to think if you do the fun stuff you should attend the duty stuff aswell.

[missmapp]

Ds1 goes to Beavers, it is a lovely group and they do lots of fun events, camp fires, night time walks, activity days, visits to lots of exciting places- these are always well attended. As it is Rememberance Sunday tomorrow , they have been asked to go to the Church Parade.

I wasn't sure of the time, so phoned a few other Mum's- all have said their ds does not want to go, so they won't be attending. Now Ds normally goes to football on a Sunday morning, but I have told him he needs to go to the service as it is part of being a Beaver. It saddens me that lots turn up to the fun things, but this will be a low turn out ( as it was last year-only 2my ds and 2 others)

So, AIBU ?

ZebraOwl - Are you in England? I have been grappling for a long time with the problem of low attendance at church parade and was told by one DC to give points for parades and then by another that that would be wrong, as it would undermine the voluntary nature of church parade. So, I don't offer points or prizes.

VirginiaDare - Atheism may well be a valid reason for not attending church parade, but I think the sort of thing we've been discussing on this thread is the civic commemoration event that many towns and villages hold, often at the local war memorial or in another public place, and at which many local organisations are represented.

Quite.

It's very interesting though. I would like to think that the atheists who are objecting to the religious aspects of civic commemoration of remembrance would relish taking part in a more secular observance, however, the cynic in me suggests that generally there would be a wider distaste for commemoration (and 'glamourisation') or war, rather than as a 'lest we forget' - it must not happen again, type of thing.

I would be interested to hear from atheists who do carry out their own secular observance, outwith civic observance? (And no, I don't mean 'dd did a thing at school')

Remembrance doesn't have to be a Christian act. A poppy is a poppy, it isn't a cross. I prefer observances where all of the religious and civic leaders in a town join together, particularly if there genuinely are townsfolk feeling disenfranchised by this act.

Maud - mine last year got a Remembrance Day patch for their camp blanket... It wasn't advertised, just handed out, so not an incentive. It didn't seem to have any noticeable effect on this year's turnout!!

Ok can I describe to you the "thing" dd did at school. It usually takes place on 11th but this year was the closest school day to the date.

It all took place outside on the field and lasted about an hour. The schools cadet force were all in uniform various veterans were in attendance. I think names of fallen old boys were read out. Very often people like school governors and the Lord Mayor are invited.

There were readings and then the last post was played before a 2 minute silence. Selected people then walk down to the cenotaph to lay the school wreath. Younger pupils are taken to visit the wreaths the following week.

I fail to see why this is supposedly of lesser value than a ceremony organised by the scouts or guides Nd why the latter should take precedence over everything else.

It isn't of lesser value.

I was curious what you did to remember, not your dd.

In all my years of being a Guide on the few occasions I went to church parade (I went to my own Sunday School) it was just a normal church service with a 2 min silence. The parade was just walking down the centre aisle of the church at the start of the service. We were never invited to anything at the cenotaph.

What I did to remember? Why? The thread is about children attending stuff

I don't need a once a year service to remember things. We stayed at home on Sunday mornings as we always do. We don't have the Tv or anything on and generally surface for brunch about 11.30.

Dont see the relevance.

I don't think you have to be invited. You just have to pitch up whilst they are laying wreaths and stand there.

Engraved personal invitations not required.

What would your dd have been doing yesterday (as opposed to what your guide unit did in days of yore) if she had gone yesterday? I don't know single guide unit that doesn't lay a wreath somewhere or other. Perhaps your dd's unit is the one I'm missing?

My dd isn't a guide.

I said that upthread. I said she couldn't join as she already dies too much.

I didn't know any guide units layed wreaths except the ones closest to the cenotaph. In the town where I lived there were about 20 or do units and only the one closest to the town would have gone.

That's kind of my point, pictures.

It's so easy to forget. Which is why most veterans would rather the memory of such horror lives on, so that there is at least a hope that it doesn't happen again, through accidental apathy and people getting up for brunch.

Hey ho.

I can only assume that your children don't have parents or godparents or friends or relatives that have been injured or killed whilst serving their country. I'm glad for you, and glad that you don't have the necessity of such reminders in your life. A few moments gratitude once a year isn't too much to hope for - they fight for your right to a lie in, lol. And I'm thankful that they do.

Even if you are not.

It is entirely your right, of course.

Last year dd took me to the cenotaph in the town where her school is to show me the school wreath and the names on it.

My uncle was a member of FEPO. We used to do a lot to helP raise money for the living. I have a string belief that it is the living who are important not the dead. However I have been to visit the graves in France.

Sorry FEPOW

Was there a reason she didn't take you this year?

Look, it's fine. We all have our own personal reasons for remembering or otherwise. Your posts suggested you didn't really see the point.

If I was wrong, and you do have your own secular observation of remembrance annually, my apols. I was out of order. My point was merely that it doesn't have to be a religious service, people of other faiths (or none) should be welcome, but that a few minutes every year to ensure that the faintest hint of shared tragedy and a desire to not repeat lives on isn't too much to ask.

I am noticeably crabby about those who choose to stay on bed (lol) but really, it's a personal thing. And I'd fight for your right to oppose me on it.

It's all about the living, pictures. From the amputees and those with less visible injuries who are taking the place of the elderly and frail, to the families and friends of the fallen.

Remembrance is just a moment of connection.

We haven't been into town yet. I work FT and have a ds as well. Dh and I work all weekend Friday night and all day Saturday and school is 7 miles away.

When you have what is termed by others on MN a committed child life is a juggle and there are times when you just grab the one chance for a lie in.

It's dd and dh that are the atheists not me by the way.

Dd has nothing on at the moment on Sundays but when she had rehearsals not turning up wasn't an option she would have been out of the show (it was semipro)

Likewisecthisevin sports teams. That was my point that it's not always possible to let down other commitments for one off events.

When we say we'll do something - we do it. We never let people down no matter what else comes up. Last Xmas dd
Mussed out on school concerts, bestvfriends birthday party, family trip to football match in hospitality and was on bed by 8pm on xmas day because of panto commitments for example.

Also I'm crap at this sort of thing in public. Same for funerals. When I die I don't want anything - just skip straight to the do afterwards. Hate public displays of emotion. I hate oeo

I hate showing my feelings full stop

I'm on the committed child threads pictures. I have a houseful of them. But I take Remembrance Day as one of those commitments. It just is.

Yy re public displays of emotion. I'm over it wrt remembrance, though.

I'm with the OP - my DS missed his football match so he could attend with the Scouts (sorry team but they shouldn't arrange fixtures in the morning on Remembrance Day IMHO...) - the Coach was fine with it when I explained.

For us it's not the religious aspect so much as the remembrance... when we went outside the church for the two minute silence and last post there were many many people from the village who just turned up for that bit.