth certificate doesn't validate the spelling, why should it?

YANBU! I'm 37 and called Anne. My gran still misses off the E! It drives me insane!
Mil once bought dd personalised pyjamas. They came with the wrong spelling. When MIL complained to the company, the telephone operator said "sorry, I thought you'd spelled it wrong, so I changed it for you!"
I don't think it matters how you spell a name, the people who love you should know and spell it properly.

Nope - would annoy fuck out of me!

I have never understood why parents pick different spellings of normal names just to be different.