MN IS NOW OFFICIALLY A JOKE FREE ZONE BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS REALLY SERIOUS AND GUARANTEED TO OFFEND SOMEONE SOMEWHERE IN A CUPBOARD IN 1970

[Hullygully]

No jokes please.

1. No jokes about my dh walks a bit funny.

Because real people walk a bit funny and it is SERIOUS. I HAVE REPORTED YOU.

1. No jokes about furriners go ome or goats because real people face this everyday and it is SERIOUS I HAVE REPORTED YOU

I HAVE REPORTED EVERYONE EVERYWHERE FOR EVERYTHING JUST IN CASE

FFS

I have been guilty of ill-judgment and found wanting

I shall don a nylon nightie and stand too close to the gas fire

How youthful are you, anyway, SP?

Because you don't really count as youthful unless you are younger than at least one of my DC (24 & 22)

I have an electric fire and you are talking about gas ones?!

You are obviously an electricist

I am 22 rusty

Baby? Shall I show you my grey pube? Shall I?

I did a fire safety course that showed pictures of rooms in which people had supposedly spontaneously combusted. Always elderly people and nowt remaining but the tartan slippers and greasy mark on the antimacassar.
I am ashamed to say I roared throughout and had to pretend to be suffering from a bad cough.

I am just pissed off cos no has gone "Oh Fellow, your name makes F OFF when you shorten it, how clever

And I hate bleddy too. Just say bloody for fucks sake ya cunt.

My name is Fellowship of Festive Fellows, and I am a MN cunt.

Oh Fellow, your name makes F OFF when you shorten it, how clever

Totally genuine

Oh yeah I had zero sleep last night too looking after my neighbours thre year old. Shattered now.

You're 22! That always shocks me. I'm sure I've seen that before.

This seems the appropriate place to share, I have an embarrassing affliction. I have, on occasion, been known to happily fart into my vagina (it's very satisfying) until I stand up and all that pent up air is released. In a noisy fashion. Normally at work.

I've waited years to tell someone that. The shame! The shame!

My spreadsheet has gone to crap. Is anyone not a cunt? Who likes Miranda and Frankie Boyle. And who had the extra starter?

Sole, a word in your shelllike.

You backed down way way too easy.

NEVER CRUMBLE

Fight them on the beaches

Have at them with halbeards and such.

22?

You're not actually my DD are you?

Feels vindicated now.

But also strangely victimised too.

Must be the MN effect

to Maryz and SP

How the fuck do you FART INTO YOUR VAGINA?

Is there yoga involved? Or a bicycle pump?

Ansy, isn't vagine farting called a quiff?

Nope. I'd not name change to shit on on a newspaper, I'd be posting out and proud and asking which edition I should use.

FOFF . I have a FABULOUS Christmas name but I cannot put it on yet. I miss Sue too much.

I'm a wimp :(

I don't like Miranda or Franlie Boil or Harry and Paul (that ds subjected me too recently) or hardly anything modern.

Except Fresh Meat.

Man I love that.

I don't believe I am rusty my mum and dad are not capable of turning a laptop or computer on never mind joining here

With skill. I did it once by mistake, and then once I figured out I could do it as a matter of course, I went to town on it. No yoga involved. It might be connected to the chair somehow, but I doubt it

BOW DOWN AT MY FANJO'S SKILL

If you are going to shit on a newspaper it's got to be Jan Moir.

FACT!

The minute, Sole, that you start going ooh er I never meant it it was ill-judged etc

They are on you like HYENAS with the scent of wimp blood in their carnovorous joyless nostrils.