To think its a bit control freakery to dictate guests wear a certain colour to a wedding?

[sheeplikessleep]

SIL recently announced her engagement, fantastic news.

Recently found out there is a 'black and white' theme.

Now I know it's her day, blah blah, but seriously, we get told what colours to wear? Agh, means 4 new outfits for us all to buy.

AIBU to think its a bit diva-ish?

Sorry, now going off on a rant about ILs ... apologies!

Fatima - thank you, that's so kind of you to offer a lend of your dress to a complete stranger, thank you! We'll see, a date hasn't been set yet, I am in the 2ww anyway of first month of trying, so I can't do anything yet anyway. But thank you for your kind offer

I would struggle with this and I wear a lot of black. Most of my black clothes are very grungy and totally unsuitable for a wedding, the exception being a lycra dress bought for a black themed hen party which does not cover my arse. My only white is my own wedding dress. Non of the dcs have any black or white (school is grey trousers/dresses and blue shirts). DH has two suits, one blue, one grey and he hasn't any black or white shirts. I probably wouldn't buy a new outfit for a wedding as I have several nice dresses and having to buy six new outfits would piss me off tbh. I think if I were single and childless I might think it fun.

Oh dear >dons hardhat< I had a B&W themed Wedding!!
I also put on the invites that the theme was B&W incase anyone outside the Wedding party wanted to join in. Some did and some didn't it was no biggie. I really hope nobody thought I was being a bridezilla as that wasn't my intention at all.
I would have absolutely LOVED it if someone came as a penguin! and for the record it looked amazing in the pictures, not tacky at all and I'm not even biased

How weird is it to set a colour theme before you've even set a date?

Last wedding I went to was DS1's, no dress requirement stipulated, and the result was delightfully colourful. The only thing I regret is my dove-grey suit, which comes out very pale in the photos, so the bride doesn't stand out as the only near-white wearer (she looked exquisite in ivory satin, but I overshadow her for reasons of sheer bulk). But I had recently lost my job and was worried about losing my house at the time, so buying a new outfit just didn't seem wise. At least this one was newish and respectable. The boys all turned up in dark suits and ties looking like the Blues Brothers.

I agree wearing - it is the fact we're all going to need new attire pisses me off. Dh also has a navy suit, that's it. We're going to have to hire a suit for him.

I've got black kitten heels though, so at least shoes are sorted!

I think we should have a wedding clothes meet and swap - like the thing Gok Wan did a year or two ago.

Get all MNs to bring things they have worn to weddings and swap.

I'm going to a wedding in a couple of weeks and have been worrying about whether it's OK to wear black at a wedding, so thank you for answering that for me.

sashh I thought about setting up a website where you can advertise your wardrobe and swap party dresses and dresses for things like weddings.
All the dresses I have for weddings are more expensive but get worn the least, seems a waste.

I look terrible in black AND white so this would be rubbish for me, and as a rule I wouldn't wear either colour to a wedding. But I think it is a bit more considerate and less Bridezilla than "the theme is pale puce" etc; lots of people will have a black or white dress already. Maybe the bride is thinking of wearing a particular colour herself and doesn't want other people in the same colour. And it could be teal!

Since when are the photos are the main focus of a wedding ?

Sounds totally bridezilla-ish to me; agree with whoever said that weddings are becoming more of an 'event' than about two people comitting to spend their lives together.

Thank goodness I am at the age when I go to more funerals than weddings - they are at least suitable for a black dress code .

GeneHuntsMistress Thu 08-Nov-12 10:04:25
"Could you wear your own wedding dress....? "

Genius, sheer genius

talk about upstaging bridezilla

ideally, all the female guests should turn up in elaborate wedding dresses

Think yourself lucky, most people look good in either black or white.

My SiL insisted everyone wore gold to her wedding. Not a thought about how crap my pasty fair skin would look.

Yes it is very diva ish.

Shiny - that's reassuring. I am definitely going down the school trouser route for the boys then. I will have to buy those as I say as they wear grey, but I can get them quite cheap from Asda or Tesco!

Mulledwine - SIL is going to be wearing black.

Thanks all for your thoughts. It's not a biggie, it's just I was whinging about it a bit to DH and he said it's her day, her choice, we would have bought clothes anyway. I just wondered if I was being a cow!

That's outrageous. You can't insist on the colour of a whole outfit... it might have been fun if she'd said "a splash of pink" or similar, but to dictate the whole thing is distinctly ott.

Surely the bride will just blend in with everyone else if she's wearing black as well? How strange!

That is a bit odd!

The bride is wearing black?

And lots of the guests will be wearing black too... I can't imagine that will look good in the photos. What if there are guests in black maxi dresses/glam full length gowns? The bride will just blend in.

i just knew you were going to tell us the bride is wearing black - i knew it....

Silly bridezillaness, and as others have pointed out it also leaves open the option of lots of very unsuitable outfits. But the usual rules for wedding requests apply, I think. The couple can do and specify whatever they want, but can't see their arses if and when people decide not to come because of it.

queen why?
i said to dh that sil will blend in and his response was "well hers will be more of wedding dress style"

There's no way I'm missing it.

She is family and DHs sister.

Secondly, DH is threatening to wear a white suit and I'm keen to see how he looks in it

As I say, I'm not sure if he'll be more (a) John Travolta (b) man from Del Monte or (c) Puff Daddy.

Seriously, it isn't C, which leaves A and B.